u/midicarus

Job hunting has been killing me for the last few months, i honestly had slacked a bit too long due to stress since i got clocked by a customer on my last day at my previous job, and im not exactly in the best area. I think i finally found somewhere at least somewhat decent, and i have a good shot of getting the role but im really not looking forward to losing time to myself and spending my days alone again. Plus ive had a lot of shitty memories flooding back and i havent really had a chance to talk to anyone about it. Im hoping it will work out and get easier someday, but it feels like so much at the moment.

I wasnt really able to connect with anyone, some people complimented my outfit, but nothing happened beyond that. Idk i guess im just too introverted and unapproachable. The only friend i really have at the moment was spending time with her gf so i was alone for most of it. Ended up leaving early since i wasnt feeling well and the weather wasnt great. I kinda just wish i had been able to get something more out of it.

I made a post a few weeks back about how ive been feeling touch starved since starting hrt.

A few days ago my friend invited me to vist her place and we cuddled while watching a horror movie! I got to snuggle into her chest and listen to her heartbeat while holding hands and when it was over she layed her head on my lap and asked what i thought about the movie!

Shes genuinely the sweetest person ive met in my life.

Also while i was getting ready to leave she said she wanted to introduce me to one of her friends who she described as "sweet like you are" aaaaaaaaaa!

Im kinda tired and sick right now, sorry if my phrasings a bit off or if im accidently breaking any rules.

I started hrt around the start of the year, and while its been great, ive started to feel much more emotional and needy. Like i cant go more than a few days without crying lol.

I was recently able to meet up with a friend who i hadnt seen in forever. We hugged a lot, and it was the first time i had been hugged in a long time. While It was great seeing her again, it also made me realize that ive been extremely touch starved.

Im at the point where listening to f4f asmr while hugging a pillow isnt enough anymore, but i dont want to bother anyone or be too clingy. Any advice on how to deal with this?