u/ndhockey15

My best friend, who has CPTSD, has starting using phrases like "that's just part of my CPTSD" "my therapist doesn't think it can get better" "i'll always have it because there's no cure for CPTSD".

She knows the hell i've gone through with my own BPD recovery and now i'm in remission.

Hearing her speak is like looking in a mirror of my past self and I'm very upset by this. I continue to do the work, i continue to grow, better myself, and continue to end bad cycles in my own life.

I have tried to help, i have absolutely spent far too much energy on her and tried to "fix her", i've given advice, i've given her money, i've done so fricking much.

my therapist told me i wasn't lacking empathy i was just exhausted of trying to spend my energy on people who can't be fixed and i'm just upset about it.

in another session i paced and she told me i was acting afraid and i had to figure out what i was afraid of. I wasn't afraid of being abandoned i was afraid of the effort having to be put elsewhere and having to make new friends because this friend has been draining me.

i realized then that HER BEHAVIOR AND LACK OF INITIATIVE AND REPEATED BAD BEHAVIOR IS TRIGGERING ME.

she won't put in effort. she's not being honest with her therapist. she is comfortable being unhappy and that's not what i want in a friend. That's actively bad for my mental health. I love her but this doesn't feel like love. There's no room for my issues because her issues are so monumentally bigger. I don't feel like she has space for our friendship. I don't support her decisions and maybe that makes me the bad friend or maybe just incompatible as a friend.

I'm sad and i'm hurting and i'm okay and i know this is part of the process of growing, but man this SUCKS.

How do i even deal with this?

TLDR,

my friend won't do anything about her situation, i feel like i'm staring at my past self and i don't support her choices anymore. she's actively triggering to me and i feel like a bad friend for it.