AITA for not choosing my sister to be my MOH?
I (22F) recently got engaged and, naturally, immediately started planning all things wedding.
While talking with my sister (19F), I mentioned that my longtime best friend and I were going to look at venues together to narrow down some options for my fiancé and me.
My sister seemed confused and said that should be something I do with her, since that would be her job as my maid of honor. I gently told her that I was actually planning on asking my best friend to be my MOH.
She was really hurt. She told me she couldn’t believe I would do that to her and said she had always imagined that we would be each other’s maids of honor. I completely understand why that means so much to her, but the truth is, I never had that same expectation.
My best friend and I met freshman year of high school and have been extremely close ever since. She knows me and my taste incredibly well and has already helped me with so much throughout my engagement. She’s organized, dependable, and the type of person I know would go above and beyond to make sure everything comes together the way I envision it.
I absolutely love my sister, and there has never been a question about her being a bridesmaid. But if I’m being completely honest, I’ve just never pictured her as my MOH. She’s also only 19 right now, and while our wedding is still 2 years away, I don’t know that she’d want or be able to take on the amount of planning and responsibility that comes with the role.
My biggest issue is that I don’t want to give my sister the MOH title simply because she’s my sister, while still relying on my best friend to essentially act as my MOH behind the scenes. That feels unfair to both of them.
At the same time, seeing how genuinely hurt my sister is has made me question whether I’m being too practical about something that clearly means a lot more to her emotionally.
AITA for choosing my best friend as my maid of honor instead of my sister?