u/messianicmanix

I currently am planning on working in IT, and I'm happy with doing that for a decade or so, but the idea of doing it every. Single. Day. Until retirement fills me with dread and sadness.

I either had IT or becoming a doctor or some sort of mental health professional in mind. I gave myself a few years to decide and I decided I wanted to help and heal people.

Right now I don't have much to lose except my parents, sanity, and a relationship I'm not overly attached to anymore. I have no social life and barely any friends.

I currently plan on going to school soon to start my journey. I find research and the process fascinating. I love reading studies about random stuff and I want to help solve questions to problems humans have and being a therapist or social worker seems decent, but underwhelming.

I know it's horribly stressful and takes a long time, but I can't imagine anything else really filling that hole I have.

I've always felt this way. I feel like I have a keylogger, I feel like everything I do is being tracked and seen. I know to a certain extent that's true due to Big Brother tech companies and everything everyone does is probably being fed to an AI.

It's just a feeling of constantly being watched by people I know. I remember when I was younger I did a lot to make my devices google-free and wouldn't use social media and it did help a bit. Now I actually have friends so I have to be normal and not wrap my devices in aluminium foil

I keep telling myself that I'm not that important and blah blah blah but it feels incredibly real.