WIBTA for skipping my close friend’s study-abroad farewell party after she cancelled on my birthday dinner at the last minute?
hi everyone, i’m after a bit of perspective on a situation with my close mate (22f) before i make up my mind.
for context, we’ve been really close friends for over seven years, and i certainly don't hate her or hold a massive grudge.
a few weeks ago, it was my birthday. i spent three weeks planning a dinner for our group. everyone confirmed well in advance, and i even sent a reminder the day before, which everyone confirmed again. however, on the actual day, literally two hours before we were supposed to meet, more than half of the guests cancelled one by one. the friend who’s leaving for her semester abroad messaged me saying: "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry, my parents said i could go at first, but now they won't let me."
fast forward to this week: she is leaving to study abroad for a semester and is having a farewell party this weekend.
the thing is, i have a university midterm next wednesday that i urgently need to study for this weekend. normally, for a friend of seven years, i would have made the extra effort, managed my time, and gone to her party anyway. but after that last-minute cancellation on my birthday, it really changed my perspective on how much effort i should be putting in.
i haven't told her whether i'm going or not yet. would i be the asshole if i choose not to go and just focus on studying, or is it fair enough given what happened?