u/nerdresudue

I don't know how to stop resenting my sister after what happened.

Three years ago, in January 2023, my elder sister and I were traveling by train when we met a guy sitting across from us. We rarely talk to strangers, but there weren't many passengers in the coach, and somehow we ended up chatting. He was around our age, very extroverted, and before leaving we exchanged Instagram IDs.

I forgot about him after that trip, but a few days later my sister told me they had exchanged phone numbers and had started talking. She was going through a difficult time because her bf had married someone else, and I genuinely wanted her to heal and move on. The only thing I told her was not to get too emotionally involved with this guy. I also had a bad feeling about him from the beginning.

In October 2023, we moved back to Delhi. One day, without telling me beforehand, she invited him to our apartment. I only found out when he rang the doorbell. I was upset because I didn't think it was appropriate to invite someone over without discussing it first, especially when we didn't even have an extra room. She brushed off my concerns and told me I was overreacting. I eventually gave in because she insisted.

Over time, I tried to accept him for her sake, even though I repeatedly told her I wasn't comfortable around him. She always dismissed my concerns.

Then came December 2024.

We traveled to another state for one of her friend's weddings. She asked me to go with her, but she didn't tell me that she had also invited him. She even introduced him to everyone.

The wedding itself was fun. We ate, danced, sang, and because it was late and cold, everyone slept wherever they found space.

Sometime during the night, I felt something on my chest. I was exhausted from traveling and could barely open my eyes, but I realized someone was sucking my chest. I suddenly woke up and pushed the person's face away.

It was him.

I froze. I was shaking. He immediately pretended to be asleep.

I ran to the bathroom, washed my face, and woke my sister up. Since there were so many people sleeping around us, I couldn't say it out loud, so I texted her everything. I couldn't stop crying.

Later she asked him about it, and he claimed he didn't remember doing anything.

Instead of believing me, she started saying it was probably "just a mistake."

When we got home, I confronted her. She defended him by reminding me of all the times he had helped us. Then she said something that completely broke me.

She told me that because they usually kissed and got physically affectionate, he probably thought I was her in the dark.

I couldn't believe she was trying to explain away what happened to me.

She wanted me to talk to him, but I refused. She promised she would stop talking to him, but she lied.

One night I woke up to get water and accidentally saw notifications from him on her phone. When she noticed I had seen them, she quickly hid her phone. We argued, and that's when I realized she had been talking to him behind my back all along.

I know she still talks to him in secret.

I love my sister, but every time I see his name on her phone or know she's still choosing to keep him in her life, I feel sick. I become angry, distant, and honestly start to hate her in those moments.

The assault itself traumatized me, but I think what damaged our relationship even more was that my own sister chose to defend the person who assaulted me.

How do you cope with the resentment when someone you love keeps choosing the person who hurt you?

My sister-in-law has been living with us since her marriage. My mom gives her a monthly allowance of ₹30,000 even though we're just a middle-class family. My mother also handles most of the household responsibilities except cooking, which my sister-in-law and I do together.

The problem is that every couple of weeks, my sister-in-law stops talking to us, starts taunting us, and posts stories on social media (sad quotes) that make it seem like we're mistreating her. This time, though, she crossed every line.I told my parents that they should sit down and talk to both my brother and sister-in-law about what's going on. But they refuse. They keep saying that confronting them will "break the family" and that we should stay quiet.

What frustrates me even more is that my parents carry all the financial responsibility. My mother pays for the electricity bills, groceries, clothes, and most household expenses (My brother and I don't spend a single penny). My father works from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. in our family business. They have never demanded anything in return from anyone.My parents have always valued education. After my brother got married, they even took responsibility for my sister-in-law's B.Ed. studies and supported her in every possible way. Yet I rarely see any acknowledgment or appreciation from her side.

My father believes that avoiding conflict is the only way to keep a family peaceful. But at this point, it feels less like peace and more like sacrificing their self-respect to avoid confrontation.

Maybe I'm too emotionally involved, but watching this happen over and over again is becoming painful.

Idk how to cope with it.

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(P.S.My parents don't believe in dowry, not even in the form of gifts.)

In 2025, I ordered two pairs of sandals from SSS... one for my sister and one for myself. Tbh the delivery took around 15 days but the sandals were actually of really good quality especially considering how affordable they were.

Today I randomly decided to look up the store again but I can't find their Instagram page anywhere. It says the account is not available in India.

What is happeninggg??? Did Instagram ban SSS India or did they deactivate their account? Does anyone know what's going on???