u/nymph0fs0ngs

To start this off, I'd like to say that I am an openly trans man, and the person who I will be talking about today (and looking for advice on how to handle this person) has known I am trans for months, perhaps even over a year, so yeah.

It all started with me saying I envy cisgender men and how they are able to look in public, etc and it started a whole conversation about gender and the social stigma in our and other communities.

It eventually got them wondering WHY I was trans, and asked me my main reason, etc. I told them my reasons, and they told me “It sounds like you were just looking for something to fill a space,” followed by, “I feel like it's about accepting it's not who you are though.”

I responded quite sarcastically, and said, “So you're saying I HAVE to accept that I can't be a man? Really?”

I proceeded to say that being transgender is what I am, and what I will continue to be as well as saying that no “acceptance” will make me love being a woman. I said it might be wonderful and great to be a woman for some people, but it was not for me. I repeated thoroughly and firmly that I am a man.

They responded with, “It takes time. It's really hard, Ill be honest.” At first I thought they were talking about transitioning, passing, etc., but I realized they were talking about accepting one's biological “gender.” (Im going to use this word bc I don't wanna tag this post as NSFW !! dw i know that gender and the other term are completely different and range in so many ways)

They responded to what I said before (“So you're saying I HAVE to accept that I can't be a man? Really?”) with “Yes, its about loving who you are. I found myself a lot happier when I truly understood.” To which I found insane, considering I told them I was much happier identifying with he/him pronouns, and they're telling me I could be happier as a woman.

I repeated that I do not feel comfortable being a woman, or anything that falls under the term. I said that being transgender may be a difficult and bumpy ride, but it is one that I am happier on (as opposed to watching other people define me). I told them being trans is truly me, and if they were going to reflect on my genuine self like this, then we seriously couldn't be friends.

They told me, “Just don't do anything your gonna regret,” and didn't even have the gall to use the correct grammatical term while insulting me. They doubled down and said (after I pointed out the fact they couldn't even spell the word “you're” right and still insults me) “Not insulting you, just voicing my concerns and explaining ways to get better.” Like, what? I'm not mentally ill because of my gender and identity, and them saying that is just vile (in my opinion).

I told them that saying such things like this quite literally can get kids and adults alike killed (I did an extensive study about stuff like this for my finals presentation).

I told them to dni, and they just said “Okay”

any advice guys.. glup

EDIT: please excuse any spelling errors!! i posted before reading it thru lol

About two to three weeks ago, I had a huge breakdown and I thought my friends were getting more distant and were going to leave me (i have huge anxiety about being left, hated, or just basically not mutually liked by my friends) so I was like “fudge it, its better to leave before they do, right?” (4am btw) and I blocked my friends on every single social media, messaging app, etc. This was right before my friend's birthday, which I did not attend because I was scared and like, i blocked them?? why would they want me there??

So, a week had passed and one of my friends contacted me through one of the apps that we were friended on, but I never really touched it and asked if I still wanted to go to their birthday (different friend from before), and I reluctantly agree. I went to the little gathering they had planned, and they didnt even acknowledge me. they didn't say hi, they didn't look at me, and they DEFINITELY didn't speak to me except when absolutely necessary. The friend who invited me to their birthday party/gathering was supportive, albeit a little hesitant about me. I hugged them, said i was so sorry (it was rlly js whispering so they might not have heard me?) and then we got occupied with something else.

After the birthday, I hadn't spoken to any of them for two days. And then one of my friends sends me a message about "how i hurt them" and how they want me to know how much I hurt everyone in our friend group.

I got really pissed off, and said some really victimizing stuff, saying how I felt I had to scream and announce to the entire world that I wasn't ok, and that I was struggling a lot with my mental health. I told them to fuck off, essentially

I told them they were killing me (mentally), to which they responded "then why do you say we mean anyting to you? I hope you're better off without us," and they didn't say anything after that. A day later, I wrapped myself together and sent a huge message about how I was sorry, that it was wrong of me to say the things that I said, and to miss their birthday party. That I should've been there, essentially.

We haven't spoken since, they never responded. I want to be friends again, so so badly, and Ive accepted that that might never happen again - because I hurt them all so much. But I miss them so much, and I miss being hugged by them, I miss our inside jokes. I cant even look at our photos together because I start sobbing, and I don't wanna ruin the paper

what do I do sos??

okok so to elaborate, my mother wants me to do junior lifeguards. for people who don't know what that is, it's a 5-day "training week" from 9am to 2pm every day. I'm transftm, and being in a bathing suit (or even shorts + a rash guard) gives me insane dysphoria.

Not to mention that I've already done this two other times, and the last, I got violently ill (couldn't walk, speak, and could barely eat bc I was throwing up everything that I ate)

The stuff they make you do is HORRENDOUS. they make you run the entire beach as well as swim it (and repeat 2-3 times), they make you practice paddle board rescues which requires TOUCHING people i DONT KNOW (im not the most touchie person, and I absolutely loathe being touched unless it's by someone I trust)

I would also like to mention that I have asthma, which makes it harder for me to swim/run long distances. i also get like really painful leg cramps that prohibit me from standing for too long, as well as running and walking.

I've begged my mother and father three times for me not to go. they're very adamant that I do go, and they've barely seen it from my side. my mother says she understands and respects my identity, but does she really if she's going to force me to do something that makes me want to rip my own skeleton off??

genuinely, i don't know what to do - im prepared to sacrifice everything and just use her gmail to email the people that I won't be attending. because they don't know what i gotta go thru on that fuckass beach and i WILL resort to extreme measures.

guys what should i do sos sos sos

haii, hello, sorry to post about this, but I've been looking for Honey Dice for quite a while, and I haven't been getting the silly ☹ I don't know the etiquette for this server (nor do I know how I should undergo asking to steal cat cakes or how that works), but I'm determined so I'm going to just outright ask — if anyone has aventurine cat cakes, and is open to stranger's on their cart, PLEASE send me your UID or a friend req 🙏🙏 i really dont mind

my UID : 622930709 !!