u/mszbrightside30

As Yom e aza is coming to an end , I’m noticing more and more differences in my and my husbands “ Shia values “ .. this is our third Muhurram together.. it’s interesting how what connected us was azaadari during the talking stage and now that is what is causing most of our arguments these days ..

My Shia Upbrining : parents brought us to the west and embedded Shia values in us. One of them being taking us to every majlis ( shahadat or wiladat ) .. of course Thursday madressa and Sunday school. Making sure we know the history of every participant who took part in the battle of Karbala and knowing about them . My older sister and her husband hold similar Shia values too very similarly .. participating in jaloos , doing Niyaz and doing majlis at their home.

My Husbands Upbringing : For context , his dad is not really religious he is agnostic . His mom recites Quran and listens to Ziyart Ashura and listens to majlis mostly from home since she was old. She also doesn’t pray namaz even if it’s mandatory cause she thinks she physically isn’t capable of it when she can .

Now to talk about this small town mosque he goes to and has been going to since he was 18 . It’s like this Sunni Shia mosque , to this day I don’t understand it . They have a very small population . They commemorate the first 10 days and do arbaeen ( and that too on a day that’s convenient for their little community ) not on the day when everyone else is doing it . The lectures are very intellectual and not really emotional barely any crying or mourning which is a bit of a shock to me . You can say there is no passion really and I never feel connected compare to other places .

Another thing that got me thinking critically about this community is their selectiveness of who they want to mourn or celebrate . Once they did Milad Miraj a week ahead when there was a shahadat the entire Shia community was mourning and they were doing Milad . Now this little community has to rent small community centres for their program during winter and they have a tent outside during summer . They don’t have a lot of funding and they don’t want it . They are very lowkey about this community it doesn’t even have a name it’s just a word of mouth situation .. The women of the community are very nice people none the less .

However, my stance is more so on as Shias we shouldn’t be selective of who to mourn and who to celebrate . For example : this Sunday is Eid e Zehra as we all know it’s on a Sunday ( it’s convenient for their little community to come out and celebrate) . However Milad un Nabi that comes shortly after it they will prioritize that and they should not saying they shouldn’t .

So this community that is so “ SUSHI” I’ve never seen them hosting a majlis for imam Ali (as) , I’ve never seen them hosting a majlis for Bibi Zainab or Bibi Fatima (as) . Let alone, let’s not talk about who pushed the door down on Bibi Fatima . They would never talk about the “ other 3” .

Also, they have some reverted Sunni imam who leads the Eid khutba, I’ve no issue with it it’s fine but I just don’t understand their values I really don’t . Some other Shia communities have an issue with this little community as well . They don’t do Niyaz, they don’t do taboot , no Alams ( very one ummah oriented ) which is cute lol. But let’s be real .. anywho .. husband and I got into an argument about this . His stance was why do I need to attend every majlis of every character that was in the battle of Karbala . It’s not about the quantity of majlis but quality . Which he means to mention is the Maulana Shia one that comes ford the first 10 days and that’s all he does . I get imam Hussain message is in the heart of the momin why does it matter if one should attend every majlis but to me it’s more of a loyalty . His point , what’s the point of going to majlis and not praying 5 times praying for fajr . He also said I bet all those men who do matam shirtless they don’t wake up for fajar ( how the heck would he know that ) anywho .. I told him listen man you’re talking to a Shia who for the first time didn’t listen to music in Muhurram or Safar so that’s a good start . Then he came to hijab I don’t do hijab but dress modest . Anywho, he thinks I’m better than him and his small modest community. I just don’t think it’s about better it’s about values at the end .

I told him my final thoughts on this community and I’ve my judgment which is it’s not for me, it doesn’t meet your to my value simple . I can never adopt this community no matter what . He respects that I do my own azadaari elsewhere .. Anywho I wouldn’t have ever thought I would have this difference in particular . At the end of the day , I’m happy I married a decent Muslim Shia guy . But I don’t plan on going there with my kids or raising them there . I don’t plan on changing my thoughts towards this community , I recently exited it cause I just hate their selectiveness of what gets celebrated who gets mourned . Anywho, god bless.. thank you for reading my vent sisters ❤️🤲🏼

Hello Salam ,

As Yom e aza is coming to an end , I’m noticing more and more differences in my and my husbands “ Shia values “ .. this is our third Muhurram together.. it’s interesting how what connected us was azaadari during the talking stage and now that is what is causing most of our arguments these days ..

My Shia Upbrining : parents brought us to the west and embedded Shia values in us. One of them being taking us to every majlis ( shahadat or wiladat ) .. of course Thursday madressa and Sunday school. Making sure we know the history of every participant who took part in the battle of Karbala and knowing about them . My older sister and her husband hold similar Shia values too very similarly .. participating in jaloos , doing Niyaz and doing majlis at their home.

My Husbands Upbringing : For context , his dad is not really religious he is agnostic . His mom recites Quran and listens to Ziyart Ashura and listens to majlis mostly from home since she was old. She also doesn’t pray namaz even if it’s mandatory cause she thinks she physically isn’t capable of it when she can .

Now to talk about this small town mosque he goes to and has been going to since he was 18 . It’s like this Sunni Shia mosque , to this day I don’t understand it . They have a very small population . They commemorate the first 10 days and do arbaeen ( and that too on a day that’s convenient for their little community ) not on the day when everyone else is doing it . The lectures are very intellectual and not really emotional barely any crying or mourning which is a bit of a shock to me . You can say there is no passion really and I never feel connected compare to other places .

Another thing that got me thinking critically about this community is their selectiveness of who they want to mourn or celebrate . Once they did Milad Miraj a week ahead when there was a shahadat the entire Shia community was mourning and they were doing Milad . Now this little community has to rent small community centres for their program during winter and they have a tent outside during summer . They don’t have a lot of funding and they don’t want it . They are very lowkey about this community it doesn’t even have a name it’s just a word of mouth situation .. The women of the community are very nice people none the less .

However, my stance is more so on as Shias we shouldn’t be selective of who to mourn and who to celebrate . For example : this Sunday is Eid e Zehra as we all know it’s on a Sunday ( it’s convenient for their little community to come out and celebrate) . However Milad un Nabi that comes shortly after it they will prioritize that and they should not saying they shouldn’t .

So this community that is so “ SUSHI” I’ve never seen them hosting a majlis for imam Ali (as) , I’ve never seen them hosting a majlis for Bibi Zainab or Bibi Fatima (as) . Let alone, let’s not talk about who pushed the door down on Bibi Fatima . They would never talk about the “ other 3” .

Also, they have some reverted Sunni imam who leads the Eid khutba, I’ve no issue with it it’s fine but I just don’t understand their values I really don’t . Some other Shia communities have an issue with this little community as well . They don’t do Niyaz, they don’t do taboot , no Alams ( very one ummah oriented ) which is cute lol. But let’s be real .. anywho .. husband and I got into an argument about this . His stance was why do I need to attend every majlis of every character that was in the battle of Karbala . It’s not about the quantity of majlis but quality . Which he means to mention is the Maulana Shia one that comes ford the first 10 days and that’s all he does . I get imam Hussain message is in the heart of the momin why does it matter if one should attend every majlis but to me it’s more of a loyalty . His point , what’s the point of going to majlis and not praying 5 times praying for fajr . He also said I bet all those men who do matam shirtless they don’t wake up for fajar ( how the heck would he know that ) anywho .. I told him listen man you’re talking to a Shia who for the first time didn’t listen to music in Muhurram or Safar so that’s a good start . Then he came to hijab I don’t do hijab but dress modest . Anywho, he thinks I’m better than him and his small modest community. I just don’t think it’s about better it’s about values at the end .

I told him my final thoughts on this community and I’ve my judgment which is it’s not for me, it doesn’t meet your to my value simple . I can never adopt this community no matter what . He respects that I do my own azadaari elsewhere .. Anywho I wouldn’t have ever thought I would have this difference in particular . At the end of the day , I’m happy I married a decent Muslim Shia guy . But I don’t plan on going there with my kids or raising them there . I don’t plan on changing my thoughts towards this community , I recently exited it cause I just hate their selectiveness of what gets celebrated who gets mourned . Anywho, god bless.. thank you for reading my vent sisters ❤️🤲🏼

Hello,

I have a job interview for Epic Principal Trainer position soon , I was hoping to get more insights on how to do well in the position . I have experience with EPIC , and I have taught it to health care staff . However, I know a bit about the principal trainer role but would like more insights to what to expect etc ..

I do come from a learning and development role as well instructional design , and health care of course mostly executing training and lesson plans . I did have a principal trainer who taught us EPIC , however I’m not in touch with them . Any helpful tips on what to expect , what a day looks like . The pros and cons ? The meaningful part and the hard part about the role? How can I prepare myself better to do well in this role :)

I need advice in regards to leaving a full time permanent job for a contract role until end of this year . I know this sounds CRAZY ! But read further ..

So basically I’ve a admin job at a healthcare organization since last November 2025 and I work evening hours which seriously suck + every other weekend . This is a dead end job and just good for survival . I’ve years of Canadian work experience and Canadian education + I’m working on getting a reputable certificate and getting certified once I write the exam .

I’m not going to get anywhere with the job that I’ve right now it’s deadbeat , doesn’t challenge me and a lot of office politics . I recently got a job at a recognized organization but its contract and it’s right up my alley in terms of the career I’m building as I’m pivoting towards a different sector .

What do you advise for someone in my current situation ?