u/loughkyre

I’m going to Morocco in a little over a week (marrakech + Atlas Mountains). I checked both places we’re staying (both have great reviews) and there was one review 15 years ago for the place in the mountains that mentioned bed bugs but seemed to be based on “I got bitten” with no evidence of seeing bugs (and if I’ve learnt anything from this Reddit forum, it’s that you can’t identify the bug from the bite!). the manager had responded to this review in a calm manner which put me at ease, plus a lot can change in 15 years

i suppose I’m looking more for a way to prevent the bed bug anxiety, I’d like to enjoy the holiday without my brain going wild looking for signs of bugs the entire time. I do have some passive monitors so feel able to monitor when I’m back, but I live in a shared house which makes this a little more complex

context:this is my first holiday since mistaking some bugs in my house for bed bugs last year. I’d never worried about them before that, but the anxiety in that 2 week period was so intense that I’d love to just enjoy my holiday rather than having a repeat of that!!

for 3 years I was in a relationship with someone who I’m pretty sure was a narcissist. But I’m really struggling to know if a) this was actually the case or if I’m doubting myself and b) how the hell to form a normal relationship now I’m free! some of the things they did include:

• making events about himself (didn’t congratulate me when I graduated, made the day about him, would be “ill” on my birthday or Christmas)
• similarly would be “ill“ if he didn’t want to do something that I wanted to do
• regularly told me the music or films I liked were rubbish, told me there was no point in reading as it was basically the same as watching a tv show, so we’d watch and listen to what he wanted
• repeatedly made me feel guilty about not wanting to have s*x
• Would interrupt me mid conversation to change the topic of conversation
• would use past trauma as an excuse to get his own way and shout at me if I wasn’t immediately sympathetic
• used to constantly guilt trip me for not spending the maximum amount of time possible with him and as a result I missed out on things I would have wanted to do

so! the question I guess is- what resources are there out there to help people who have been in this situation, now I’m dating someone I really like but I feel a bit panicky and flighty, like I might get trapped in a box again and lose access to all of the wonderful things I enjoy now that I’m free and not losing time to a loser.