u/nunyaranunculus

My mother texted me what's in my post title a couple weeks ago and I am still messed up about it. I spent my entire childhood and adult life until 9 years ago desperately trying to be someone that she could love. For as long as I can remember, she has told me that she wishes I hadn't survived my birth, that she only ever wanted my twin brother, that I can't do anything right, that I am inherently unlovable, that she and everyone else are happier when I am not around. I won't get into the abuse and neglect since I think those are implicit in what I've said already and don't have any interest in surfacing that trauma for myself or anyone who might read this.

I finally surrendered and told her after the umpteenth time she made this sentiment clear that I loved her enough to remove myself from her life. That I wanted her to be happy, even though it would mean effectively losing my entire family. It was so hard. But eventually, I realised that I had internalised the definition she imposed on me and didn't even allow myself to fathom that I could be a good person let alone intelligent, capable, or successful.

In that time, my career has fluorished, my relationship with my partner strengthened, and I now refuse to accept abuse or being disrespected by other people. I'm actually happy. Content. And most of the time, I forget I even had a mother, brother, or extended family. It's not like anybody ever reached out in that time, so it wasn't difficult to forget them.

So what the hell changed, mother? Why now do you miss my love? You rejected it my entire life. You used words, violence, physical denigration, religion, money, and family to make it clear that you hated the very breath in my body. All I ever DID was love you. I just wanted you to love me back, be proud of me, accept me, or, barring any of that, even just look at me without searing revulsion.

I just wanted a mom and did everything I could to make you want to be mine. I separated myself because you told me you couldn't be happy with me in your life.Doing that fucked me up for a long time because if my own mother can't love me, who can? I love my children with every fibre of my being and would die for them without hesitation. That's natural. It's normal. So what is it about me that is so repulsive that it defies the natural order? It took me years to overcome it and correct my own self perception and accept that I am not the monster in this situation. She defies nature, not me.

I'm disappointed that six words from her can still unsettled me to this extent. It's bringing up things I thought I had resolved in myself and I am furious with myself for giving her mind share.

LETTER: Yet another reason not to cross the Canada-U.S. border | Surrey Now-Leader

Just a heads up. My partner was in Calgary from MTL on business and stayed at the Sheraton Suites Calgary Eau Claire location and woke up covered in bed bug bites. He informed the staff and their response was to follow up with an email saying that Housekeeping checked the room and didn't see bed bugs. That was it. No further action taken.

He didn't ask for compensation, just wanted to make sure that it was taken seriously so the guests and staff stay safe. Management determined that a visual inspection was sufficient despite the fact that my husband sent them images of the bites, which are classic presentation of bed bug bites. The assistant manager said that, since no bed bugs were seen during the visual inspection after housekeeping had already been in the room and cleaned, no further actions were deemed necessary. Which means that room is actively in use by new guests.

We will be escalating this to Alberta Health Services and to Sheraton corporate.

Like I said, my partner doesn't want compensation of any sort. We both travel frequently for work and paranoid about bed bugs. This is a nightmare. My main goal in posting is awareness and to hopefully prevent others from dealing with the same thing. We threw out everything - luggage and clothes - because like hell anything that was in that room is coming into my house.

Be careful. Avoid that hotel.

EDIT TO ADD: He showed hotel staff/the assistant manager the bites when he informed them and then sent images via email when he reported that way as well.

I am extremely skeptical of influencer marketing. I'm in my 40s and started working a new job that requires me to do a lot of presenting, conferences, etc and I needed to get some makeup beyond mascara for the first time in years. Everything has gone so full coverage it looks and feels like house paint. I am not good at putting on makeup so anything that requires extensive blending, blotting, dabbing, whatever I'm not going to do.

I tried BB creams and they didn't work because the shades are wrong and even they settled weird and were messy. I wanted something that was like a bb cream but better and something that doesn't look like makeup.

Jones Road's demand gen/ad team is to be commended because they got their targeting and frequency just right. I finally bit the bullet and bought the miracle balm, foundation, face pencil, and mascara.

I haven't used the face pencil yet, but I have used the other three and wow. It feels like a really good moisturiser going on, brightens, and just kind of blurs things a bit. Even better, it lasts all day.

I have a client meeting later today and just put it on because I know I'll be in a mad rush to leave later.

It's amazing stuff.

Hello! I have a history of hypoechoic ovarian cysts, but haven't had one in quite a while. Yesterday while I was out for my afternoon walk, it became pretty clear I have one. The pain has gotten worse overall, but especially when I'm walking or trying to pee. The pain is localised by my left hip bone and is radiating into my back and groin. Fwiw, I'm not constipated. I'm wondering at what point I need to worry or go to the doctor. Also if anyone has any tips on how to get a doctor to not dismiss me out of hand, I'm open to suggestions. I have a severe medical phobia because twice in the past 6 years I've been dismissed when I went to the doctor with symptoms and wound up in the ICU. So I won't seek any type of medical treatment unless it's absolutely an emergency.

I go to a lot of shows, and this ranks easily amongst the best I've seen. RIP my voice.

I'm coming next week and staying in a "king premiere" room. Is this a nice room? Anything I need to consider?