Went to check the weather, and this article came up. Men (even just male friends, article mentions a few instances) leaving women by themselves when they're not doing well on a hike. So... only female hiking buddies from now on? What's worse is I've had several friends tell me their husbands are like this on hikes.
I value both of these things, and although I've been in a few communities or groups in person in the last few years, I find 1:1 friendships really lacking. Most people I've met seem to want to do what the group we're in is doing, or they're joining even more groups. Are 1:1 friendships going out of style? This makes me sad because I don't feel okay sharing everything about myself with a group of people and would rather have a close friendship. Looking for other's thoughts. It's definitely not for lack of trying, or length of time in trying.
A friend ended our friendship in the last year. They are consumed by their toxic relationship, maybe even enjoying being a part of the toxicity. When I've said how I've felt about certain things my friend has done in our friendship, I didn't receive a true apology at all and they completely dismissed my feelings. They also hate on family members who obviously have a bigger burden to carry than they do. I never realized how selfish a lot of it seems until recently. So, my advice is sometimes a loss is a good thing. Don't let familiarity be a reason to try to keep people in your life. People can change for the worst, or you finally see the real them.
Whether from a big job loss, major health issues interrupting your life where you could not get disability (or enough money) because it wasn't "bad enough", or a divorce where you never really worked because you weren't allowed or able to...please tell me what you did to reinvent yourself, what field you felt was worth going into for you, where you found opportunity and support, how you kept going, and how you stayed financially stable.
Does anyone else feel like crying every time they have to drive somewhere just because they have to see roadkill? It ruins my entire day. Animals are so helpless. Some instances are unavoidable, I get that, but seeing it daily breaks my heart.
I've been in a few relationships over time, and I always got the feeling it wasn't for me. I felt like I lowered myself, and wasn't with someone that felt like a friend. I've spent a lot of years alone, too. I also try to surround myself with women most of the time so I avoid the awkwardness of men. That said, I HAVE had some good male friends in the decades I've been alive and a current best friend of mine is a man, too, although he lives elsewhere. We talk daily.
That said, I get major ICK or feel incredibly awkward if I meet someone and in the same span of time they ask me out on a date or to dinner. This is not something that happens often, and I'm never expecting it to happen because I'm not looking for it to happen. I also really don't feel I need to be validated by a man in any way. When reflecting upon the male friendships I have had, our friendships never started with a date or going out to dinner. I feel like when someone asks you on a date that "vibe" is already put out there and I can't see that person as someone being my friend because they have an interest in being more already and I'm going to remember that.
My female friends who do date tell me they'd feel flattered by someone asking them on a date randomly, or they like the attention. I seem to be the opposite as unwanted attention makes me want to find a cave and just go isolate, but any time it does happen that someone asks me, I freeze up instead of responding with "Sorry, I'm not interested". I guess I don't have enough practice because again - it doesn't happen often, but I had it happen recently and reflected on how I've felt awkward every time it ever has. I know this is how a lot of people go about modern dating, but it just feels so foreign to me. I also may be a little on the friends-first is a must side of things. Friendship always lacked from relationships I had long ago and I felt forced into the relationships. It's been a long time being happily and peacefully single and I don't feel someone could ever force me into something again. I wouldn't let them and I'm older.
I love being single... and I like having just friends. If something were to come from a friendship eons from now when I'm old and (all) gray, I might consider it then because I would really know the person. But right now, I feel like I'm better off by myself, no mingling with men and all the stories my single female friends tell me about are literal horror stories. Most of my married friends seem to settle and don't seem entirely happy, either.
Just what's on my mind at the moment and wondering if anyone can relate.