u/nightwingprime

I’m really really tired of having to put an enormous effort into everything other people do effortlessly. I’m tired of my own thoughts and how loud they are. I’m sick of the stupid cycle where i hyperfixate then deflate into a burnout. I’m tired of ruminating and of feeling everything tenfolds. Of being late and of not knowing what day or time it is

My house is messy, there’s 10 different things on my list all of which are half done. I’m exhausted and i have made 0 progress. I feel like my entire body is made of tungsten due to how much efforts it takes me just to move.

I can’t make a solid connection with anyone due to how inconsistent I am. I can’t get close to people because i don’t have enough energy for intimacy and yet I long to be known.

I thought meds are going to help and they did for a couple of months. But I see now that i’m going to have to do this as long as I’m alive.

I don’t really know how much more of this I can take. It feels like just existing and doing the bare minimum is a lot of effort at this point.

Just clocked that Rocky calls the “don’t go crazy” room boring because he can’t see the screen yet.

He uses echo location (i think?) to see. So he can’t read anything without texturized surface. No screen and no clock because the numbers were printed so there was nothing to reflect the sound off of.

So to him it’s just an empty room with black walls. A few scenes later he invents that device with the crystal so he can “talk to the screens” then he can see what’s on grace’s computer.

It’s been bugging me since my first time watching and I got super excited when i figured it out 😂