u/moreofajordan

When you look at the comments about why someone with no direct evidence is probably still “guilty” it almost always includes that the person “used a hitman.”

No gun found? Hitman. No DNA at the scene? Hitman. Nothing can put you near the area at the time? Hitman!

Very real question: are hitmen really THAT easy to come by?! Because based on how often they are credited, you’d think this was an Uber or Door Dash level of gig work jobs.

(And WORSE, moving to Chiefs Kingdom. Oof.)

What the title says! We want to make sure we’ve got plenty of Philly in our new home.

What Philly art/artists should we look at snapping up before we move? I know I have one redditor’s art already up in another tab. Especially interested in unusual styles or unique subjects. I love the WPA-style posters of the Wissahickon and a good Vet blueprint equally.

My homesick-for-Philly heart thanks you in advance!

My SO (46M) is 2 years and 10 months clean. He is active in NA, has a healthy home group, attends meetings anywhere from 3/week to 15/week depending on the situation and need.

And the need is HIGH right now.

I have known about his addiction and life in recovery since the very first date. This is not news to me! And I have been attending a lovely (local, but virtual) NarAnon meeting for the last 2+ months.

Early on, he also told me that times of great change are when he has relapsed in the past or self-sabotaged. When his ex was pregnant with their now 10-year-old, for example, or when it was time to send the kiddo back to his mom.

A week ago, we dropped his son off and looked for homes (!!!) in a city much closer to his home during the school year...think measurable in minutes vs measurable in entire time zones. This should be EXCITING. And on top of that, we made an offer on the perfect house and got it accepted immediately. Even MORE exciting!!

But the time of change and stress is driving him into his deepest urge to relapse. He is whiteknuckling life for the last week. He has gone almost entirely radio silent. He answers 1/10 calls. He says he is trying to focus on staying alive. He says he can’t think about me or the house or anything else and that the guilt of being there when he should be is adding to the pressure to not relapse. He is so clearly down at the bottom of a hole and I can’t get him out.

I am dying here. Yes, it is only day 5. But this is the third time in a year, and I am so afraid that he is going to relapse or cheat (that’s the self-sabotage) because he has said those are the things he does in moments like this. I feel like an exciting moment has soured because he doesn’t want to talk, is short with me on the phone, won‘t respond to 19/20 texts, won’t do anything but go to the gym and go to meetings, etc.

I am of two minds. Obviously I want to give him the time and space he needs to get back to baseline. But also, I am your partner! I am about to take out a mortgage (in my name) for a house we will both live in and get married in and pay taxes on! I need some care and keeping myself. It feels like his idea of how much of that care and keeping I need is TOO much, but how much of that care and keeping I am getting is way too little. We need a way to strike a better balance

I don’t know. I am trying but i am **very clearly spinning out**. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Is there something you did to make the lows more manageable? Do you just…live by yourself when the addict is struggling not to relapse?

please. Help.

Basically the title! Having trouble telling what is a run-of-the-mill relationship issue and what is a behavior pattern of an addict who is clean but on the verge of relapsing.

Left SGF in 2011, and will be moving back this year.

Are there any neighborhoods that have turned around or gotten safer than they used to be? I’d love to be able to cast a wider net, home-buying-wise, than the usual suspect spots of my childhood. I know that when I was growing up, there were some areas that were definitely not the safest, but don‘t know if it’s the same list today!