u/midnightmoonfey

Firstly- I’m NOT suggesting you get a dog during IVF but personally for me, it was the best thing I ever could’ve done.

Background- 4 years fertility of struggles/losses leading to starting IVF this year. I have DOR, my husband’s sperm is good except for bad morphology. Our first cycle we didn’t make it to the egg retrieval because I was a poor responder to the med protocol so they converted me to IUI half way through the stim cycle and that failed (expectedly). The two week wait was terrible because of the progesterone and made my mental health plumet (and I mean BAD). It got much better after getting off progesterone. My doctor also then said if this next med protocol doesn’t work out then I’m likely not a candidate for IVF (send good juju for a successful response this time please!!)

Okay so we were in between cycles 1 & 2 and I had been volunteering at an animal shelter to walk dogs once a week before work. I grew up with dogs and our last elderly cat passed about a year and a half ago and I just needed animals in my life but we weren’t sure if we wanted to adopt a pet yet with IVF and all. Well this dog just captured my heart and i just fell in love at first sight. We were toying with getting a cat or a dog because the house was just so empty and our dynamic from IVF has just been not awesome. Of course my husband and I love each other but it’s been so hard and increasingly harder to keep things light together. Long story short my husband said I could bring the dog home as a foster and that lasted 2 hours because we knew this was our dog.

It’s hard adjusting to a new pet but man is it worth it. I’m 4 days into cycle two with a new heavy duty med protocol and we’ve had our dog for a month now. It’s always a little tough adjusting with a new pet but im just so happy. I have purpose again and lots and lots of unconditional love and cuddles (&play!!). I’m submitting to this IVF journey in the way that I wish I could’ve previously and it’s because of this godsend of a dog. I love having a happy little buddy and he’s just increased the happy energy of the home in a way that I am just so endlessly grateful for.

I really want this IVF plan to work out and it’s just so hard to grieve the life that you wanted or that you hope to have and don’t know if you’ll be able to have it. But this sweet pup has opened my eyes up to starting to accept alternative options if IVF doesn’t work for us for the first time. He’s helping me realize there’s a life outside of this journey waiting for me no matter what the outcome is. This dog is just so resilient and gives me strength to find joy even in grief.

I’m not sure what the future holds but in a time when it’s really hard to live in the moment because it’s so painful, this dog has helped me to actually start enjoying the moment for the first time in a very very long time.

Anyway, long rant but if you’re struggling I suggest spending time with animals because they’re awesome. Sending all of my well wishes and good luck to everyone here!!

Take care ✨🐾

My husband and I were great friends before dating pretty young and have been together a long time. He’s really my best friend- I mean, we have our own friends and I love my friends too, but he’s just my person. We’ve had a rough few years from deaths in the family, illnesses, other family issues but we’ve been hanging in there and doing all right for the most part. Felt like our relationship was really strong when we decided to go into IVF. But man! IVF just takes a toll. It is unfortunately very one-sided for the person having to go through the egg, retrievals/hormones and as that person in this relationship, I’m having a hard time not feeling resentment. Especially with these hormones and feeling like I’m completely losing myself (not even getting into our nonexistent sex life now). I guess I just really miss our relationship and what it was like before IVF.

Does anyone feel this too? Does anyone have advice or sound ways to help with this?

I recently (<2 weeks ago) rescued an about 1 year old mixed breed about 23 pound dog that we think is a mix of a few things, some guesses are sheltie/whippet- we don’t really know yet! He was reportedly abandoned in the woods last month and we got him from a shelter. He was in the shelter for less than a week before I got him. So it’s been a wild few months for the pup.

He is very very sweet in demeanor- loves kids, animals, all people and just a goofy, gentle soul, very happy and outgoing but can be cautious and timid at times likely due to his past. Surprisingly well adjusted considering his past. I only need gentle redirections if he pulls on the leash (which he does so lightly if/when he does). Doing great so far.

We started going to obedience school and I am thinking about changing programs. It was a 6 week course, one day/week. The orientation course was literally them just assessing to make sure the dogs aren’t violent and then they told us what equipment to buy, didn’t give us any advice and that was that. This week (which I guess is considered the actual first class) we skipped over basics (name/sit) and went straight into recall (which whatever I’ve been trying to practice sit and name at home which he’s getting it but I thought that was weird since the orientation said we’d work on that. Today at our first class (group class), the trainer (who was apparently filling in for the typical trainer) used my dog as an example of teaching “wait” for the first time and popped the leash so hard (martingale collar) that his front paws came up and he began shaking and his tail tucked for a lot of the time after (I’ve never seen him afraid even close to this extent before and we’ve taken him a lot of places to expose him to different environments). By the end of the class he seemed to shake it off mostly but whenever the trainer talked to my dog he gave her full attention and was very stiff & nervous.

I get it - it was effective - but I don’t want my dog to be terrified of me or anyone helping care for him. He responds SO well to me saying “eh eh” firmly to correct him and immediately stops whatever it was that I want him to stop (I know he’s very good so far- we’ll see in a few months as he gets more comfortable and starts testing more). They also brought daycare dogs out from the kennel area and for both demonstrations seemed to have a tough time with their example dogs.. why bring them out as examples? Idk weird. I know my dog is and will be fine after that over correction but it makes me really second guess this facility.

I understand aversive training methods are helpful for some dogs but I do think it should be an individualized approach. My dog is so well behaved so far and I know it takes about 3 months for their real personalities to come out after being rescued but he’s really just a chill sweet dog. I don’t want to ruin that by the wrong training approach for his personality and past. I just want to increase our understanding of each other, make sure he knows I am in charge, and I also want him to feel confident and competent. I also want to make sure I’m being consistent/confident with him which is also why I took up formal training classes.

Am I over reacting? I feel the faculty is probably great if the dog is a complete wild child but I feel like my dog is too sweet and sensitive for this type of training place. They had great reviews but I am just learning about all the different training methods and didn’t really understand what type of facility it was I guess.

This is the first time I’ve had a dog in a while and every dog is different so I just want to set him up for success and not add to his trauma. Advice is welcome! Thanks!

** Edit: We cancelled the rest of these training classes after talking about it, getting more advice, and going with our gut. We are newer to having dogs so any additional advice or suggestions are welcome! Thanks!

My husband jokingly shaved his 5 o’clock shadow into a mustache and showed me (he’s normally clean shaven) and I was like KEEP IT!!! I never liked mustaches before but I’m realizing I wouldn’t mind calling my husband Marlboro man and (inappropriate warning incoming!!) taking that mustache for a ride. Anyway, I love Ted Lasso and apparently I also like mustaches as a result now- who would’ve thought?

P.S. no my husband did not keep the mustache…. Yet!!!

Has anyone had a pregnancy without progesterone and also have taken progesterone suppositories during IVF two week wait/pregnancy?

I’ve emotionally struggled with progesterone suppositories 400mg daily after failed IVF cycle turned into an IUI. People who have had typical pregnancies without IVF or any hormones, have said to me during my two week wait while I’m on progesterone “oh just wait- when your pregnant it’s so much worse than the symptoms of just progesterone” and it’s always someone who’s never taken progesterone or gone through IVF. Anyway, I just want advice/opinions from people who ACTUALLY have been through it.

**EDIT: I am now wondering if it's just the progesterone that I was struggling with or the post-trigger shot/post-ovulation because it was a very emotional 9days (11 from trigger shot date) and after that it got a lot better emotionally for me seemingly out of nowhere. (also this cycle failed-had bloodwork today but started bleeding last night- I'm curious when a cycle sticks if it will be different emotionally just from different hormones? IDK.. maybe this is a good indication of what I might feel like when I have an egg retrieval.) Thanks again for sharing your thoughts/experiences! What a ride.

Hi all. I've been rewatching Ted Lasso (amazing during this IVF process)- and there's a quote from Ted that I felt really resonated with the IVF process. The constant swings between hope and disappointment can be emotionally exhausting, and I’ve found myself struggling with how to stay hopeful while also trying to protect my heart. Balancing those two things can feel incredibly hard. I don’t think hope makes this process easier, but sometimes it helps me keep going, even on the hardest days. Just wanted to share in case anyone else needed the reminder today:

"So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. "It's the hope that kills you." Y'all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief. Now, where I'm from, we got a saying too, yeah? A question, actually. "Do you believe in miracles?" Now, I don't need y'all to answer that question for me... but I do want you to answer that question for yourselves. Right now. Do you believe in miracles?" - Ted Lasso

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I received not great news about my ER first cycle this week. Instead of cancelling the ER all together the doctor recommended we take a leap of faith and try IUI since I responded so minimally to the stim medications that an ER statistically would not be successful. If IUI doesn't work, we will try a different medication protocol to hopefully better address my DOR. So it's nice to have some backup plans when things don't work out. Anyway- just really loved this Ted Lasso message. I do believe in miracles. Sending well wishes and many miracles to everyone!

Hi all. I've been rewatching Ted Lasso (amazing during this process)- and there's a quote from Ted that I felt really resonated with the IVF process. The constant swings between hope and disappointment can be emotionally exhausting, and I’ve found myself struggling with how to stay hopeful while also trying to protect my heart. Balancing those two things can feel incredibly hard. I don’t think hope makes this process easier, but sometimes it helps me keep going, even on the hardest days. Just wanted to share in case anyone else needed the reminder today:

"So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. "It's the hope that kills you." Y'all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief. Now, where I'm from, we got a saying too, yeah? A question, actually. "Do you believe in miracles?" Now, I don't need y'all to answer that question for me... but I do want you to answer that question for yourselves. Right now. Do you believe in miracles?" - Ted Lasso

--

I received not great news about my ER first cycle this week. Instead of cancelling the ER all together the doctor recommended we take a leap of faith and try IUI since I responded so minimally to the stim medications that an ER statistically would not be successful. If IUI doesn't work, we will try a different medication protocol to hopefully better address my DOR. So it's nice to have some backup plans when things don't work out. Anyway- just really loved this Ted Lasso message. I do believe in miracles. Sending well wishes and many miracles to everyone!

Hi all. I've been rewatching Ted Lasso (amazing during this process)- and there's a quote from Ted that I felt really resonated with the IVF process. The constant swings between hope and disappointment can be emotionally exhausting, and I’ve found myself struggling with how to stay hopeful while also trying to protect my heart. Balancing those two things can feel incredibly hard. I don’t think hope makes this process easier, but sometimes it helps me keep going, even on the hardest days. Just wanted to share in case anyone else needed the reminder today:

"So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. "It's the hope that kills you." Y'all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief. Now, where I'm from, we got a saying too, yeah? A question, actually. "Do you believe in miracles?" Now, I don't need y'all to answer that question for me... but I do want you to answer that question for yourselves. Right now. Do you believe in miracles?" - Ted Lasso

I’ve been on a 4 year (natural) fertility journey and about 6 months ago we started to realize IVF was in our future and so I started following these types of IVF subs. About 5 years ago I had almost 6 months of Lyme disease treatment that sent me on a meandering holistic wellness journey. I think the treatment messed with my egg reserve and perhaps 6 years of a very stressful/taxing nursing job.

I’m 34, AMH of 0.5, only one tube left (prior ectopic) and back in February they saw only 5 follicles between the two ovaries during the clinic intake testing.

Now: I am on day 6 of my first stim cycle. Yesterday at my first cycle monitoring they saw 7 follicles! I know it’s not a lot in comparison but I was happy that it increased and I’m responding to the stim medication. After the first time doing shots it has gotten easier each time. I’ve been doing the shots in my late father’s rocking chair in the room that will become the nursery.

This journey has been a mindset game for me. Sob in the shower sometimes? Absolutely. Sometimes I set a 15 minute timer, let myself fully let it out and when that timer goes off, I wipe my face (maybe even splash my face with water), put my big girl pants on, name 5 things I’m grateful for, and move forward with the day. Allowing myself to have moments of grief for the journey I wanted to have but also encouraging a positive-gratitude based mindset when I can! 50 years ago they didn’t have IVF!! How cool is it that I get to go on this scientific journey in hopes of having children with my wonderful husband. I’m feeling deep gratitude for this opportunity despite its challenges. I’m trying to let myself have the pity party while also making sure I’m remembering to have the gratitude party to balance things out lol it works for me!

Sending you all my best wishes for your journey- my DMs are always open!

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MY PROTOCOL:

What I am personally doing below (might not be right for you but works for me after seeing a naturopathic doctor and herbalist for my specific situation):

Stim meds so far (I have another cycle monitoring appointment tomorrow - day 7- so it may change):

Supplements I’m taking:

1. Seeking health prenatal essentials
2. Microbiome labs pregnancy support probiotic
3. Thorne phosphatidyl choline
4. Seeking health CoQ
5. Thorne NAC
6. Once or twice a week away from other supplements & food, I take Thorne Iron bisglycinate

I switched from a full cup of coffee in the AM to 1/2 cup & only after eating (or sometimes just green tea)

Fertility supporting tea I like to make:

Daily batch of:
1 part nettle leaf
1 part dried oat straw
1/2 part marshmallow root
1/4 part licorice root

Sometimes I’ll do a little slippery elm or raspberry leaf with a nub of ginger.

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I stopped doing intense exercise and have stuck with body squats, or arm exercises with no weights and no twisting movements and lots of walking when I feel good and resting when I don’t.

I try to drink a lot of water (85-110oz a day), sometimes with some ATH lytes electrolytes (cleanest brand I’ve been able to find- open to suggestions!!) and I will also have a little bottled beet root juice and/or pomegranate juice here and there.

I’ve set boundaries with social media and anything that I’ve noticed that takes from my cup more than fills it (certain stressful TV shows or content or even social situations, etc). I started rewatching Ted Lasso (such a great feel good show) and I’m not a video gamer at all but my husband set me up with “Hogwarts legacy” LOL and when I feel not physically well enough to do anything it’s been a great distraction even though I’m garbage at video games. I’m normally a reader but in a reading slump other than casually reading: “The Herbal Fertility Handbook” by Liane Moccia. Great read if you’re into herbalism at all! I’m open to any other book suggestions if anyone has some good ones that aren’t depressing lol

I changed my job back in February and started doing remote contract work (what a difference!). It was very hard for me to change jobs for less money but it offers more flexibility a way less stress and is physically safer (hello budget spreadsheets!). My husband was not only in full support but encouraged this because of how dangerous and stressful my previous job was. Now that I’m months into my new job, it was the right decision. And it’ll be better for when we have kids so that’s good too.

I always try to keep my feet warm (socks, slippers, etc) but also try to touch grass everyday lol

I got a cheap sunrise alarm clock. I started putting my phone in the bathroom at night and have been struggling but trying to stay off my phone for the hour before bed and hour after waking up. I’ve been trying to opt for a quick morning walk after breakfast if the weather is ok.

I changed a lot of my beauty products to: attitude or the honest shampoo/conditioner, jojoba oil for skin, DIME skincare, honest facewash, primally pure or booda butter deordorant, Evolvh hair products, makeup: well people eye shadow, tarte mascara, ogee foundation, crunchi face sunscreen. I’m always open to suggestions!!

Anywho- thanks for reading my novel if you’ve made it this far. I love hearing what other people do and figured I’d share my situation. There’s much more that goes into all of this but I figured I’ve written enough for now!

Again- best of luck everyone & thanks for reading!