u/muthira

Hello guys, I'm originally from Fort Kochi but ente Amma Thrissur aan work cheyyunne. She lives near Westfort Hospital, Poonkunnam. I came here yesterday and will be here for a week.

Since Amma goes for work everyday (9 am to 7 pm), enikk full bore adi aan. Fort Kochi-yil eppo venelum porath pokaam. But ivide apart from the ambalangal and malls, endha cheyyaan/kaanaan ille? I searched online pakshe onnum kandilla.

Is there any hang out spot or any weekend activities to do in/near Poonkunnam? Any suggestions?

Also if anyone is up for a hang out/meet-up let me knowww (preferably women). I'm 22F. Aarengilum okke parichayapedaalo. Anganelum bore adi maaratte 🫠

Trigger Warning: Mention of trauma and abuse.

I know that there is no written rule that one cannot fall back into depression after having found peace and happiness within oneself. But it's still so weird.

I'm not talking about the normal highs and lows that every human being has. I'm talking about the happiness you finally find after so many years of struggle and hard work of building and rebuilding yourself, and then all of a sudden it's ripped away from you. Your life finally turns around and things start to look good, and then you fall right back into depression; as if you never had that peace and happiness in the first place. You cannot even remember what it was like to be happy.

I'm 22F btw, and I come from an extremely dysfunctional family. I was physically abused by my father until I was 16. He would beat me up for anything and everything. My mother was emotionally unavailable and negligent. But I'm still very emotionally attached and dependent on her even though she's abusive as well. The worst part is, my father changed and isn't abusive anymore. So now I have to pretend like everything was and is normal.

My sister (26F) and I were never close. Because even though we grew up in the same household, we had completely different lives. My father never hit her (nor my mother), not once. For some reason he decided to take all his anger out on me. She was always with her friends because of what was happening in our family. So we weren't in each others' lives. We do talk now, but not much. We have a huge gap between us.

From all what had happened to me, I should've gone completely insane by now. But somehow I didn't. I fought through it, overcame it, and still strive to be better. I worked so hard to get where I am now. I did try to take my life when I was 15, but I didn't succeed. I'm glad it didn't, because that near-death experience actually gave me a reason to live. It made me want to live. Anger and sadness turned into motivation.

So basically, all my life, I never really knew what it meant to have peace or happiness.

During my teenage years, I didn't know what it was like to have a good night's sleep. Almost every night I would wake up in sheer terror from nightmares. I had severe insomnia. I would also starve myself a lot, because I didn't have any appetite. One packet of biscuit used to be my entire meal a day. I had all kinds of mental illnesses; you name it. Depression, anxiety, dissociation (DPDR), OCD, conversion disorder (arms were paralyzed for a month, no medical cause), paranoia, etc. Currently it's not as severe but it's still there. Just that the intensity and frequency has reduced. But whenever I'm under intense stress most of them rebounds.

I left from home for higher studies at the age of 17, and got my Bachelor's degree at 20. All those years I struggled with my mental health, even though I was away from home. But I still fought through it all.

After that, I had taken a break year. 2024 mid to 2025 mid. During that time, I found what it meant to be happy for the first time in my entire life. I was 21. Something entirely shifted within me. Nothing really happened in my life, but that entire year I was the happiest I had ever been. I knew I had a lot of progress to make and a lot of trauma to work on, but ... I was at peace. I was happy. I felt free. I found beauty in everything. I was in love with life. And existence. And myself.

And then, I joined for Master's. That is when it all went downhill. Initially, it was just the mental exhaustion from all the academic workload and living situation. But after a few months it slowly turned into depression. And I was back to square one. I couldn't remember what it was like to be happy. I was just completely empty inside. And all my past trauma began to resurface.

And it has remained like that till today. Since late 2025 till now. I completed my 1st year of Master's but I'm planning to drop out. Not because of my mental health alone, but because of numerous other reasons as well. But it's still hard navigating through it all when I'm struggling with my mental health.

I wish to go for therapy but I am in no financial position to do so. My mother is the one providing for me financially. She sends me what is necessary for me to survive. So I cannot ask for more. Or atleast I don't want to.

I have never shared my trauma online before, but all this was eating me alive. I was having a mental breakdown a while ago, and I needed a place to vent. I do not have friends or family that I can turn to during times like this. I have a few good friends, but even they don't know what to say or do in situations like this. I come from a culture where expressing isn't very appreciated. Showing emotions = Awkward.

I feel a little better now, after taking it all out off of my chest. If you made it till here, then congratulations. You have immense patience, and empathy. Thank you for reading all this.

Hello, I'm 22F INFJ and my mother is INTP. I need advice from this community to help me better understand my INTP mother.

To give you a little context, my family used to be extremely dysfunctional (still is but way better). And as I am now growing up to be a fully independent adult, I'm also trying to better navigate my relationship with my family. I have an older sister who is ISFP, and a father who is ESFJ. All four of us live seperately. My sister and I are quite close, my father and I are not.

Now that I've given the context, let me explain my relation with my mother.

As a kid I was extremely close to her, to the point I was highly emotionally attached and dependant on her. We would fight a lot, but otherwise we were inseparable.

However, while growing up we started having more and more conflicts. And I started feeling distant from her. Because I began to change for the better, and she remained the same. As I grew up into a more mature adult I slowly started realising that my mother is highly dysfunctional and unhealthy.

She's extremely closed off, insensitive towards others, and thinks that emotions are weak and an "over-exagerration" that makes life unnecessarily complicated. And whenever I try to confront her about something, she'll completely twist the story and make it seem like we are the problem. She never admits her wrongdoings, never.

Even then, despite all her flaws, I still love her. Because she has sacrificed a lot for us; and loves and cares for us in her own ways. Just that not in a typical "motherly" way. She does not know how to comfort others, nor does she know how to be supportive. And she's terrible at communication.

Which is why I've turned to this subreddit to help me understand her better. I'm not seeking to understand her unhealthy behaviours nor do I want to change her, no. Because that's impossible. Rather, I'm seeking to understand her personality better so that I can learn how to coexist with her better; despite her being unhealthy.

I have a few questions for INTPs or for those who understand INTPs well.

1. What are some of the things that an INTP expects from any form of relationship? What do they seek and what do they try to avoid?

2. Do INTPs generally dislike conversations that involve anything highly emotional? Is it something that should be avoided?

3. If an INTP is being insensitive, how do you want others to take it? Or how do you want to be corrected?

4. When an INTP is irritated, annoyed, or going through something, I've noticed that they won't outwardly show it. But there'll be a lot going on in their heads. In such an instance, do you need comfort or do you want to be left alone? What do you want others to do?

5. When someone tries to confront you, how do you want the conversation to be? How can I confront an INTP while also avoiding conflict?

For now these are the questions I can think of. I would highly appreciate it if anyone could help me out. If anyone has any extra input apart from these questions, or just a general opinion, I would highly appreciate that too.

Thank you.