u/mr-doinky

Just wanted to write some thoughts here, I've been thinking a lot about this since my journey of blocking social media using my Brick and Apple's stricter screen time restrictions on iOS 27.

When I'm amongst close friends, I notice some have more extreme cases of screen time addiction or phone use, and others are... not so great either, but they manage to work well and usually are able to focus on things for a long time, although it can be fragmented depending on the day or with other factors, it just depends on how much they enjoy or actually WANT to do something.

I am still the same way, as I am only starting my journey, and I have started to realize how much time I've been wasting.

I particularly notice this when we watch movies, more specifically with older films, I was watching a movie with them and one portion would check their phones rapidly and the others would as well, but not as often as the others and generally stayed attentive for longer periods of time.

Of course however, this depends on whether they like the movie or not, as some are just more of their taste than others which causes them to pay closer attention, but I notice older movies still aren't as stimulating as today. When I watch a movie now I brick my phone so I'm fully dialed in.

Though I do worry due to obsessive use of social media people increasingly view slower, more attentive movies as "not their taste" when in reality they simply didn't comprehend or like it because their brain is inhibited (maybe that's too strong of a word) to paying attention to them.

The main reason I'm discussing this is because I noticed I was really annoyed by them not being able to focus for more than two minutes and I attributed it solely to, "oh, well your brain is just so fried by your phone so you can't pay attention at all, ya damn zombie." But it's not that simple I've realized. And I think you can get caught up in this hierarchical or competitive way of thinking where you believe you are better than others simply because you can pay attention longer, at least that's how it was for me until I realized I was doing it in a way.

Hey guys, I'm 19M and I kinda just said fuck it I'll try HVAC since everybody wants to be an electrician so (I mean everybody also wants to do HVAC but not as much as an electrician).

I've watched videos on YouTube with guys doing Resi work or commercial work, I don't know what the fucks going on in the videos but I guess I just like how its like... its a field where every project you do is proportional to your growth, I want to do something where I feel I'm improving and using my brain meats.

I'm not a handy guy, I can't even fix a toilet, I did real well in high school but a lot of shit happened after I graduated and I don't think college is the right choice for me right now, I'll be honest I think I'm mostly doing it because I wanna make sure I have a good foundation in life and be comfortable. Though I'm aware the work is HARD, no matter how much reading or stories you look at on Reddit you don't know the half of it.

I've been doing math prep before school starts but besides that I don't know what else I should be doing.

Any advice or... any anecdotes for why its a good thing to get into? I feel like I'm trying to develop a sense of reason.

Hey guys, I really need an objective math check because I am completely overwhelmed and my brain is fried. I am 19, working full-time on minimum wage (bringing home around $600-700/week), and my family is in a massive crisis in Hudson County, NJ.

This rent crisis originally started in December of last year. Before all this, my dad had a good job making $125k a year, but even when he had that job, he still came up short on rent and bills. We fell behind before March and owed $6,300. I wanted to help, so I gave him $2,000 of my own cash, and he emptied his 401k to pay it off. We got it down to $1,800, but right after that, he got laid off anyway. The next month, the debt ballooned to $4,800, and I had to give him another $1,500 just to keep us from drowning. And last month he received 4,030 in unemployment but he wasn’t able to pay for last month, he paid off 1,900 for May but he missed June completely, I don’t know the exact numbers of everything I‘m sorry if this is confusing. He recently got a new job making an $80k base salary paid biweekly, with a 10% commission check coming next month, and he’s driving Uber on the side.

The problem is my parents are on horrible terms right now and actively want a divorce. My mom used to be a teacher's assistant when we were little, but after that, she tried entrepreneurship, and her business was actually losing money until my dad couldn't keep funding it anymore. She wanted to be a singer when she was younger, and ever since 2018, she hasn't held a steady job. She spent years applying to corporate roles she wasn't qualified for, and only started applying to basic jobs last year. My dad's friend actually gave her a full-time minimum wage job at a cabinet shop, but she was let go, and she has a history of being fired, she has a story and the employer has another story basically.

Now, she has a really defensive attitude, especially with my dad. She literally told him she wishes she never married him, even though he’s taken care of her all these years, just because she’s bitter about not being successful in life. She refuses to even do basic gig work and tried doing card readings to make money. Because she is completely checked out and they just fight constantly, my dad is panicking at a 10/10 stress level. Since he has no partner to lean on, he is putting all the pressure on me to be his financial backup, I’ve been helping contribute to the household by buying groceries and helping with bills ever since. I have zero faith in her, so it feels like it’s just me and my dad trying to keep my brother safe.

Our rent is $2,400 a month (now $2,450 basically with an extra $50 fee). My dad has lingering credit card debt from a $10k lower lid eye surgery he did for my mom years ago (it was to get rid of bags or something) and it tanked his credit score. He is currently paying it off through a consolidation company (Liberty Capital) for like $65 a month each for two cards. Our fixed monthly costs are a PSE&G utility plan for $200, car/life insurance for $200–$250, and he’s paying $332/month for my little brother's school trip (which he shouldn’t have done), groceries can even go up to $1,600 a month alone… There’s another random recurring expense of $400/month that I forgot the name of. Also, because of the income gap from the layoff, he’s been borrowing from multiple cash-advance apps like Albert to get by. All his regular bills are on autopay.

Right now, we owe $5,000 in back rent. Our landlord is a private individual, and he just texted threatening to file formal eviction paperwork by the 30th if we don’t have the cash. My dad is at a 10/10 stress level. Because his account is set up with all those automated bill pulls and the cash app auto-drafts, he knows the money gets taken out immediately when deposited. To bypass this, he wants me to turn my weekly paychecks into physical cash to hand straight to the landlord for rent so the apps can't touch it, and he says he’ll use Uber cash for his half.

I also have $6,300 left in savings, but it’s sitting in a Till Financial account, which is a custodial teen account he has admin access to. I want to open a private individual adult account (like Chime or Capital One 360) to move my $6,300 tonight so it's safe. I suggested taking over the bills using my card to manually force his expenses down so he can focus his cash on the landlord, but he seems really objected to it because his autopay goes towards everything and he thinks having me do it manually is too risky. He keeps insisting I give the checks to the landlord in cash.

I am posting this because I am completely terrified, shaking, and I don't know what to do. My absolute main priority is keeping my 15-year-old brother safe and housed, but I feel completely cornered. I want to have my own money so I can have a nest egg if things go south so I‘ll still have something for all of us and not go completely broke and but I'm so scared of making the wrong choice and getting us evicted. Should I just pay it all off and get it over with so this can finally be done? But if I do that it’ll probably happen again next month and then I won’t have any savings to help out, I don’t know. Please help me out.

1. Given how his biweekly paychecks, automated bills, and cash app withdrawals are spaced out, what is the best way to handle the cash flow this month?
2. Will a private landlord or a Hudson County court accept partial weekly cash payments toward a $5,000 balance, or will the landlord still file the paperwork on the 30th anyway?
3. What is the actual legal timeline for a landlord filing a non-payment case in Hudson County, NJ, and how long do we typically have before a real court date is set?
4. How can I safely set a boundary with my dad about keeping my paycheck in my own account without making his stress worse?
5. Should I look into getting a second job alongside my full-time work and put in 60-70 hours a week to help clear this, or is that a losing strategy with his account setup?