u/mikainlimbo

Yeah, so my best bro (18) and I (17) we often just walk around or go random places by bike at night to just talk about our problems and life, and I finally brought up the courage to tell him why my "situation" about my crush has been so complicated and difficult. I’d talked with him about my crush before but he always assumed they’re a girl. I seem really straight. I just told him it’s so difficult because my crush is not a girl. After that he asked indirectly if I’m bi or just gay. I’m bi. I think I could only do it because we were walking outside at like 2am and it was really dark so I didn’t have to look at him or anything. He said he was surprised at first but it’s okay and makes sense if he thinks about it. He sometimes made a few homophobic comments before and asked me about it but I can understand it the way he means it sometimes, sounds bad but is really harmless. After all, I knew that he’s good enough of a person to accept it. I don’t really know how to feel since he’s the only person who knows now and it makes me feel a lot different now. I think it affects me more than him and I don’t know if it was really necessary or if I’d want to go back. But he’s really been treating me well about it and hope he doesn’t see me differently now. He even tried guessing my crush and everything. I can’t even realize it for now, I’ll have to adjust. Even yesterday morning I could have never imagined that I would tell anyone. It just felt weird that he always talked about his problems and I just said „it’s difficult, I feel bad etc“.

I have a really intense crush on a boy from school with whom I share a few classes. I’m like REALLY in love with him to the point that I feel like I can’t take it anymore without him knowing. I sit next to him in one class and we sometimes casually talk about school stuff. He does a few things that sometimes make me feel (or wish) that he might be bi or gay but of course I can’t trust that. I’m just helpless and this has been going on for months. I’m too much of a coward to just tell him (also since I’m not out to literally anyone I know irl I’m afraid what might happen if that information gets leaked)
What do I do? Any advice or experiences highly appreciated. Or ask me things about it idk I’m lost

Sorry in advance for this wall of text but idk what to do 😭

So I’m in this new situation that’s freaking me out and making me feel things I’ve never felt before: I (17M) have a crazy crush on a guy from my grade (17? M) who I’m sitting next to in one class but who’s also in other courses that I take. Like I’m literally crazily in love with this guy. I think that the majority of people wouldn’t think that I’m gay or bi (I don’t even know) at all but there might be little signs for people who pay attention to stuff like that (really depends on who I’m with). I’ve never really had a crush on anyone before, not even on him for the last year since he’s at my school. But it changed really rapidly around Christmas and now sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore not telling him somehow. He’s in the city’s top sport team of our age group (not saying which sport for privacy) and he moved here to my city for that reason. (My city is rather small but known for the sport) He lives in a kind of shared apartment with other players in his situation and their coach with his wife. He’s really different than the other players in my grade who I’ve known for years. He’s seems really empathetic and calm and doesn’t try to seem extremely cool or nonchalant or anything like that. I think sometimes he even looks rather sad or drifting off when he’s waiting somewhere. He’s intelligent and extremely good looking in my opinion and everything he says seems so natural idk how to describe it. He also seems straight like me but there’s little signs (I know these are not guarantees but it still seems rare and special) that make me want to believe he’s not like he has an extremely neat handwriting, an almost girly iPad handwritten calendar and while talking he also gives me certain „vibes“ I can’t really explain. Neither one of us is really popular or anything, I have a few good friends who are rather on the „weird people side“ of the grade but I also feel like the rest of the people also likes me and I sometimes talk with them too. He’s really ignored by many people (not in a mean sense) and he sometimes waits alone somewhere since he hasn’t been here forever like the rest of us. But many nice people in our classes already integrated him and are talking with him in school. Maybe I should’ve had more courage and be there for him more so he’s not as alone but idk I’m just shy. We two don’t talk much except about school stuff before class maybe. I see him in the one class I sit next to him and before another class I share with him we are always all waiting in the corridor and he stands a bit behind the group so I feel like I could talk to him but idk what. I’ve already tried talking more with him / greeting him and like smiling when I see him before class but most of the times I’m too nervous for even that. I noticed that I even changed myself a bit subconsciously like my handwriting is like completely different and the whole thing made me watch Heartstopper even though I never really liked „really gay“ shows and stuff like that before (ik it makes no sense because that’s literally what I am). I also used a wallpaper with the Heartstopper leaves for some time idk if he might have seen it or not. He also sat next to me in the break room on a two seat sofa a couple of times but that is probably just because he wanted to sit and we usually do that. He also texted me for the stuff we did in the lesson that he missed once which made me feel like he apparently finds it pleasant talking with me because he could literally have asked anyone else. I fear that by trying to be perfect when he’s around I’m actually not being myself / natural enough. I have no idea what to do and my feelings are overwhelming me. Sometimes it’s less and sometimes it’s worse. I’d appreciate any advice / own experiences or literally ANYTHING you have to say 😭

This is a thought that came onto my mind because when someone says „bi-curious“, they usually mean straight but open to experiment with same gender people. But would you also call someone bi-curious if they are homosexual but also open to trying things with a person of the opposite gender?