u/moby8403

They keep referencing the "P-slur" but what is that?!?

I have been working on getting into the state of living in the end, of applying the law of assumption's principles.

"The 3d is only showing previous assumptions" - I had to work on this quite a bit. I have a set of numbers that I've applied meaning to because I started seeing them constantly. I've been seeing them since 2011. They're my birthday numbers. And I would see them everywhere. License plates, music videos, clocks, the time lengths of youtube videos, the number of comments, in video games, etc. And when I was manifesting something, and seeing those numbers, I'd mistakenly think 'oh that means it's coming' when in reality, no, the numbers are showing up in 3d because of previous mindsets. They are not a sign of what's to come. (And to make it clear, let's say my birthday is 10/23. I would see a license plate that was just 2031, or a time length of 32:01. It didn't count if any other number was part of it. So that's how specific this was.)

There is something I've wanted for a very long time. Fourteen years. But, I have audhd and while I'm able to mask and function rather well when required, inside my head I have about 10 tabs open at once, and each tab is always going deeper into its own rabbit hole. I over-analyze, over-think. Not always out of dread or anxiousness. Just curiosity. Searching for meaning, if any, patterns to learn from, mistakes I may have made and what to do better next time, compiling information and processing it into one cohesive bubble of information. And so I think that's kept me from manifesting this one thing. But...

A couple weeks ago, I locked in. I learned about taxes, DAFs, trust funds, interest, etc, and how they all affect each other. I had a plan. I had familiarized myself over the years with the amount to where it no longer seemed intimidating, it was familiar. I've had an excel spreadsheet for the last six years and updated it over the years. So I was ready. Am ready. And it's not even about me, but what I would do with it to elicit real change in my community.

It's the lottery. But a certain amount. Not just $10m. I don't play until the cash prize reaches $200m.

I've read people's stories where they manifested the seemingly impossible and improbable. And hey, someone's gonna win the lottery. But some sources will say the lottery is a random thing, that you can't control what numbers get drawn. But no one can control the weather, or other people, or redlights, and yet they manifest good weather on a day they need it, a parking spot someone is just leaving from as you pull in, and nothing but greenlights on their way somewhere.

I've manifested things before. A couple months ago my computer was messing up whenever I restarted it, so I went through all the troubleshooting, redid a few things, but that still didn't work. So I just said fuck it, it works. But I didn't bother with restarting it anymore until a couple weeks ago, and it had no problems.
I've manifested good weather on a certain day during a week of heavy storms. Certain songs.

Here's where I think I messed up - I focused on the amount of money and the life I'd live and the good I'd do with it. Not on the lottery or ticket itself. But I thought that was all it took. And I know, if you want money, you shouldn't try to mandate the "how." I just thought by focusing on my life after winning, by living in the imagination of that life, I would win. Cuz truly, how the hell else is someone going to get a lump sum of hundreds of millions of dollars?

I can let go of the "how" and just affirm on the specific amount of money, but my overly logical, analytical brain is going to be running "ok but where the hell can that realistically come from" in the back of my mind. Which I fear will negate the whole thing. I don't have a job where that sort of thing happens, I don't have any wealthy relatives, and I don't have any million dollar ideas. And I certainly am not going to become a grifter and try to sell people something they can read online for free. I don't want to make money that eventually grows to hundreds of millions. I want the entire amount, all at once.

There was a drawing recently. Someone else won. The prize amount has started over. So I won't be playing for a while until it grows again. Unless... For shits and giggles, I'm now just affirming the amount I want and I'm going to try to not think about where it could possibly come from, because hey, one of the principles is to not worry how it's going to happen. I'm going to work on letting the logic go and just say that's not my problem.

When I saw I didn't win, surprisingly, I felt lighter. Which might mean I hadn't felt as calm and nonchalant about the whole thing as I thought, as one should be when manifesting.

Btw, has anyone else been able to manifest something quickly while angry? It's happened to me a handful of times, with things that no one could have predicted to happen.

ANYWAY... Thoughts? Personal experiences?

there was a channel i'd watch videos on a couple years ago. used to get them recommended to me but havent seen one in so long.
they featured a skeleton/grim reaper, it was a lofi analog, NES, kind of aesthetic. the reaper didnt move. imagine a stationary skeleton, with a black background, with words on the screen matching the voiceover. and the voiceover was a calming, male voice.
it'd talk about things like ''accept the void'' or ''don't fear death'' things of that nature. Dark, stoic, philosophical, advice type stuff.