u/meowmeow_6719

Hey, so my parents have not allowed me to have my phone at night since I was 12. The reason they stopped was because as an immature and sad 12 year old I went on the internet and chatted with random people who ended up grooming me and accessing a lot of personal information. It is 100% understandable to me why they took away all of my technology at that age, I really should have not had it in the first place. However, ever since then, my mom has been extremely on me, and made me feel guilty every single time i grab my phone from her room. I have coped for my entire teenage hood, however I am now 18, about to start college and go into the real world. I am still not allowed to have my phone at night, and I do not have a laptop for school or anything. My mom claims she is heavily anti-phone, and a few months ago my dad gifted me an iPad because I’m an aspiring design and music student so I need my software, and she was very…. stressed. She to this day accuses me of using my iPad at night, but it is always in front of a camera in the upstairs area (which was installed to monitor my usage of technology by the way) and I really barley ever use it. I’m old enough now to know the dangers of the internet and how to be safe, but like… I personally feel i’m too old for my mom to be so anti-phone. I’ve been getting so bored at night and have always had trouble falling asleep on my own without some form of mental stimulation. Also, my sister is in her 20s and living at home, and she has always been allowed to have her laptop and phone with her in her room, this is just a me thing.

So i’m hoping once i’m at least 20 she’ll let off me, and Im hoping if i do end up temporarily moving out for college she’ll be less stressed after I show her that i’m responsible and mature now (at least more than I was when I was 12), however I’m still concerned. I am an incoming Graphic Design student, so I genuinely do need a laptop for my designs, but she doesn’t even want to think about it. Also, I have never been allowed to have social media despite everyone else in my family having it, and i’m planning to tell her that i need to get instagram after grad (which is in 2 weeks) because as a design student and musical artist i need it for connections, but I have a feeling she’s going to say no…..

What do yall think? FYI my dad is super chill and has no problem with me and technology because he trusts me, but it’s my mom that run the rules here.

i’m so done. i’m 2 weeks away from grad, submitted all my finals exemptions today, and i feel like absolute SHIT and i have a fever and my dad got an email from my councilor saying that she’s worried about my ap grades because im failing environmental and macroeconomics and econ is a credit i need to graduate. like i know im gonna pass them by next week, but its still so exhausting. and on top of ts, i have to retake the sat this weekend and score well so that my top choice school can reconsider their rejection but i dont even know if i can score well anymore because my brain physically cannot focus.

i dunno gang. i have sm shit to do but i am physically and mentally incapable of thinking. i thought junior year would be the worst year, but honestly looking back it was a breeze compared to this.

and it’s not like im the only one like i have masterminds in my macro that are failing rn too 😭 our teacher is not it and im just done wtf do i do gang