u/naturalninetime

I'm the caregiver to my mother (stage 4 cancer), who has been on home hospice since August 1. Last night, things took a turn for the worse when we had to give her oxygen for the first time ever. Without oxygen, her levels drop to below 90% fairly quickly. Her blood pressure, which has been averaging around 138/72 over the last few weeks has now dropped to around 93/61 (just checked).

At 5:00 AM this morning, I called the hospice agency to ask for a continuous care nurse, and the hospice agent said that if my mom isn't "visibly agitated" that there is no need to send out a continuous care nurse. My mom has been on sublingual morphine 0.25 since Thursday, and at the moment, she is NOT "visibly agitated" and hasn't asked for pain meds since 6:00 PM yesterday evening (it is currently 6:00 AM here).

Am I incorrect to assume that the hospice agency should provide a continuous care nurse for my mother, whose death I believe is imminent? I'm just trying to make sure that my mom and my family have all the support that we need in my mom's final days/hours. Thank you.

*Edit: Thank you to all those who responded with information, kindness, and compassion. 🙏❤️

*Edit: My mother passed this afternoon about 8 hours after I wrote my OP. 😪 I am heartbroken and devastated, but she is finally at peace. ❤️

I'll start. I've been a caregiver for my mom with stage 4 cancer since October 2026, so for 10 months. Before that, I scheduled and accompanied my mom to all of her medical appointments for 2 years.

Since December of 2026, I've been getting paid around $1,290 a month (after deductions) through California's IHSS program. During the school year, I also work as a part-time teacher in an afterschool program for just 3 hours a day as my full-time job these days is to look after my mom. Her health has deteriorated rapidly since October 2026, and the doctors recently gave her "only a few weeks" to live, so my watch will soon be over. 😔

On one hand, I don't have many expenses because my sister has allowed me to live in her house without contributing to the bills as long as I am caring for my mom; however, in an ideal world, I obviously would not be working what is essentially a full-time job for a mere $1,290 a month. I'm also at an age where I should be out there earning to the best of my ability in order to save for retirement, so I am being screwed in more ways than one. Still, I wouldn't have it any other way, for I love my mom more than anyone in the world (even if she is imperfect and difficult).

I've read so many stories of caregivers here who have spent half their lives caregiving (for a parent, spouse, child, or even a sibling, aunt/uncle or grandparent), and I can't even imagine as to what these caregivers, many of them with little to no compensation, have endured. Kudos to all of the tireless caregivers out there who have had to sacrifice so much physically, mentally, and financially in order to care for another person. ❤️ It's often a thankless job that not even the person you are caring for may appreciate. 😮‍💨

My mother's oncologist has given my mother only a few weeks to live; however, she doesn't want to be locked up in the house pumped full of pain meds that will turn her into a zombie. (We have a hospice team on standby, so when the time comes, we will be ready to ensure that she is comfortable.)

She can't fly. She wants to visit Sedona (she has been several times), but it's too far of a drive for her.

Maybe a place within a 2-hour drive of Los Angeles. We recently took her to a nice beachfront hotel in Oceanside and to a lovely cabin in Big Bear Lake.

She is completely lucid but weak. Pain is minimal and manageable - at least, for now. A nice hotel with views or an Airbnb in a beautiful setting (she loved the cabin in Big Bear Lake)?

We're from LA, so we know all the places: Santa Barbara, San Diego, Palm Springs, Joshua Tree, etc. The destination isn't as important just as long as we can take her to a beautiful place for a few days where she can rest and spend time with her family.

*Edited: Thank you, everyone, for all your suggestions and well wishes. ❤️

​

As I lie here next to my sleeping mother, my entire face hurts from crying all day, and my heart feels like it's breaking into a million little pieces. 💔

The oncologist's "a few months" turned into just "a few weeks" seemingly overnight, and I cannot bear the thought of losing my mom, my best friend forever, so soon. For months, I prayed to some nameless higher power, "Just one more Thanksgiving, just one more Christmas together please." I'd even booked a much-needed trip for myself. "I'll be back so quickly that she won't even miss me," I convinced myself. No can do. I can't, I won't leave her side now. 😔

Fuck cancer! :(

Diagnosed in 2020 with a GIST (gastrointestinal stromal tumor). Traditional chemo not an option. She had a laparoscopy within a month of discovery, but there were positive margins. Was told that she'd have to remain on imatinib mesylate (Gleevec) indefinitely. She took the Gleevec for a year or two, but due to the harsh side effects, she stopped taking it without telling her oncologist and also stopped seeing her oncologist altogether!!! (I was living in another country at the time, and I had no idea that she'd stopped seeing her oncologist. So many people, including her stupid f*cking PCP - I'm sorry, but I get so angry when I think about him - dropped the ball.) By late autumn of 2023, the GIST came roaring back in the size of a 13 cm tumor, and my mom was put on Gleevec again, but in September of 2025, metastasis. :(

She'd had a small window of opportunity to get the tumor removed before it metastasized, but she refused surgery. Who knows if the surgery would have been successful, but I regret not having pushed her harder to have the surgery (everyone else in my family barely pushed her at all) even though at the end of the day, it was her decision.

In January of 2026, six months ago, she had a debulking procedure, including a total gastrectomy. Not curative. Simply to prolong life. All things considered, surgery went as well as could be expected, but the tumors in her liver are not responding to the half dose of Stivarga (too weak for a full dose) that she's been taking since the surgery (she completed 4 cycles), and now, her current oncologist is giving her a few months to live. :(

Three options:

1. "Rechallenge" with imatinib mesylate (Gleevec) even though her tumor grew while she was actively taking the Gleevec in 2025

2. Try ripretinib (Qinlock), which is a fourth-line (and last) therapy for patients like my mom who have previously undergone treatment with at least three other kinase inhibitors. Fewer side effects but lower efficacy.

3. Hospice

Has anyone ever been in a similar position? :( My mom is 76 years old and has lived a long life, but she is still fighting even though she is physically weak. Mentally all there.

Until very recently, she was stable and in little pain. I'd thought that she'd definitely make it until at least the end of the year, but now, I'm not so sure. I'm her caregiver and have been by her side since autumn of 2023, and my heart is breaking for my mom. 💔

I'll be based in Reykjavík for 9 days, and I just counted 16 meals (not including hotel breakfasts) in Reykjavík alone: 6 breakfasts, 3 lunches, and 7 dinners. Wowsers.🤩 🤣

There's a very good chance that I won't make it out to dinner on all 7 nights, especially if I'm beat after a long day; however, the more I research, the more I get excited about the culinary scene in the city! I just booked the Wake Up Reykjavík Food Walk for my first "dinner" out.

Also, I do plan on shopping at Bonus for snacks and sack lunches to take on some day tours.

Here's my must-try list (many are included in the Food Walk):

• Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur's lamb hot dogs

• Brauð & Co's cinnamon bun

• Sandholt (sit-down bfast: smoked salmon sandwich, avocado toast, hot cross bun)

• Reykjavik Kitchen (black seafood tagliolini)

• Café Loki

• Messinn (plokkfiskur, Arctic char)

• 101 Reykjavík Street Food (lamb stew, langoustine soup, and other Icelandic staples)

• Kemuri (vegetarian, pierogis)

• Íslenski Barinn (lamb stew, Arctic char)

• BakaBaka (bakery by day, pizzeria by night)

• Shalimar (Pakistani, lamb curry)

• DEIG Workshop (smoked salmon bagel)

• Skál! (roast lamb, beef tartar, scallops)

• Old Iceland Restaurant

• Le Kock (burgers, spicy grilled cheese and tomato soup)

• Flatey Pizza (Neapolitan pizza)

What am I missing? Does anyone have a great fish and chips rec? (I'm somewhat "adventurous" but probably won't try reindeer, whale, or puffin meat.)

First, I decided not to rent a car after all (per my last post) and to just do guided tours out of Reykjavík instead.

I'm a caregiver for my mother, who fell very ill last year, and this past year has been insanely tough, so I'd been looking forward to an adventure (hitting the road in a car and just seeing where it would take me), but renting a car by myself was starting to look costly (around US$ 1,300 for 6 days, including insurance, fuel, and parking), and I didn't want to worry about driving, navigating, weather, etc. I lose some freedom, sure, but at least now I can let others deal with the logistics and just relax and enjoy the scenery - and hopefully meet some cool people too, which would have been much harder to do in a car by myself.

Believe it or not, my trip turned out to be roughly $900 cheaper this way!

✅️ = booked and paid (both non-refundable and fully refundable)

🔸️DAY 0 - depart

🔸️DAY 1 - arrive KEF at 7:00 AM; considering heading straight to the Blue Lagoon from the airport, but I can't decide if I even want to visit the place 😆; same goes for Sky Lagoon, which someone else described as a "Vegas pool party" (not my vibe) 🛏 Alda Hotel ✅️

🔸️DAY 2 - Snæfellsnes Peninsula tour with EastWest ✅️ 🛏 Alda Hotel ✅️

🔸️DAY 3 - Golden Circle tour with EastWest ✅️ 🛏 Alda Hotel ✅️

🔸️DAY 4 - free day; since I'll be moving hotels, maybe I'll explore Reykjavík before checking into CityHub 🛏 CityHub ✅️

🔸️DAY 5 - Westman Islands tour with Arctic Adventures (not booked yet; I can move this tour to another day, but I definitely want to visit the Westman Islands - a MUST for me) 🛏 CityHub ✅️

🔸️DAY 6 - 2-day South Coast tour with Nice Travel ✅️ 🛏 tour hotel ✅️

🔸️DAY 7 - 2-day South Coast tour with Nice Travel ✅️ 🛏 will probably book CityHub again

🔸️DAY 8 - free day; very interested in the Horses and Hot Springs tour with Eldhestar; also considering overnighting at Hvammsvík Nature Resort, which gives me access to the hot springs (Has anyone stayed here?) 🛏 not booked yet

🔸️DAY 9 - free day 🛏 not booked yet

🔸️DAY 10 - depart KEF 11:25 AM

In hindsight, if I'd known that it was just going to be me (my friend was originally supposed to join me) and that I'd only do guided tours instead of driving myself, I would have shortened my trip by a couple of days, but until 2 weeks ago, which is when I started planning this trip 🙆🏻‍♀️, I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to travel because of my mother, so I had to book my flight at the last minute and ballpark the number of days. As it stands now, I've got some days to fill up!

All suggestions welcome. Thank you! I couldn't have gotten this far and so quickly without this subreddit! 🙏

Late July. My traveling partner couldn't make it this trip, so I'll be based out of Reykjavik for part of my trip and joining guided group tours (versus renting a car and driving the Ring Road, which is what I'd originally planned to do).

• Day 1: Arrival & Reykjavík
• Day 2: Snæfellsnes Peninsula with EastWest
• Day 3: The Golden Circle with EastWest
• Day 4: Whale watching? Lagoons? Caves? Horseback riding? (I did a glacier hike in Patagonia, so all good on that front.)
• Day 5: Embark on a multi-day tour?
• Day 6:
• Day 7:
• Day 8:
• Day 9:
• Day 10: Depart

For days 5-9, I'm flexible, but I would love to see all of the following: the South Coast (Seljalandsfoss, Skógafoss, Reynisfjara black sand beach, Jökulsárlón glacier lagoon, etc.), Landmannalaugar and Sigöldugljúfur Canyon in the southern highlands, and possibly Stuðlagil Canyon in the east. How could I make this work? 🤔 Should I just skip Stuðlagil Canyon since it's far from everything else that I want to see?

All suggestions welcome. Thank you. 🙏

10 full days and 10 nights in late July. First time in Iceland. 2 people.

1. As noted below, in which towns should we stay the night along the way?
2. Best spot for a half-day horseback ride?

All suggestions welcome. Thank you! 🙏

• Day 1: Arrival & Reykjavík. Pick up rental car at airport and overnight in Reykjavik
• Day 2: The Golden Circle. Thingvellir National Park, Geysir, Gullfoss, Brúarfoss. Worth visiting the volcanic crater and/or the Secret Lagoon? Overnight in Hvolsvöllur.
• Day 3: Landmannalaugar, Sigöldugljúfur Canyon, and Bláhylur Crater. Jeep excursion from Hvolsvöllur with Midgard Adventure. Overnight in Hvolsvöllur.
• Days 4: South Coast. Seljalandsfoss, Skógafoss, Reynisfjara black sand beach, Jökulsárlón glacier lagoon. Overnight in Vik.
• Day 5: Eastfjords. Overnight where?
• Day 6 & 7: Lake Mývatn & North. Hverir, Grjótagjá cave, Dettifoss waterfall. Overnight where for 2 nights?
• Day 8: North Coast. Visit Akureyri and maybe a whale-watching detour in Húsavík. Overnight in Akureyri or Húsavik?
• Day 9: Snæfellsnes Peninsula. Complete a loop around the peninsula. Overnight where?
• Day 10: Blue Lagoon and overnight in Grindavik (Geo Hotel or Northern Light Inn?)
• Day 11: Depart

I almost didn't watch OBSESSION after I read all of the comments from Redditors. "OMG. I couldn't sleep last night. The scariest movie I've ever seen!" Aaaaaaah! 😱

But I finally got around to watching it today, and I'm so glad that I did because frankly, it wasn't even that scary!

Maybe it's because my Gen X ass grew up watching THE EXORCIST late at night by myself on TV when I was 9 or 10 years old. I also used to watch Elvira's Movie Macabre by myself - all sorts of spooky cult films that a child should not have watched by herself. And what about the clown from POLTERGEIST? Hell-o! Talk about traumatizing!

I'm not really a fan of the "horror porn" and "body horror" that seems to be popular right now, so I tend to skip a lot of horror movies these days, but I have to say that OBSESSION definitely lived up to the hype. Great horror flick. And It was pretty funny too!

Has this already been discussed ad nauseam? Because I still find it insane that the films of a 20-year-old director and a 26-year-old director held the #1 and #2 spots, respectively. Congrats to Kane Parsons and Curry Barker! This has got to have some Hollywood execs scratching their heads. 🤔 (I haven't seen BACKROOMS yet, but I finally caught OBSESSION today.)

On a side note, my favorite film of the year so far, SILENT FRIEND, has grossed just a little over $300K, but I noticed that THE SUPER MARIO GALAXY MOVIE has a domestic gross of over $427 million and is about to surpass the billion dollar mark worldwide! On a hot day, I reserved my ticket for this film (I'm an AMC A-Lister) because it was playing in the Dolby theater at my local cinema, and I wanted to take a nice nap in a reclining chair. I did catch about 10-15 minutes of it, and what I saw was just so awful. 😞 I get that the first film was a huge hit (though I didn't see it) and that it was a big draw for kids and families, but...

Who will be able to overthrow the Mario Brothers? Woody and Buzz Lightyear? Christopher Nolan?

1. ...your favorite?

2. ...least liked?

3. ...the most unexpectedly good?

4. ...most disappointing?

5. ...one you'd planned to watch but skipped?

6. ...the last film you watched?

7. ...the next film you'll watch?

8. ...the most anticipated upcoming film?

9. ...the most likely to be a Best Picture nominee?

I saw the preview for HOPE on the big screen before the film I watched today, got excited, and came to Reddit to discuss when I saw the post about the Australian journalist Helen Barlow's completely asinine comments at the press conference in Cannes. 🤬

Barlow asks her question (from off screen) at the 31:46 mark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XOMclwALL8

"Hi, Michael. Hi, Alicia. Um, I don't know the rest of you [...]."

I had to watch it for myself because at first I thought that maybe her words might have been taken out of context, but nope, they most definitely were NOT. We can even observe how Barlow's inappropriate comment made Michael, Alicia, and Taylor uncomfortable.

Barlow is a journalist at a press conference for a KOREAN film written and directed by a KOREAN filmmaker, one who is NOT new to Cannes, and she has the nerve to address the filmmaker and his cast in this manner? Wtf?!

My God, even if she wasn't familiar with Na Hong-jin, Hwang Jung-min, Jo In-sung, Jung Ho-yeon, and Taylor Russell, the very least she could have done was her goddamn job as a professional journalist and showed up prepared to ask an interesting question that is relevant to the film, but she couldn't even do that! What stupid, f*cking questions she asked: "I'm just wondering if the director could say why he wanted to cast Michael and Alicia. Two actors for the price of one maybe? [...] I mean in terms of getting a package, a married couple and everything [...] Why did you want to cast them in this film basically? And how did it go? Was the concept for two English language speakers originally?" 🙄

EDITED: To those who are saying that Helen Barlow wasn't racist, she could have just opened with "Hi, everyone" and then proceeded to ask her dumbass questions; instead, she made a BIG POINT of saying that she didn't know anyone on that panel - other than the two WHITE actors. 🙄 Whether her attitude stemmed from laziness, ignorance, prejudice, or all of the above, it was still "racist" because I have no doubt that her lack of interest in the non-white artists on that panel stemmed from the fact that they were NOT WHITE. Period.

Toothbrushes with extra-soft bristles like the Nimbus Microfine or Curaprox CS 5460 Ultra Soft sound good. Anyone use these?

Are the GUM Proxabrush Go-Between Cleaners worth it? I've been using the cheap ones that my dentist gives me by the handful every time I go in for a cleaning, but the brush part doesn't last long, and the metal is flimsy.

Do you have Data Sharing with Honda enabled or disabled?

I just disabled mine. Do I need to worry about any of the following?

"Key disadvantages of disabling the feature:

🔸️Loss of Remote Services: You will lose the ability to lock/unlock doors, start the engine, or check fuel levels via the HondaLink app. [I don’t use the HondaLink app, so...]

🔸️No Over-the-Air Updates: The vehicle will not receive remote updates for software glitches, including reported issues with the 2026 infotainment screen, display freezing, and backup camera issues.

🔸️Disabled Safety/Security Tracking: Stolen vehicle tracking services may become unavailable. [I don’t pay for this security feature, so...]

🔸️Potential Feature Conflict: Some users have reported difficulty adjusting settings or maintaining stable connectivity if data sharing is disabled while using certain infotainment features."

I just enabled the automatic parking brake feature (watched a simple tutorial on YouTube) on my 2026 CR-V hybrid after someone recently informed me that I should always use the parking brake every time I park. I've been driving for 35 years and had no clue! 😮

"Yes, you should use your parking brake (emergency brake) every time you park, regardless of whether you are on a hill or on flat ground. Using it consistently prevents the parking pawl inside your transmission from breaking, reduces stress on your drivetrain, and acts as a safety backup."

Question 1: I valet park my car every time I take my mom to the hospital (about once a week). Do I need to inform the valet attendant that the automatic parking brake has been enabled?

Question 2: If I wash my car at a car wash with an automated conveyor, do I need to disable the automatic parking brake?