u/lvrsukuna

For context, they had issued at home to i accepted for them to move into my house (22m2 studio in france). they never pay for rent, groceries or even the house utilities. they’ve been living with me since february for free basically. i did not mind, even when i was not paid yet and they used the money they had for dumb things, not even food or if it was it was for themselves.

Now, i gave birth two weeks ago, they decided to move back to their family house because “it was too much” and now they are asking me the money that they give ONCE to pay half of the rent since FEBRUARY!

I am already losing my mind because it was a stealth pregnancy and i had no idea until i was at the hospital! I’m scared and alone and the only person i thought was my friend is now asking me for money to go and live the same way they lived with me with a person they barely know!

That’s selfish right? Can i be selfish too and say no? also, i did not work the full month, i won’t even have enough to pay rent this month and they know it but the only thing they care about is the money they willingly gave to pay rent in a place they lived too??

am i crazy? please i need advice i dont know what to do and they keep spamming me with messages.

I’m 22 and my best friend is 20. I moved out at 17 and have lived alone ever since. I’m very introverted and need a lot of quiet time. My home has always been my safe space, especially because I grew up in a toxic family where I was basically parenting everyone else.

My friend also comes from a toxic family, so I let them move into my small studio apartment. The problem is that living together has made me feel like I’m back in that old dynamic. I’m the only one working. If I don’t cook, clean, or organize things, they don’t get done.

Before moving in, they promised they understood my need for space. Instead, I haven’t had a single quiet day since. They’re constantly talking to me and wanting my attention. I’ve told them I need more space or I’ll start resenting them, but they respond by asking how they are supposed to feel when I don’t want to listen.

I leave for work around 9 a.m. and often don’t get home until 1 a.m., yet I still can’t relax in peace.
To be fair, when they first moved in I was unemployed for about two months, and they helped with groceries and some expenses. That’s part of why I feel guilty.

The original plan was for them to move to London, but that didn’t happen. Then we talked about moving abroad together, except I’m the only one saving money because I’m the only one working.

Update:
I recently gave birth, and now they suddenly want to leave. They’ve been living with me rent-free since February and are now asking me to repay the money they spent helping me while I was unemployed so they can move out.
They want to move to Germany with someone they met through online acting classes and have only known in person for a week.
I’ve also been in the hospital, and while I was there they had this near-stranger staying in my apartment.
After six years of friendship, the first thing they asked when I told them I’d given birth was, “Are you keeping it? I’m not ready.”
The baby was already born.

Am I the asshole?

For context, I am 22 and my best friend is 20. I moved out of my house when i was 17 and lived alone since. I am a very quiet person and i hate being surrounded by people all the time, no matter who you are i will need my alone time. I don’t talk a lot, i don’t go out a lot and i hate to be talked after work.

I come from a very toxic family, i found myself being the parents of my siblings and my parents too so you can imagine my happiness in having my own place away from all the traumas and triggers.

Now, this friends of mine, their family is toxic too so i understand some of their struggles but at the same time, since they moved into MY house (mind you only i work, if i don’t cook, they won’t eat, if i don’t clean the house, it won’t be cleaned and so more) i found myself mentally back in my toxic home with my parents and i hate that.

They are an aspiring actor, i don’t know much about actors but i found myself multiple times having to stay in the bathroom for hours because “they feel weird if they do it and im in the room).

I forgot that i have a 22m2 studio apartment.

When I accepted for them to move in, they swore they could be able to accept my silent days because “they need it too”.

I have not had a silent day since. I’m always talking, always doing stuff. My own house who was my safe place now is not that anymore because there’s always someone that’s can’t leave me alone in it.

I’ve said multiple times that’s they need to stop talking to me so much because if it keeps going on i will resent them and they were like “but have you thought about how i feel when you don’t want to listen to me..”

Please PLEASE tell me if i am over sensitive or something like that because i am truly hoping crazy.

I leave my house at 9 am for work and i am not back until 1 am and i still can’t rest in peace and quiet at home because they keep TALKING TO ME.

“do you wanna watch this”

“look at this”

*30 mins of only them talking and me going “mh, yea, mh”* non fucking stop.

“let’s watch this serie, i liked it so you have to watch if too”

Also, I’d like to add that when they first moved in i did not face a job so they took care of some things (groceries, i am behind rent because i did not have a job in that moment) so i feel bad about feeling this way.

Am i the asshole ??