u/mde3919

I was an avid fresher for several years, but eventually canceled.

I decided to take advantage of a sign up deal but shortly after subscribing, I changed my mind.

The meal selection cut off was July 2nd. On July 1st, I successfully canceled and deleted my account. No clue why but HelloFresh charged my credit card yesterday and they’re refusing a refund because my “box was already discounted” and they’re allowed to process box orders AFTER cancellation.

What a scam.

We’ve been together for about nine months. Because we’re long distance, communication is basically all we have. We haven’t seen each other in person since mid-March. We haven’t had sex since the end of February. We don’t FaceTime. We talk on the phone, and that has always been our thing. I genuinely don’t think we’ve ever gone a full day without talking on the phone.

Until today.

This morning, I texted him good morning. He responded. I asked him a question and he just ignored it. Then around noon, he tells me something really scary happened near him. I immediately check on him, ask if he’s okay, ask if I can call him, and he basically says he doesn’t really want to talk. Fine. I respect that. I’m not going to force someone to talk after something traumatic.

Later, when I got out of class, I called him. He didn’t answer. And then nothing. No text. No call back. No “hey, I’m okay, I just can’t talk tonight.” No “I’m not mad at you.” No “I love you, I’ll call tomorrow.” Nothing.

But he was active online. Posting. Commenting. Arguing with strangers on the internet about what happened.

So now I’m sitting here at 1 a.m., hurt and furious, because apparently he had the energy to argue with random people online, but not enough energy to send one text to the person who was worried about him all day.

And I know people cope differently. I know trauma is weird. I know not everyone wants to talk when something bad happens. I am not mad that he didn’t want to process it with me. I’m mad that he left me completely hanging and acted like it didn’t matter that we went a whole day without talking for the first time in our entire relationship.

It just feels like when I’m upset, he’s my safe place. He’s the person I want to call. Even if we sit in silence, I want him there. But when something happens to him, he pushes me away. And maybe that’s just how he copes, but it makes me feel like I’m not actually his person.

And honestly, this isn’t just about tonight. It’s making me look at everything. We’re long distance. We don’t see each other. We don’t have physical intimacy. We don’t FaceTime. So if communication falls apart, what do we even have?

I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m trying to be reasonable and understanding while also feeling completely unchosen.

I don’t even know if I want advice. I think I just needed to say it somewhere because I feel insane, and I’m tired of pretending this doesn’t hurt as much as it does.

34F/35M, Is asking for a concrete moving timeline reasonable or am I pushing too hard?

I’m 34F and my boyfriend is 35M. We’ve been together a little over 13 months and we’re long-distance.

When we first met, I honestly thought it was going to be a one-time thing. He made it clear he wanted to keep seeing me, and I told him very early on that I don’t really do long distance and I can’t do it indefinitely. His response at the time was basically, if we get serious, then someone will have to move.

Due to reasons I can’t fully share, I cannot be the one to move right now. He knows this. If I moved, it couldn’t happen until May of next year at the earliest. He is currently the only one who is realistically capable of moving sooner.

We’ve continued getting more serious and we talk about marriage, kids, the future, etc. Back in December, during the same conversation where we first said “I love you,” he brought up engagement timing. I understood that conversation as him saying his intention was ideally to be engaged by the end of this year. I have had that in my head since then.

Recently, I checked in and asked if we were still on the same page. He said he didn’t remember saying it and said he would want us to live together first before engagement.

That really hurt. Not because I think living together first is unreasonable, but because there also wasn’t an actual plan for us to live together. For context, I have brought it up consistently that we need to make a plan as I can’t do the distance much longer. So it felt like engagement was now behind a door that also wasn’t open.

After that conversation, I felt like I got a lot of clarity. We have a lot of love for each other, but not a lot of actual action. I called him back later genuinely thinking I was going to end the relationship, not because I don’t love him, but because I can’t do long distance forever with no concrete path forward.

I basically told him that I love him, I see a future with him, but I can’t do this indefinitely and I need some kind of end in sight. He said it hasn’t been because he doesn’t want to move, but that he needs to get some things in order where he lives. He then said he could move by August at the latest.

So now I’m conflicted. Part of me is relieved because August is a real timeline and not that far away. But another part of me feels unsettled that it took a near-breakup conversation to get a concrete answer.

I don’t want to force someone to move for me. I don’t want him to feel trapped. I also don’t want to stay in long-distance limbo just because we love each other.

Does this sound like a reasonable relationship reality check, or does it sound like I’m having to push too hard for forward movement?