u/neuroticnoodlebowl

I just need somewhere to express my frustration and vent!! I am a FTM to a perfect 7 month old girl. I’m just soooo frustrated because our families just do NOT respect our boundaries. We said no kissing while she was a newborn. My MIL would still kiss her and then be like “hehe oops, not supposed to do that!” Then we loosened the reigns a bit once out of the newborn phase and allowed kisses on top of the head. Maybe that was a mistake because now we’re saying “please no kissing as we enter cold/flu/RSV season” and nobodyyyy is listening!!! We gently remind people every time they hold her. My MIL had my baby’s hands in her mouth last time we saw her! My mom keeps kissing her forehead. My step mom kissed her hands. Ugh! Maybe it’s me being too crazy?? I know she is just very loved and I love that, but I almost feel this primal (?) sense of protection as we enter sick season. It’s making me feel crazy!! It makes me never want to let people hold her lol and then these same people want to spend time with her alone……. How am I supposed to feel comfortable leaving my baby with you when you won’t even respect our boundaries right in front of me? Ugh! She won’t take a bottle so that’s not an option anyway but… grrr! I hope I don’t always feel this crazy about this lol. Thanks for giving me the space to vent!!!

Our schedule is a bit off today and I’m just wondering what other parents would do in this situation so I’m better prepared the next time our schedule is off lol. For reference, LO is 5.5 months old and her bedtime is usually around 9:30pm.

Last night she fell asleep at 9:40 PM
Today she woke up at 8:35 AM
First nap was at 10:59 AM, she slept for ~56 mins
Second nap was at 2:50 PM, she slept for 1hr 45 mins

So with that… the predicament I was in was whether to do a very short 3rd nap around 7pm and have a later bedtime tonight or to just try doing a 2-nap day with an early bedtime?? We haven’t tried 2 naps yet. I’m also trying to play with daytime sleep totals right now because she is currently waking up 4-6 times every night and I wonder if she’d wake up less with less daytime sleep. Anyway, what would you have done?? Appreciate any insight!

FTM over here and feeling a bit lost with baby sleep. I don’t really have anyone in my life who can offer reliable insight so here I am looking for that from reddit friends :) my girl is 5.5 months old and still waking every 1.5-3 hours at night. She literally will ONLY go to sleep if I nurse her (which is totally fine with me!) but I am admittedly feeling quite tired lately with the frequency of it. Can anyone look at our schedule and let me know if there’s something I’m doing wrong or just not understanding? Or is this just something that will hopefully improve with time? I’m definitely not expecting her to sleep through the night at this point! But she used to give me 4.5-5.5 hour stretches so I’m just missing those days lol

Notes:
- baby will pretty much only nurse to sleep, will sometimes fall asleep in the car or stroller if we’re out and about. if dad has to put her to sleep, he usually relies on swing or stroller
- 3 naps per day and all 3 are feed to sleep then contact naps. she almost always wakes up if I try transferring her to crib
- loosely following wake windows, pretty much going by her sleep cues with wake windows in mind
- haven’t started solids yet
- average daytime sleep is usually 3ish hours (+/- 30 mins), nighttime sleep is usually 10ish hours
- still room sharing, mini crib near our bed
- certified pacifier hater

Wake up: usually between 8-8:30am
Nap 1: usually 2-2.5 hours later, will last anywhere from 45 mins to 2 hours (I usually cap it at 2 hours if she does go that long)
Nap 2: approx. 2.5 hours from nap 1 wake, lasts 45 mins-1.5 hours depending on how the first nap went
Nap 3: approx. 2.5 hours from nap 2 wake, usually just a power nap to get us to bedtime, lasts 20-30 mins
Bedtime: kinda depends on how her wake windows played out for the day, but usually sometime around 9-9:30pm lately. we do bath every other night, listen to some music, diaper change, lotion/massage, pjs, read 1-2 books, sleep sack. nurse to sleep and she usually falls asleep in 5-10 minutes. For the first stretch, I am unable to transfer her into the crib unless it’s been 60+ mins of her sleeping in my arms. Every single time I’ve tried before then, she wakes up :(
Middle of night: she’s waking up every 1.5-3 hours right now (3 hours if I’m lucky!). She will not settle back down herself (which is understandable), so I do have to nurse her back to sleep and she usually falls back asleep in 5-10 mins. I usually have to wait at least 30 mins til I can attempt to put her back in the crib. Last night she would wake up after an hour in the crib almost every time (yawn)

I think that’s everything?? Apologies for such a long post but I truly appreciate any advice y’all can give. I’m feeling a bit lost and honestly kind’ve alone right now even though I’m clearly in good company here lol. Thanks all!!

ETA: we have tried co sleeping! doesn’t work for us unfortunately… she still wakes up often and she wakes up all excited and ready to party lol

FTM looking for some help and/or reassurance. My baby girl is 21 weeks and she is ebf. I am really struggling because she will pretty much ONLY fall asleep if I nurse her to sleep (bedtime and naps) and then I struggle with putting her down. Here’s what our days/nights typically look like:

-wake up around 8-8:30 AM
-first nap is usually 1.5-2 hours later
-3 naps per day which last anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours, not very consistent, mostly contact naps because she almost always wakes up if I try to put her down (or will only last 20-30 mins once put down)
-wake windows are anywhere from 1.5-2.5 hours, we mostly follow her sleepy cues
-bedtime usually around 8-9, just depending on how the day plays out with her nap lengths

I’m really struggling with putting her to bed at night. Our bedtime routine is bath (every other night), change diaper, lotion/massage, get into PJs, read book(s), sleep sack, nurse to sleep. She falls asleep very quickly! But I cannot for the life of me get her down into the bassinet unless it’s been over an hour! I’ve tried doing drowsy but awake, I’ve tried putting her down just as she falls asleep, after 6-8 minutes (I’ve seen that’s a magic number??), 15 minutes, 30 minutes… Most of the time these are failed attempts and she wakes up and then is sometimes veryyy difficult to put back to sleep. If I wait an hour or so, then I can put her down and she usually stays asleep.

She used to sleep 6.5 hour stretches until about 3 months. Now she will sometimes give us 5.5 hour stretches, but not consistently. Usually it’s 3.5 hour stretches, which is fine. But these middle of the night wake ups are pretty similar… She will only fall back asleep if I nurse her and I end up being awake for over an hour usually before putting her down due to failed attempts or just waiting for the right time.

Is there a world where an ebf fed-to-sleep baby becomes a good sleeper or is easier to put to bed? Or should I really consider some form of gentle sleep training at this point? I’d really like to avoid sleep training if possible

I’m sure there’s info I’m leaving out so happy to answer any questions. Thanks in advance for reading!

Ftm here feeling quite confused about what people mean when talking about “bedtime.” My LO is almost 11 weeks old. She’s eating every 2-3 hours (ebf). We often have to wake her still to eat lol she’s always been a sleepy girl so she doesn’t really allow us to feed on demand because we’re usually waking her up to eat throughout the day.

Sooo I don’t really understand how to know when her “bedtime” is?? Right now we’re feeding her every 2-3 hours until like 12:00 AM and then we’ll put her in her bassinet and she’ll sleep for 6ish hours before waking to eat. If we don’t do our last feed at 12 AM then I don’t think she’d be getting enough feeds in the day, right? And another thing is that we’re still doing contact naps pretty much alllll day/night so between the hours of 8pm-12am we’re just kinda keeping her sleeping on us in the living room while we chill out watching tv with the lights off.

Should we be putting her in the bassinet sooner and just sitting in bed next to her lol? I guess I’m just feeling confused and how to classify “bedtime” while also making sure she still eats enough throughout the day?? Am I dumb? Please help me understand lol!