▲ 2 r/SnapchatHelp
Can someone tell me if this is stalking or not?
I’ve posted a story on my public acc and I don’t understand these numbers really. Does it mean the same person replayed my story this many times or what?
u/mrskudo — 1 month ago
He Made Me Promise Never to Leave. So I Left. 22f, 23m
I'm 22F, he's 23M, and we've been together for 7 years. I never told anyone the full story until recently.
My ex was a psycho, and there were a lot of questionable things he did early in our relationship that I somehow ended up accepting or believing weren't "that bad."
One of the first things he did was create a fake account and use it to talk to himself. From this fake account, he called me a whore and sent nudes that looked almost like me, but obviously weren't actually me. Then he showed them to me and asked me, "WTF is this? Why does another person have your nudes when you told me I was your first?" Mind you I was 15 in a conservative family.. and I was completely confused and terrified because I knew I hadn't sent those pictures to anyone but he didn’t believe me.
Another time, he broke up with me and hacked my account. Then he sent me receipts of money he supposedly paid a hacker to get my account back. He made it look like someone else had hacked me and that he had paid to fix everything. It was actually him the entire time.
When we reconciled after that breakup, on the very first night, he sent me nudes of another girl and told me that she wanted to sleep with him.
He also made another fake account, sent himself a picture of me that I had previously sent him, and then confronted me about it, asking who I had sent it to. I was crying and begging him to believe me because I had literally only sent it to him.
He also lied constantly about his medical condition. He told me he was sick and having surgeries and made me believe that he had serious medical problems. I was so overwhelmed and worried that I actually went to his sister and begged her to tell me the truth about whether he was lying to me or not. She refused to be completely honest with me and only said that it wasn't as bad as he was saying.
There was also an argument where he facetimed me and started drinking 70% medical alcohol. I was so worried that I called the hospital to check on him, only to find out he wasn't even there. He never gave me an explanation for what actually happened.
Another time, he told me that the police had taken him because he had been absent the whole day.
He also pressured me sexually for a very long time. I refused to send him nudes for about the first year and a half, but he kept pressuring me. He told me that he would love me more if I had sex with him.
Then he made two fake girls accounts to message him about how much they wanted him and what they were willing to do to him sexually things I felt like I could never do for him. Then he gave me access to his account so I could supposedly talk to these girls and tell them off.
He also sent me an unsolicited dick pic and then got angry because I didn't compliment his dick. I had no prior sexual experience, so obviously I was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do!
Later, he pressured me to send him a sex tape that we filmed around our 3rd year even after I explicitly told him I didn't want to.
He also never wanted me to tell anyone about our problems. He always said that we should solve everything ourselves and that I shouldn't tell other people what was happening in our relationship.
He never liked my friends either. He kept telling me that they were bad for me and that they weren't good people.
He also conditioned me to constantly update him about everything I was doing. I had to tell him where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with. If I didn't send him updates, he would get angry.
At one point, I didn't really have friends anymore (not because of him directly), so he let me talk to his male bff. But his bff was supposed to tell him everything I said and everything I did. So even when I thought I had someone I could talk to, he still knew everything.
He was also incredibly jealous and protective of me. He could literally get jealous of my own dad and my brother.
He would get angry about the clothes I wore and tell me that I could wear whatever I wanted once we got married.
We're both supposedly child-free. I told him that I wanted to stay child-free and suggested that he get a vasectomy because I thought a hysterectomy would be more painful and dangerous. He strongly refused at first and said we'd see about it after marriage. At the same time, he refused to use condoms because he said they didn't feel good. We never actually had intercourse*.
And then there was the constant blame shifting. No matter what happened, somehow I was always the problem.
For years, he told me that I was the one who created all the problems in our relationship and that he never caused any problems or conflicts. Even when he did something wrong and I tried to bring it up, he would somehow turn the entire situation around.
He was also incredibly incredulous about everything I said. He would question me and tell me that what I was saying was wrong even when he had absolutely no prior knowledge of the subject. Somehow, I was always wrong.
There was one incident where he suddenly claimed that he had lost his memory and didn't know anyone or anything.
I was still talking to his best friend, so I told his best friend what was happening. And for once, his best friend actually stood by me and told him off, saying that he was lying.
But my ex insisted that his memory loss was real. He somehow convinced me that his best friend was wrong and that I was wrong for questioning him.
I ended up talking to him for hours while I was in complete emotional distress, trying to deal with what I thought was a real situation.
And whenever I tried to bring up any of these incidents later, he would just say that he didn't remember or he would say it never happened.
For years, I genuinely started wondering if I was the problem. Maybe I was remembering things incorrectly. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe I really did cause all the conflicts. Maybe everything was somehow my fault.
About a year ago, he had raised his voice at me and said some really nasty things, so I told him I was leaving. my dad didn't know about him. He showed up in front of my family's house and threatened to knock on the door.
I was scared. I didn't know what would happen if my dad found out about him that way, so I stayed.
Things wasn’t always this bad because if they were, I would’ve left and never questioned myself but after the first 2 years he improved over time, and on the surface, our relationship looked much healthier and all of his friends would envy him and everybody thought the relationship was perfect. They just didn’t know about all of this.
about a month ago, I tried to break up with him again.
I realized that I didn't see myself being in this relationship anymore. I couldn't see myself progressing toward an engagement or marriage with him.
He started crying and begging me not to leave.
He told me he would off himself if I left.
He even drove a bit too fast while I was in the car, and I got scared. He kept begging me until I finally said okay, I would stay. Then he made me promise that I would never leave him again.
And I promised.
But about two weeks later, I was talking to a friend, and something in me just snapped.
I decided to tell her everything.
Not just one thing, Everything!!!!
I had never told anyone the full story before. Part of it I was scared to admit to myself what was happening because he always made me look crazy for thinking what I was thinking.
Because I knew that once people knew everything, there was no going back. And my friend told me to leave immediately.
So I did!
I blocked him on everything. No warning. No goodbye. Nothing.
I just left.
And here's the weirdest part.
After everything that happened, after seven years together, after all the times he begged me not to leave, after telling me that he would kill himself if I left, after making me promise that I would never leave him again...
He never tried to contact me.
Not once!!!
The aftermath was me crying for the first 3 days then silence. I didn’t even feel anything afterwards. And I did throw somethings that he got me and didn’t feel anything..
I’m really confused, and I don’t know what to do or how to proceed or why the fuck he didn’t try to contact me afterwards.
So I would really appreciate the insight of what you guys think about my situation!
u/mrskudo — 3 months ago
▲ 38 r/GirlDinnerDiaries
He Made Me Promise Never to Leave. So I Left.
Shin ramen with sausages and an egg ( it’s my comfort meal)
I’m 22F left my 23M ex of 7 years.
I never told anyone the full story of my relationship until recently, and I’m trying to understand what happened and why I feel so confused now.
My ex did a lot of questionable things, especially during the first two years, that I somehow accepted or convinced myself weren’t “that bad.”
For example, he once created a fake account to talk to himself. From that account, he called me horrible names and sent pictures that looked almost like me, but weren’t actually me. He then showed them to me and accused me of sending intimate pictures to someone else. I was 15, from a conservative family, and terrified because I knew I hadn’t sent anything to anyone, but he didn’t believe me.
Another time, after he broke up with me, he hacked my account and then sent me “receipts” of money he supposedly paid someone to recover it. I later realized he had been behind it himself.
He also created another fake account, sent himself a picture I’d previously sent him, and confronted me about who I’d supposedly sent it to. I was crying and begging him to believe me because I’d only ever sent it to him.
When we reconciled after another breakup, he immediately showed me intimate pictures of another girl and told me she wanted to be with him.
He also repeatedly lied about serious medical problems. He told me he was sick and undergoing surgeries, and I became so worried that I went to his sister and begged her to tell me what was actually happening. She wouldn’t give me a straight answer and only said it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
During one argument, he claimed he was doing something dangerous to himself. I became so worried that I contacted the hospital to check on him, only to find out he wasn’t there. He never properly explained what had happened.
There were other fabricated emergencies too, including one time when he told me the police had taken him because he’d been gone all day.
>!There was also a lot of pressure around intimacy. I repeatedly said no to things I wasn’t comfortable with, but he kept pushing and told me he’d love me more if I was willing to do certain things. He also created fake accounts pretending to be women who supposedly wanted him, apparently to make me feel jealous or inadequate.!<
>!He once sent me an unsolicited intimate picture and became angry when I didn’t react the way he wanted me to. I had no prior experience and was uncomfortable.!<
>!Later, he pressured me to share an intimate recording we’d made, even after I’d explicitly said I didn’t want to.!<
He also didn’t want me telling anyone about our relationship problems. He always said we should solve everything ourselves.
He disliked my friends and repeatedly told me they were bad for me. Over time, I also became accustomed to constantly updating him about where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with. If I didn’t, he’d become angry.
Eventually, I didn’t have many friends left, so I started talking to his best friend. But his best friend was apparently expected to tell him everything I said and did.
He was extremely jealous and possessive. He could even get jealous of my own father and brother.
He also got angry about the clothes I wore and told me that I’d be able to wear whatever I wanted once we were married.
We’re both supposedly child-free. I suggested that he consider a vasectomy because I didn’t want children and was concerned about the risks of other options. He refused and said we’d discuss it after marriage. He also refused to use condoms because he said they were uncomfortable. We never actually had intercourse.
The biggest pattern, though, was the constant blame shifting.
For years, he told me that I was responsible for all of our problems and that he never caused conflict. Whenever he did something wrong and I tried to address it, the conversation somehow became about something I’d supposedly done.
He also constantly questioned things I said and told me I was wrong, even when he had no prior knowledge of the subject.
There was one particularly strange incident where he suddenly claimed that he’d lost his memory and didn’t know anyone anymore. I told his best friend, who actually stood up for me and told him that he didn’t believe him.
My ex insisted that it was real and somehow convinced me that his friend was wrong. I spent hours extremely distressed, trying to deal with what I thought was a genuine crisis.
Later, whenever I brought up incidents like this, he’d say he didn’t remember them or that they never happened.
For years, I genuinely wondered if I was the problem. Maybe I remembered things incorrectly. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe I really was responsible for all our conflicts.
About a year ago, I finally tried to leave.
He had raised his voice at me and said some really nasty things, so I told him I was done. My dad didn’t know about him, and he showed up outside my family’s house and threatened to knock on the door.
I was scared, so I stayed.
Things weren’t always this bad. After the first two years, he seemed to improve, and on the surface, everyone thought our relationship was perfect. They just didn’t know what had happened in the past.
About a month ago, I tried to break up with him again. I realized I couldn’t see myself progressing toward marriage with him.
>!He cried and begged me not to leave. He threatened to hurt himself if I did. He also drove recklessly while I was in the car, which scared me.!<
Eventually, I agreed to stay.
He made me promise that I’d never leave him again.
I promised.
Two weeks later, I finally told a friend everything.
I’d never told anyone the full story before. Partly because I was scared to admit it to myself, and partly because I’d spent so long being made to feel like I was crazy or that everything was my fault.
I knew that once I told someone everything, there was probably no going back.
My friend told me to leave immediately.
So I did.
I blocked him everywhere. No warning. No goodbye. I just left.
And here’s the part I can’t understand.
After seven years together, after all the begging, after everything he’d said about how he couldn’t live without me, after making me promise I’d never leave him again…
He never tried to contact me.
Not once.
I cried for about three days, and then I just felt… nothing.
I threw away things he’d given me and felt nothing.
I don’t know if that’s normal. I don’t know if I’m in shock, if I’m finally relieved, or if I emotionally checked out of the relationship long before I actually left.
And I also can’t understand why he never reached out. I genuinely expected him to try to contact me after everything that had happened before.
I would really appreciate the insight of what you guys think?
u/mrskudo — 3 months ago