u/nothingsreallol

My 2014 Prius C sat dead for 1 year (through a cold winter and everything). Surprisingly we were able to jump it (Saturday afternoon). I drove it for a total of about 2-3hrs that night and each time I had to turn it off it died again. Jumped it 3 separate times Saturday. Topped off gas. Since then it has sat dead in my parking garage.

Got it from a used car dealer in 2020 with 94k miles. It currently has 144k miles. No work has been done on it in my possession besides oil changes and brake pad replacements. It’s beat up and dented but nothing was ever really wrong with it.

Currently looking into getting a new 12V battery and replacing it myself. It looks like I’ll have to get the $260 Toyota brand one since it’s a special model. What’s the best place to order/pick these up from? Ideally I need it replaced before Saturday so I can go to work without having to worry about jumping it before and after work (also idk if it’ll continue to jump or eventually that will stop working as well?)

What are the odds my hybrid battery needs replacing? How will I know if it does? What else will I need to get checked out that could’ve gotten messed up in the year it sat dead? I don’t have a regular mechanic that I go to, I have a couple friends that know cars that I could ask to check it out but I’m not sure how much they know about hybrids. I’m nervous to walk into a random shop and get upsold a bunch of unnecessary stuff because I don’t know what needs to be done.

There is nothing good left in my relationship. It feels completely empty. Why am I still here? Why can’t I just up and leave?

It is often said that people stay in toxic relationships because they’re addicted to the ups and downs. But for us there are no ups. There haven’t been for a long time. Probably a year, and we’ve literally only been together 2 years.

I feel pathetic. I feel like a horrible person for acting like I’m still in this relationship when really I have one foot out the door mentally. Logistically, right now would be a perfect time to leave. But every time I think about bringing it up I panic.

Part of me feels like if we didn’t live together I could do it and that’s the main thing in my way. I can’t imagine telling him I want to leave and then arguing about who gets what set of plates.

I banged out a draft of my final research paper in 2 hours Friday night. Like all the research and writing I did in under 2 hours. To be fair it’s a 100 level course and the paper was supposed to be max 7 pages. But anyway I thought that was the roughest draft I had ever written. I was planning to practically rewrite the whole thing, I just wanted to get some feedback so I could see what my prof was looking for. If you can’t tell I’m a perfectionist…

Draft comes back with a 3.8/4 and prof told me to stop being so hard on myself 😂 part of me really wants to edit it because it’s not even close to being up to *my* standards but I guess I don’t really need to. Fellow perfectionists, what would you do? Lol

I haven’t been in therapy (or any type of treatment whatsoever) since 2022. I’m finally seeking it out again because I just really need a neutral party to talk to and help figure out what I’m doing with my life. But I’m still pretty cynical about it. Unintentionally, I’m kinda going in with a negative mindset. I’m trying to push that aside but I’m worried I’ll end up with a therapist who’s either quiet/unhelpful and gives generic advice, or a “yes-man” that just encourages everything I do or say. I don’t want either of those. I don’t actually know what I do want or what I feel will help me. I constantly think about the phrase “no one can help you unless you want to help yourself” … do I want to help myself? Or do I want to just stay comfortable in my misery and toxic patterns? Idek.

I have a consultation tomorrow and I have no idea where to even start. I’m painfully self-aware of my issues and I’m a big oversharer so I’ll probably just end up yapping on and on for the first few sessions. I think my biggest issue is lack of a solid identity. Classic bpd, I know. Also I don’t plan to tell her that I’ve been diagnosed with Bpd before I want to just see what she thinks, does that make sense? What should I say if she asks about past treatment and diagnoses?

Hi, I’m in my first term at UMPI (yay!), I’m doing a psychology major with a sociology minor and I transferred in 24 total credits from previous university experience. I am planning to do all of my classes at UMPI, I’m not in a huge hurry and I feel this will look better for grad school apps. Anyway…

How the heck should I be choosing classes? I like learning, I want to pick electives I will truly enjoy! But when looking through my Degree Progress Report in the student center and clicking on “view course list” under each requirement, there seem to be so little options. It also seems somewhat inaccurate! When looking at the “YourPace Course Offerings” listed publicly on UMPI’s main site I see so many more options. How should I know where to start? I’d rather work on a mix of electives and core requirements at the same time so that I can have some variety each term (hoping to finish in 5-6 terms).

I tried to ask my Academic Success Coach and I was deeply disappointed in her vague impersonal response. She gave me no real guidance besides letting me know that MAT 101 isn’t offered through YourPace so I should take MAT 201 instead (how was I supposed to know this? It doesn’t show that on the DPR list as far as I can tell, and MAT 101 IS on the public site list whereas MAT 201 is not!?!)

For anyone that took the majority of their credits and chose electives through UMPI, where should I start and what information should I rely on in terms of what’s offered and what classes count towards what requirements?

I generally go to sleep between 3-5am. Yesterday I had a long day and I decided to go to sleep at 1:30am. I thought this would be good because I have a ton of schoolwork to do so I should be waking up at a “normal” time to start doing it.

JOKE’S ON ME because I slept until 3pm anyway😃 yeah I woke up a couple times to pee but I had exactly 0 energy to do anything besides go back to bed. Now it’s 4pm (which is about the time I usually get up) and I haven’t done anything. To make things worse I started feeling a headache come on midday yesterday and it’s still hurting rn. I think I’ve been getting migraines but I can’t say for sure that that’s what these are, idk.

I started school July 6th. I’m paying out of pocket and it’s a competency based program so I go at my own pace. It’s not going well. I still can’t get out of bed even now that I have something to do (for the previous year I was basically a NEET so I slept all the time with no consequences). I’m scared I’m throwing away money because I don’t have the energy to complete the courses I’m paying for. No insurance so I can’t see a doctor. Ugh.

I’ve been using Smalls for almost 2 years but I’m looking at other options right now mainly to try and save money. I know Smalls isn’t raw, it’s cooked, but I still feel like my cats have been healthier on it than any canned (or kibble of course). I’m nervous about switching from cooked to raw because my older cat has a sensitive stomach and my younger one can be a bit picky. They also have always done amazingly on Smalls when it comes to coat health and scentless poops (anytime I’ve given canned as a treat or backup their poops get bad lol). Are there any solid cooked fresh options that might be cheaper? Can anyone ease my worries about raw for a cat with a sensitive stomach? She also has been hacking up massive hairballs lately and I’m trying to figure out how to manage that.

My cats are both girls, both about 10lbs, 2yrs and 5yrs, I aim to feed 180-200cal each per day (vet approved). Smalls packets are about 90% of their diet then they get a tiny bit of Dr Elsey’s kibble and various treats (the younger one would kill me in my sleep if she didn’t get some dry food, I was using Ziwi Peak and Vital Essentials but that became too expensive). I am currently spending about $185/month on Smalls and about $30/month on kibble/treats.

From my research on this sub, BJ’s Raw looks to be possibly the cheapest raw option for my situation, but I saw someone mention that the 80/10/10 formula is not truly complete. It’s also a combined protein formula so they wouldn’t have variety. I don’t want to have to cycle through a bunch of different options to find one that works because I know that will upset my sensitive girl.

I am in the US but possibly moving cities very soon so a local pet store is not really an option right now. I’d like to find something with good shipping standards. Unfortunately it’s not feasible for me to make my own food at this time. Thanks for your help!

I need to get out of where I am now. I’ve always loved the idea of the east coast. I’m from the midwest so winters don’t bother me. I’m in a very big city now so I’m not really scared of homeless people/drugs/whatever else people complain about with cities. Honestly I’m kind of a homebody anyway. But I like cities and feeling like I’m surrounded by people even if I don’t go out much.

I’m accustomed to making $25-35/hr serving or $35-50/hr bartending (in tips not hourly). I’ve been at the same place for 5yrs and it’s a casual chain, so I don’t have fine dining experience. I’m down to work at pretty much any type of place I can get hired at that does decent volume.

I’m very interested in Maine, it’s been one of my dreams to visit since I was a kid so now I’m thinking why not move there? I would plan to take a trip there first to apply for jobs and tour apartments, but I need to choose a city first and be sure because I don’t want to pay for a whole trip just to not move there (unless I seriously hate it). Portland is the obvious choice but I think it will be out of my price range. I have enough savings to get me through a few months without a job but the main concern would be getting approved for a place. Ideally I would need to lock down a serving or bartending job where I can make at least $3k a month.

Besides Portland I’ve looked at Brunswick, Lewiston, Bangor, Rockland, Augusta. It’s hard to get a sense of how the hospitality industry will be in these places. I’m assuming summer is their busy season because of tourism, but unfortunately I’d probably be moving in the fall.

I’d love to hear from others in the industry (I wasn’t sure if this post would fit on industry subs). I’ve also considered Pittsburgh or Philly, Boston, and NYC if I could afford it but that’s doubtful. I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck. I do have ways to have other sources of income beyond serving as well.

Backstory is I’m trying to find a way out of a toxic relationship without going full mental breakdown butttt we live together… I am diagnosed with bpd, he’s not diagnosed with anything but there’s definitely something there lol

TW for emotional abuse I guess?

I’ve been practicing “grey-rocking” basically and I do okay at it but sometimes I slip up and give an emotional response during conflict and it makes everything worse. Once it escalates from him being slightly annoyed at me to being irrationally angry, insulting me & my friends & family, going on long rants of everything he hates about me and people like me and the world, I start to get sooo dysregulated. My whole body will start shaking, I’ll often feel cold and get shivers, I’ll lose my appetite, get nauseous, have a hard time holding back tears. If I have work or household chores or anything to do, fucking forget it. I am unable to be productive in this state. This can last for hours. It ONLY stops when I can tell he’s not mad at me anymore. I’m so upset I allow him to have this much control over me. The entire time I’m giving myself affirmations in my head, focusing on breathing, trying to remove myself from the situation and distract myself however possible. But my body only truly calms down when I sense that his anger is gone. It’s so frustrating.

So with all this in mind, it feels impossible to ever bring up something as confrontational as breaking up. Once I’m calm, I want nothing more than to stay calm, and not have to deal with those horrible symptoms for as long as I can keep them away. Bringing up any issue means putting myself in the situation to feel extremely dysregulated for who knows how long. And initiating that conversation could also mean subjecting myself to a tirade of insults that I won’t be able to unhear. Words cut really deep for me. Even a random stranger insulting me could make me insecure, and this is a man I’ve been with for 2 years. I know logically the things he says about me aren’t all true and that he’s mostly just projecting and trying to get under my skin, but still I’m so scared he’ll ruin my self esteem forever. I am also supposed to start an online school term in 3 weeks and I’m terrified that any large conflict will leave me completely dysfunctional and I’ll be out $2k :/

I’d prefer anyone that has similar personal experiences to give actual tips of skills you’ve used to get through things like this. Books/videos/articles/online courses are cool but executive dysfunction go brrrr (I will put it off and not read/watch)

I’ve always had this sense that I know what will happen in the future, and I’m often right. I’m not religious and I don’t really believe in any spirituality or anything paranormal so I constantly tell myself that this is a delusion, I cannot see the future, nobody knows what will happen. But still I keep being right about things. And that solidifies this feeling I have deep inside that I can predict the future. I think part of it is that I have very good pattern recognition and I can sort of tell how things may play out. I also often have dreams that come true soon after (which could be subconsciously by my own doing ofc, I know this). In the end it may all be a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it feel inescapable and out of my control.

ALSO separately I have always had the idea since I was very young that I will be rich and famous. This idea has morphed in different ways over the years but it’s still always in the back of my mind. Like even if I die young (which I predicted as a child) I think that somehow my story will get out to the world (like my mom will find my notes with poems and share them and they’ll go viral). Is this a delusion or an aspiration? What part of it is healthy goal-setting and what part of it is completely crazy?

So I guess there are three concepts here: delusions, pattern recognition, and aspirations/goals - how do I separate these three in my mind?