u/n_noenemy

I have a villain in my story, who throughout his life was subject to heavy abuse and torture as a child. He grew up in a generational cult and even eventually took it on..Blah blah blah.. Long story short, he develops what would be classified as dissociative identity disorder today.

To his character, there’s no ‘evil’ personality, he’s just a villain that happens to have DID. Every act that he commits is done on his own whim, and he, as the core, is the most conscious personality of the five in his body, and I mainly view his disorder as a coping mechanism..only switching in cases of extreme distress, where stability barely exists.

Though still, I want to search for advice wherever I can as I acknowledge many subs for DID often have rules prohibiting questions about writing characters with DID, which I completely understand. I thought that here would be a good starting point, and i’ll be willing to move anywhere as directed.

I want to note, that i’m being as careful as I can be with such a complex topic and research is very prominent with his character!

Me and my best friend were on a call together today and I was just watching him play a game, though he ended up messing something up in the game which caused a game over for him and he got extremely upset over this rightfully because he was far in it and he forgot to save.

He got upset and kind of quiet, and I felt like my tongue was just shoved down my throat. I froze fully, like I actually froze. I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t collect my thoughts and I could feel my anxiety and adrenaline rising, really all I was focused on was any potential response he’d have or something he’d say but he never said anything.

He got frustrated with me rightfully so, because I just went silent. My issue with this scenario is just how guilty I feel, because this isn’t the first time. I’ve been a freezer all my life and any kind of argument, conflict or tension just silences me whole. I feel guilty and selfish for lacking the ability and social skills to help my friend out and instead just curling up and sheltering myself because my body thinks that I need it.

How do I stop this? I really need advice for this, I don’t want to live or function like this, I want to be able to be a good friend instead of a bystander that can’t do anything but just sit and stare like an idiot. Please help me.

Im 16 years old and I have had alopecia universalis since I was 10. Right now I’m currently on a medication (Litfulo) which is being used to grow my hair back, but my hair will not grow any longer than it is right now and I have a huge bald spot that is worsening over time. I was fully bald most of the time, with small sprouts of hair that would fall out after some time and I didn’t fit in anywhere at any age and I still don’t because of my current appearance.

Having alopecia has ruined me. I know that even when I was younger that I’ve always hated my appearance whether it be my face, my body or the color of my eyes and/or hair, and I feel like alopecia was thrown at me by this world just so I could hate myself more, as if this world wants me dead quicker than I’m actually deteriorating—and it doesn’t help that I am the only one in my family with alopecia as no one on my mom or dads side, that is at least alive has it.

I feel like my alopecia, besides everything else that is wrong and has happened to me, has isolated me from people my age. I’ve never had friends in general, but I know that my weight and appearance has influenced people specifically due to the remarks I’ve received from both my peers and family.

I feel at a loss for words when I try to talk about these feelings. Just knowing I am living and breathing with an auto immune disease that has came onto me like it was some spectacular event fills me with so much existential dread and awareness of my appearance, it’s to the point where lately I have been constantly struck with feelings of suicidal ideation or at least an urge to self harm and scar up my appearance more.

I hate seeing myself because of this dumb disease, I dread seeing my appearance and I just try to avoid it as much as I possibly can because I know it’ll just set me off.