u/mirchangelo

Hello everybody.

I (22F) am from Ontario and have not been able to find the answer to some of my questions online for the Excluded Driver Endorsement (OPCF 28A).

I really just do not want to drive anymore. But from my research, if there are more vehicles in the house than one, the next person who has a license has to be the primary driver of that vehicle. I didn't want my license, but was pushed by my parents to get a G (in 2025).

At the moment, I just don't want to be burdened with the responsibility of driving or having a car, so I want to sign an OPCF 28A so I can be removed from the insurance policy, and then the secondary driver can be the primary driver of that car. I have already looked at the rules; I understand that signing an OPCF 28A means I cannot legally drive that vehicle while the endorsement is in effect, and I'm completely okay with that -- I don't want to drive or touch a car for 3-5+ years anyway.

My questions are listed below (and if this is not the correct place to ask or if there is somewhere more appropriate to ask these questions, please let me know):

• How bad will it become if I have a long gap with no driving (3-5+ years)? More specifically, would it seem like I am a high-risk driver because I didn't drive for so long?

I have a clean record, but I don't want to spend money on a car I don't want to use. I don't want to drive either because I'd like to move to a walkable city and ideally have a WFH job. If I need to commute, I plan to use public transit. My only concern is if, years down the road, I absolutely need a car because of a future family or a job in an area without good public transit (which seems like a lot of North America, sadly).

With regards to the above, the OPCF 28A form says it will be harder to find insurance and premiums will increase in the future. I'm only worried about this if in the future I would absolutely need a car (future family in Ontario, a not public-transit-friendly job). I'm wondering how significant that increase is. The insurance in the GTA is so high, so this concerns me.

• Will they treat me like an absolute new driver even after 25, so I'd have teenager-number insurance premiums?

• Does the money I'd save now outweigh potentially higher premiums later?

• If I am not insured in Ontario for several years, will insurers still recognize that I've held a G since whenever I got it, or do they mainly care about continuous insurance history?

• Is there a point where the gap stops mattering? For example, is a 3-year gap viewed differently than a 10-year gap?

• If I ever moved to another province and again, decided to have a future family there, etc. -- just a situation where a car is absolutely needed, would my gap of not driving affect insurance premiums in those provinces too? Or is this mainly an Ontario issue?

• Does an OPCF 28A only apply to the specific policy I'm excluded from, or could it affect insurance on a future vehicle?

From what I understand, it seems like only the insurance policy for the vehicle I'm excluded from, but I could be wrong.

Anyways, thanks in advance if anyone is able to respond! If anyone has done anything similar, I'd love to hear how things went for you. I really appreciate it.

Hello. I (22F) am feeling super resentful of my younger sibling (18M) right now. I also have one more younger sibling (14M), so I am the oldest of three kids. Thus, growing up, I always had more responsibility and restrictions. I mean, I'm sure everyone knows how it goes, the oldest is the first child, so the parents experiment and figure out what's right and wrong, and get more lenient with each new child that they have. However, because of this, and it's not their fault, I just grew up with so many restrictions. I literally got to go to my first sleep over at 22, got to go to the mall alone at 18, and just got to do a lot of other younger people do at such a late age. I had to look after my siblings growing up as well -- pick them up from school, make sure none of us fight, take them to birthday parties, help them with school work, etc., while my parents worked.

Note: I would like to reiterate I am resentful of my 18-year-old brother. That is who I will be referring to as my 'brother' for the rest of this.

However, the problem is now my brother gets to do all of those things, get all these freedoms I should've already had years ago, way before 18. Yes, everyone would say, "be resentful towards your parents, not your sibling," but he is such an asshole. He doesn't care for school, doesn't have the best grades, never ever had to look after our younger brother, has no responsibilities, drinks until he was fricking slurring-and-stumbling drunk as a MINOR. He has no empathy for my parents working so hard, no care to talk to my youngest brother and I. He only cares about his rich friends and his girlfriend. Does not contribute to any house chores. Nothing.

So yes, I do feel resentful of him, because he gets to have all this freedom when he's so irresponsible. I did everything right, was a straight-A student, am finishing university, paid for my university for two years to not burden my parents, don't drink or smoke. etc. (not saying that is wrong, but it is to my parents, so I thought so growing up as well). My youngest brother is somehow even more responsible than him, so even at 14; he somehow critically thinks, contributes to the house (as in chores, family time), and is a nice human being. But I had to wait until 20-22 to get a lot of freedoms.

I think this resentfulness has been building up ever since he got to have a car (this month). See, again, despite being responsible growing up, when I got my license at 18 (and had adequate experience, so probably 3-6 months) I was not allowed to drive alone. Nobody had faith or trust in me. In Ontario, how it works is you have a G1, G2, G. In brief, G1 is a supervised learner's permit, G2 you can drive solo but not on highways (plus a few restrictions), G is no restrictions -- I had a G2 a the time. Until I got my G, I had to deal with my dad breaking my confidence whenever I drove, him being too picky, not liking if I did something not to his liking. I had to eventually just spend money to drive with an instructor which helped me bring my confidence up again, somewhat.

The worst part is, my brother was such a brat about getting car. We have this old car that's been laying around for a while, but it is in great shape -- it only had a little rust on the outside. When my parents offered that, he said it can't drive that cause he didn't like the rust on it. My parents offered many other solutions, which I will not get into cause that would take forever, but he did not like them. He only agreed to take the car after I finally called him a brat. I told him he was incredibly lucky to have parents offering him a car despite having almost zero driving experience, and that he needed to be grateful for a privilege most 18-year-olds never get. I know I would've been grateful for it. Not a lot of 18-year-olds are just handed this opportunity, and he didn't even have to pay for it or any repairs of the exterior/maintenance.

But he has always been like this, never grateful that we had a roof over our heads, that my parents bought him anything he wanted. My parents do work very hard for us, especially given how tough the economy is right now. But to him, he doesn't think he has to be grateful because "everyone's parents do that."

The point is, my brother did not have to deal with any of the situations I had to deal with. Guess what, he gets his G2, only had about 1-1.5 months of driving experience, and my parents let him have the old car when he got his G2 about 3 weeks ago!!! He demanded a car and he got it. My parents moved the Earth and Moon for him to have a car. They trust him to drive alone forty minutes away for his co-op!!! They didn't trust me to drive fricking 5 minutes away when I wanted to. Their reasoning is, "oh, dad can't wake up early to drop him off." "Oh, he needs a car for his co-op." What about me? I needed a car for when I was working, I could've used a car to not waste 4-5 hours in a day commuting to university, or commuting to anywhere! Nope. for me, it was "no, you don't get to," and I just had to deal with it for the past four years.

And he gets to drive anywhere. My parents claim this is "both" of our car, but that’s a joke. It’s never actually available for me to use because he hogs it completely and ignores every rule my parents impose, like his 10 PM curfew. Even then, I feel like my parents are only saying they "trust" me to drive now because it’s finally convenient for them.

AND TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER... THE CAR IS UNDER MY INSURANCE AND I BASICALLY DON'T EVEN DRIVE IT!!!!

My parents claimed that an 18-year-old with a brand-new license can't get insurance under his own name, but I looked it up and they can! The truth is, they just used my name because I am a more experienced driver with a clean record. They wanted to save my stupid brother from paying $700–$800 a month, because insurance for young male drivers in Ontario is insanely high.

By doing this, they are risking my future insurance rates if he gets into an accident (and he already dented it by hitting a tree on day two!). And honestly, even though my parents say I can drive it, I can't afford a car right now. I refuse to take on the financial responsibility and cost of gas/upkeep for something I didn't even ask for. They said I don't have to pay right now, and can when I get a job, but I don't feel right to do that. But sure, let’s risk the responsible daughter's entire financial/insurance future just so the irresponsible son can have a car after only one month of driving experience. If he wanted the car alone, it should ALL be his responsibility.

I am so infuriated and resentful of my brother cause he just rubs it in my face as well. Whenever we talk it's about the car and how much freedom he has when he knows I didn't get any of it.

He doesn't get punished because he simply doesn't listen. My parents get too much push-back from him so it feels like they don't even bother... which in a sense I understand. My parents work hard at work all day and just want peace when they come home. But in turn, my youngest brother and I get more lectures/"no's" because they don't really get push-back from us, and we are responsible.

But anyway, I am trying to be happy, because at least he gets to have these freedoms at an age where people are supposed to have it. In the long run, it is good for him he gets to be independent when he's younger. At least things are going to be easier for him, and he is happy right now. I am telling myself everyone has a different path, and it is just unfortunate things didn't line up for me when I was younger in terms of having more freedom. His path is different than mine. At the end of the day, I tell myself this shouldn't matter cause it's just a first world problem.

Though I am trying to be reasonable, I am still deeply hurt inside nobody rewarded me for being responsible/well-behaved... I am feeling resentful towards my brother. Am I being immature for feeling this way?

Please, if there are any POVs and something that I am not understanding or anything I should look at differently, please let me know. I would love to somehow feel better about this, I want to be mature about this.

Note: I also feel like a lot of people are going to say that I do need to move out by now. I totally agree with that. At 22, I should be moving out so I can take control of my own life. However, I do feel until I save up again, because I did pay for university for two years on my own and have very little money to my name, it would be financially irresponsible for me to do so in this economy... especially because my parents are letting me live rent free at home! I find my grades drop when I do part-time and university at once, so after my second year I decided to focus on my grades instead of working. After I am done my last semester in a month, I definitely want to have a job lined up to work again and save up enough money to experience life alone! (Though reality is I will likely be unemployed for a while due to the job market.)

Anyways, thanks in advance everyone!

TLDR: I (22F) am the oldest sibling and grew up with many restrictions and responsibilities. My brother (18M) is irresponsible, ungrateful, and reckless, yet my parents just handed him a car and total freedom. To make it worse, they put the car under MY insurance to save money, and he already dented it on day two. I am feeling deeply resentful that he gets rewarded for being a brat, but nobody rewarded me for being responsible. I don't know if it is reasonable or not to feel this way.