u/octobermoon91

Hi! I have seen posts from years past but I am currently wondering what the current average or standard case load for a RN case manager looks like? I moved from hospital bedside nursing to hospice 2 years ago and have remained with the same for-profit company. I am very burned out and I notice that we have a rotation of case managers. One of the longer lasting nurses, who has worked here for close to 5 years, turned in her resignation this week. I thought perhaps I was the only one fatigued and burnt out until now. Our case loads as case managers range from 20-24. What are you guys seeing?

He is a very spiteful person as I have learned over the last year and a half. He does not normally act spiteful towards me, but a couple months ago during a fight he told me if he wanted to end things he’d do something to make me hate him. Obviously, why not just be an adult and end it, but I was tired and let it go. This week, he did do something to make me hate him because he was tired of me or something (im still confused and confused why he can’t just man up and end it if he wants that). It wasn’t infidelity but it might as well have been.

I confronted him, a huge fight ensued. Then, came the breakup part. I helped him pack his bags, even. Then before he was to leave he said he didn’t want this and wants to work things out and give it three months. I begrudgingly agreed and went off to work. I realized I couldn’t continue as normal without repair on his end from what he did. I tried to talk about it with him, which turned into him getting mad and saying he’ll just leave. So I told him okay go get his bags. I went inside and started doing dishes. A little while later he came inside and hugged me and said he still wants to work it out.

My question is - he did something to hurt me and make me hate him on purpose. He keeps saying he wants to leave during these fights. Why is he changing his mind? Obviously this is toxic. I’m just not in a good head space right now and I don’t like to make decisions until I am. Just curious from men why he did this but won’t accept the breakup and leave? I didn’t want this, any of this, much less the breakup. But is that not why he did what he did to hurt me?

TLDR; boyfriend caused our breakup on purpose then changed his mind - why?

Edit to add - just wondering about the psychology behind this behavior and why people do this. I know what I have to do, and have a plan. Thanks.

I likely would not be able to move due to having a child with my ex husband and this city is out of state and about 12 hours away. I have sole physical custody but in my state he could contest the move and petition for custody. I love where my bf is from and I’d love to move with him; I never wanted to stay where I live.

He used to say, home is wherever I am. But since his child graduated high school this year he has been feeling empty and yearning for his old life back home, before they moved here. He also mentions feeling insecure, like he hates himself, has nothing to show for his life, etc. We have moved in together in the months since his child graduated if that detail is important for anyone.

He’s gone to visit his home city three times in the last 5 months or so. Each time he’s gone, he’s come back less happy. It’s an entirely different culture as well, one that is not so prevalent where we live.

My question is, have any of you been in this situation -either my role or his- and how did that go for you? I am gutted. I’ve known for some time this was coming, and tonight he pretty much confirmed that this is what he’s going to do (move back), he just doesn’t have a plan yet.

TLDR; broken hearted as my boyfriend decides he has to move back to his home city 12 hours away and I likely couldn’t go due to having a kid here