u/nothingsreallol

I’ve been using Smalls for almost 2 years but I’m looking at other options right now mainly to try and save money. I know Smalls isn’t raw, it’s cooked, but I still feel like my cats have been healthier on it than any canned (or kibble of course). I’m nervous about switching from cooked to raw because my older cat has a sensitive stomach and my younger one can be a bit picky. They also have always done amazingly on Smalls when it comes to coat health and scentless poops (anytime I’ve given canned as a treat or backup their poops get bad lol). Are there any solid cooked fresh options that might be cheaper? Can anyone ease my worries about raw for a cat with a sensitive stomach? She also has been hacking up massive hairballs lately and I’m trying to figure out how to manage that.

My cats are both girls, both about 10lbs, 2yrs and 5yrs, I aim to feed 180-200cal each per day (vet approved). Smalls packets are about 90% of their diet then they get a tiny bit of Dr Elsey’s kibble and various treats (the younger one would kill me in my sleep if she didn’t get some dry food, I was using Ziwi Peak and Vital Essentials but that became too expensive). I am currently spending about $185/month on Smalls and about $30/month on kibble/treats.

From my research on this sub, BJ’s Raw looks to be possibly the cheapest raw option for my situation, but I saw someone mention that the 80/10/10 formula is not truly complete. It’s also a combined protein formula so they wouldn’t have variety. I don’t want to have to cycle through a bunch of different options to find one that works because I know that will upset my sensitive girl.

I am in the US but possibly moving cities very soon so a local pet store is not really an option right now. I’d like to find something with good shipping standards. Unfortunately it’s not feasible for me to make my own food at this time. Thanks for your help!

I need to get out of where I am now. I’ve always loved the idea of the east coast. I’m from the midwest so winters don’t bother me. I’m in a very big city now so I’m not really scared of homeless people/drugs/whatever else people complain about with cities. Honestly I’m kind of a homebody anyway. But I like cities and feeling like I’m surrounded by people even if I don’t go out much.

I’m accustomed to making $25-35/hr serving or $35-50/hr bartending (in tips not hourly). I’ve been at the same place for 5yrs and it’s a casual chain, so I don’t have fine dining experience. I’m down to work at pretty much any type of place I can get hired at that does decent volume.

I’m very interested in Maine, it’s been one of my dreams to visit since I was a kid so now I’m thinking why not move there? I would plan to take a trip there first to apply for jobs and tour apartments, but I need to choose a city first and be sure because I don’t want to pay for a whole trip just to not move there (unless I seriously hate it). Portland is the obvious choice but I think it will be out of my price range. I have enough savings to get me through a few months without a job but the main concern would be getting approved for a place. Ideally I would need to lock down a serving or bartending job where I can make at least $3k a month.

Besides Portland I’ve looked at Brunswick, Lewiston, Bangor, Rockland, Augusta. It’s hard to get a sense of how the hospitality industry will be in these places. I’m assuming summer is their busy season because of tourism, but unfortunately I’d probably be moving in the fall.

I’d love to hear from others in the industry (I wasn’t sure if this post would fit on industry subs). I’ve also considered Pittsburgh or Philly, Boston, and NYC if I could afford it but that’s doubtful. I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck. I do have ways to have other sources of income beyond serving as well.

Backstory is I’m trying to find a way out of a toxic relationship without going full mental breakdown butttt we live together… I am diagnosed with bpd, he’s not diagnosed with anything but there’s definitely something there lol

TW for emotional abuse I guess?

I’ve been practicing “grey-rocking” basically and I do okay at it but sometimes I slip up and give an emotional response during conflict and it makes everything worse. Once it escalates from him being slightly annoyed at me to being irrationally angry, insulting me & my friends & family, going on long rants of everything he hates about me and people like me and the world, I start to get sooo dysregulated. My whole body will start shaking, I’ll often feel cold and get shivers, I’ll lose my appetite, get nauseous, have a hard time holding back tears. If I have work or household chores or anything to do, fucking forget it. I am unable to be productive in this state. This can last for hours. It ONLY stops when I can tell he’s not mad at me anymore. I’m so upset I allow him to have this much control over me. The entire time I’m giving myself affirmations in my head, focusing on breathing, trying to remove myself from the situation and distract myself however possible. But my body only truly calms down when I sense that his anger is gone. It’s so frustrating.

So with all this in mind, it feels impossible to ever bring up something as confrontational as breaking up. Once I’m calm, I want nothing more than to stay calm, and not have to deal with those horrible symptoms for as long as I can keep them away. Bringing up any issue means putting myself in the situation to feel extremely dysregulated for who knows how long. And initiating that conversation could also mean subjecting myself to a tirade of insults that I won’t be able to unhear. Words cut really deep for me. Even a random stranger insulting me could make me insecure, and this is a man I’ve been with for 2 years. I know logically the things he says about me aren’t all true and that he’s mostly just projecting and trying to get under my skin, but still I’m so scared he’ll ruin my self esteem forever. I am also supposed to start an online school term in 3 weeks and I’m terrified that any large conflict will leave me completely dysfunctional and I’ll be out $2k :/

I’d prefer anyone that has similar personal experiences to give actual tips of skills you’ve used to get through things like this. Books/videos/articles/online courses are cool but executive dysfunction go brrrr (I will put it off and not read/watch)

I’ve always had this sense that I know what will happen in the future, and I’m often right. I’m not religious and I don’t really believe in any spirituality or anything paranormal so I constantly tell myself that this is a delusion, I cannot see the future, nobody knows what will happen. But still I keep being right about things. And that solidifies this feeling I have deep inside that I can predict the future. I think part of it is that I have very good pattern recognition and I can sort of tell how things may play out. I also often have dreams that come true soon after (which could be subconsciously by my own doing ofc, I know this). In the end it may all be a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it feel inescapable and out of my control.

ALSO separately I have always had the idea since I was very young that I will be rich and famous. This idea has morphed in different ways over the years but it’s still always in the back of my mind. Like even if I die young (which I predicted as a child) I think that somehow my story will get out to the world (like my mom will find my notes with poems and share them and they’ll go viral). Is this a delusion or an aspiration? What part of it is healthy goal-setting and what part of it is completely crazy?

So I guess there are three concepts here: delusions, pattern recognition, and aspirations/goals - how do I separate these three in my mind?