u/multi-97

I (28F) knew things were going good for too long. A few annoyances and little jabs that are meaningless because she I'm just accustomed to them, but I knew it was going to get worse at some point. It always does.

She did it. She went in my fucking room when I wasn't looking, rushing around for sweets. Like I dreaded she would do. And before I did, she scolded me for simply forgetting to put my washing away, as if no one else has done it before and it simply couldn't wait until the morning.

She took that opportunity to go sneaking in my room. She made sure I was busy, and snuck in so I wouldn't have a go at her! She asked me where my sweetie stash was, despite me having told her a couple of hours ago I have none. Which is the fucking truth. This is why I'm scared to leave anything in my room, because it doesn't have a lock. This place is rented. It didn't have a lock anyway.

My face fell when I saw she was in there, and she began grinning at getting caught.

She is sixty in a few months. I'm fed up with it. This is why I don't buy lots of sweets anymore so I don't keep buying any for the week, because she always wants to have mine. She has millions of gluten free stuff, why can't I have anything that's mine? I don't always want to share, in fact I only offered for her to have some of my chocolate earlier because it's one I'm not fussed about, for once.

It's why if I buy snacks, I hide them in my bag or deep in my other drawers. It's my hard earned money, I don't get a lot of time to myself. So much joy has been sucked out of me, can't I have one thing?

The invasion of privacy has always been a problem. I keep jumping when I hear my door, I've thrown my phone down on the floor a few times because I'm worried she'll catch me typing this.

I've told her about it feeling like I have no privacy before, she just laughs until I get mad and then she screams at me.

I've started making plans to move into a house share. Only literally started. It will be so fucking hard and frightening for me since I can't cook apart from basic meals, and I assume she'll have to find out at some point because of our rent situation of this current apartment.

But I just want some privacy and time to myself. I've had a shit shift, and I just want to relax. I was watching one of the toy story films before this for fucks sake!

I told her for about her gluten free snacks she can have, but she just says stuff like 'sometimes a girl wants a haribo'. (If I was less sensible, I would've snapped 'and a girl wants her room to herself', but that wouldn't have ended well)

This is why I try so hard to get overtime where I work, so I spend as little time with my mother as I can. I know this sounds harsh on its own, but if I talk about all problems with my mother, I'll be here all day.

I'm from the UK, if this helps.

My mother (60F) makes me absolutely miserable. She doesn't know boundaries, she makes fun of me all the time, she screams at me I try to set boundaries, she belittles me and is forever waiting for me to date a mam despite me not wanting that at all and how I'm terrified and uncomfortable at the thought of it. So, long story short, I really want to move out.

I am constantly checking how much money I can give to my savings account, I work overtime as much as I can because unfortunately my job is only part time. I feel hopeless and lost because the cost of living is insane.

Tonight, we were walking home from dinner at our local with my grandad, and she just began talking about how when he dies (very light subject, I know lol) she wants to move to the seaside. She asked me if I want to go with her (I said yes just to get it over with because if I say no she'll kick up a huge fuss and scream and treat me like I'm the worst person ever. I wish she would stop talking about the future so much becausd I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I was looking forward to enjoying my day off and yet again, she's ruined it already. Yet again, she's making it all feel like time is against me, which is true because I am stuck with this monster that birthed me)

Panic is starting to set in now. I'm trapped, because I've got no choice anyway really! As much as I want to, I don't have enough money to live on my own, I don't have any other family around here and I don't want to move away and be even more miserable. She's going to isolate me from everything! My career and my friends. I can never relax when she's around really because I never know when she's going to switch up loving mother to mocking bully, I'm always thinking about how I can get out and I fear I can never live in the present and enjoy life.

At least I know she's giving me an out and hopefully she will respect my wishes, even if it's after she throws her guilttripping tantrum.

But, I don't have enough money to live by myself. I don't make enough money to do that either. I don't want to live with roommates because what if they turn out to be like her?

My mum has suggested I live with her until I find a partner I want to live with. That will take forever, plus if I'm potentially living with someone- if they turn out toxic, I'll have to go back to living with my mother anyway. So, it's just an endless sea of really bad options.

Is there a subreddit about UK actress Sophia Di Martino?