u/oilyskinlife93

I'm in the position where out of all my friends, I am the only one who has had to exclusively formula feed. So far, there have been 7 other babies born and all of them have managed to breastfeed exclusively eventually.

I am shut out of conversations on a regular basis because they are all talking about breastfeeding, their supply, how they weaned etc. and I am just sat there. I know it's important they have support to breastfeed and it's a big part of their motherhood journey, but it feels like unless I meet them one on one, I inevitably end up sat in silence for a portion of the time and feel so excluded.

I've also found out one of my recently postpartum friends is now getting really close with another mutual friend that they didn't really have a close bond with before because of breastfeeding. I am doing my best to support this friend (checking in, dropping off food without knocking on the door, offering errands and never asking to see them or baby etc) but I feel hurt that I am doing all I can to support her and the only person she wants to talk to is someone who breastfed. I get that's selfish of me and she needs to do what is best for her, but I'm starting to wonder if this is it for me, every time someone has a baby/talks about babies I'm going to be reminded of the fact that I couldn't breastfeed and I'm the odd one out.

I don't really know what to do with this feeling, it's dragging up all the guilt and sadness of not being able to breastfeed either child again. I'm out of the formula feeding stage now and I won't be having any more children, but I was the first to have a baby and I just feel like I can't do this for another 5 years while everyone else has babies and just breastfeeds.

I don't really know what to do. I was diagnosed with PTSD during my last pregnancy because of the birth trauma from my first, I've had therapy but tbh I haven't been able to let any of it go, I'm just better at not thinking about it until I'm not.

Seeming to find this harder than the first time. I'm back on Monday, this is my last baby so my last maternity leave and I am literally throwing up my anxiety is so out of control.

I don't understand why, I've done this before, I know I settled in and I got into the swing of things pretty quickly and my eldest was fine. I know all of that, and still I'm genuinely so anxious I can't eat, I'm struggling to sleep, I'm vomiting, I'm teary. I had an anxiety attack at 4am this morning.

I don't even know what specifically I'm anxious about. It's just a general sense of dread. I'm sure the build up is worse than the going back but I can't seem to get myself under control and I'm ruining my last few days with my babies.

How?

My toddler (2 nearly 3) will not leave me alone as a general rule. I can manage this except when I need to get the baby to sleep. My 10 month old is finally accepting cot naps, but because my toddler won't leave me alone to put the baby down I can't actually get her to nap at all because the toddler is both making noise and doing it basically on top of me.

I've tried explaining to the toddler, giving the toddler snacks, toys, TV, begging, pleading, once shouting and even once locking her into a safe room so I could put the baby down but toddler screamed without stopping so loud I still couldn't get the baby down. Nothing works, the toddler will not cooperate.

This is completely unsustainable - the baby is exhausted all day and I'm getting to the point where I'm so frustrated with the toddler that I'm considering putting her in nursery full time 5 days a week (she currently does 3 mornings) and take the financial hit, which I have never wanted to do.

No additional needs at play, no real jealousy issue between toddler and baby.

My 9 month old has started biting me. Unfortunately she has 10 teeth so it hurts and bruises if she gets me properly. This is not fun for me but is developmentally normal so whatever, I'll manage.

What I can't manage is my parents acting like my 9 month old is fully aware of what she's doing and doing it on purpose to hurt me, and I am being a bad parent for not, and I quote, "getting a handle on that". Apparently by not disciplining my 9 month old for doing 9 month old things, I am setting her up to be an aggressive child and I'll be having phone calls home from the school about her. No word on what disciplining a 9 month old actually looks like, presumably I'm not doing it right until she's crying.

So on top of being covered in lots of tiny little bite marks, I'm now in for a lecture about it every time I see them. As if I personally forced her to grow so many teeth and it's my fault I can't explain biting to a 9 month old.