u/nannerhed

Saw a youtube thumbnail that pissed me off SO BAD I needed to write this.

Geryon is NOT as bad of a boss as people make it out to be. Geryon is not the BEST boss in the game, but it is not a BAD one!!

All the attacks are telegraphed to the point where, after you get the hang of it enough, not dying to them is NOT Geryon's fault. The Providence beams are probably the hardest attack to dodge (cuz you cant dash through the beams themselves) and the solution is to BACK UP!! Let them COME TO YOU so you know where to dodge through!!

"But Geryon isn't thematically relevant!!" Was V2 thematically relevant to Limbo or Greed?? Fuck no!!! But V2 is still one of my (and many others') favourite characters! And Geryon was IN THE BOOK!! IN FRAUD!!! THE MALEBOLGE!!! GRAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!

"You can't get close to Geryon to heal!" That's what the PROVIDENCE HOOKPOINTS ARE FOR!! THAT'S WHAT THE PINK PROJECTILES ARE FOR!!! THAT'S WHAT DOING DAMAGE TO GERYON IS FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE IT BECOMES VULNERABLE AND YOU CAN GO NUTS ON IT!! NOT EVERY ENEMY NEEDS TO STAND THERE AND EAT UP V1'S ATTACKS!!!!!

And YES Minotaur has the same problem and YES I think the Minotaur IS NOT a good boss. The difference between Geryon and the Minotaur is that Geryon gives you alternative healing options you can take both immediately and after doing enough damage. The Minotaur is both surrounded at ALL TIMES by a damaging floor and dishes out Strays unpredictably!!

Oh my god the FALL MECHANIC. I have seen SO MANY PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS THING. It doesn't restrict your movement as much as you think it does!! It DOESN'T restrict your dash at all, you can still move downward in order to block projectiles going directly at you, and there's no need to move upward more than the game allows you to!!

In summary GERYON IS NOT THAT BAD AND ALSO IM GAY

Imagine having a 90-100 pound bag of sand strapped to your shoulder at all times. You can't take it off, you have to sleep and sit with it, et cetera et cetera...

That's what Mr. Otto Kress has had to do for a good 40+ years of his life by the time Trials takes place. He might be a fairly heavyset man, sure, but I like to think he's probably got equal parts muscle and fat underneath all that. Even with Arora eating very little and only having around 1/2 a normal human body, she still has to have enough weight as to not keel over from malnutrition and take Otto with her.

TLDR Otto's probably yoked underneath all that body fat