u/mrs__dynamic

Hi, I’m trying to articulate my experience with TSM because I feel stuck and I need help.

I was introduced to TSM when I was around 15. I heard people talking about it on Youtube and became curious, but I don’t think I really understood what releasing meant.

Instead of allowing feelings to come up and pass, I think I started trying to create a specific feeling in my body, catch it, then trying to figure it out, and ending up stuck. Over time, this became a pattern that I was constantly scanning my body, trying to identify sensations, control them, and fix whatever felt wrong.

Now I'm looking back, I feel like I was doing the opposite of what the method is about. Instead of letting go, I became hyper focused on my body and emotions. The sensations became more intense, and I started feeling trapped in them. I’ve developed a lot of body tension, pain, anxiety, panic, and even diseases, and I feel like my nervous system is constantly activated.

Now I feel like I don’t know how to stop this pattern. I feel stuck inside my own feelings and body sensations, and I don’t know who I am without trying to control or fix them, like I'm living in delusions.

I’ve tried therapy, but no therapist really understood what I'm going through.

Has anyone gone through something similar, where trying to release became a form of control or hyper fixation?

I’d really appreciate any advice or perspective, as I'm in a very dark place, and in so much pain.

Sometimes I catch my therapist giving me a warm smile while I’m talking

I misunderstood TSM for years and became stuck controlling body sensations