u/onwaytotheropeXx

easy for you to sleep easy for you to eat

maybe the snake of guilt

only bites those who don't know how to weep

the road of hell i had to walk

the poison i drank from your

wound

turned my pink tongue dark

sorry

these kind of tongues

usually forgets how to sing sweet songs

but you dont know

you will never know

because you won't let your conscience

come infront of

your face like our great fathers

you will use alcohol for escape

but you dont know you will never know

because it is easy for you to sleep

it is easy for you to eat.

here is my heart

for your cold blade

rotten is the fruit of your love

rotten is mine that turned into hate

don’t wait

go and ruin more and add them it into your list

list of your failed expeditions

expeditions in search of love

give absence and call it your fate.

here is my heart

for your cold blade

rotten is the fruit of your love

rotten is mine that turned into hate

don’t wait

go and ruin more and add them it into your list

list of your failed expeditions

expeditions in search of love

give absence and call it your fate.

who would you talk to?

i would talk to the things i talked to before you

the walls, the silence, the hours with no name

i would talk to the void you came and filled i would talk to

the void you left me with again

i would talk until another shoulder learned to hold what mine once did

until the head that used to ache beside me found

somewhere else to rest

somewhere that didn't need to hurt to be held.

Change

Change

Change of heart

Change of who you once loved to the one now in their arms

Change is an inevitable brush don't try to resist its strokes

you were once chosen by someone now someone else is

at your spot,

not all stay with just one

not all have an oath nailed to their heart

for some souls words are just wind they fly when needed to the distant stars

it takes commitment to sail the ship you choose some

spend their lives leaping from boat to boat

peace and acceptance wont be on that path

still i hope their god grants them both.

I(M26)was so full of zeal few years back but after my best friends death i think i kind of lost interest in the things which use to give meaning to my life or maybe im trying to find excuses and not being man enough. I enjoyed books movies and use to write a alot but since many years i cant do anything.I thought it was screen time i deleted youtube instagram even after years of deleting it i still i cant pay attention to movies or books .i resumed workout since 3 months im getting in shape but still i cant pay attention enjoy what i use to.I know you guys will suggest therapy actually in my country therapy is still not norm but even if i still find someone it wont work ,i dont know what to do i think i just had to get this off my chest .

I want to cheat on you

I always hated cheaters ,my friends who cheated on their girlfriends i always despised them, but now i know why i hate them,i hate them because i don’t have the guts to do the same.
i always had this guilt that always lingers behind my head,now that i know i’m not good person but someone who just lacked spine.

I hate my self because i fell for you,the one who cheated on me,the one who i forgave but never really changed.
The one who always starved me of love and affection because of your past lovers broke your heart and trust you made me carry the weight of wounds I never inflicted.

Sometimes i feel like i should have never loved you so deeply,you were the wrong person to be my first lover
for the way you ruined the idea of love for me.

The person who was supposed to teach me what love felt like instead taught me what loneliness feels like beside someone who claims to care.
You made affection feel conditional,vulnerability a foolish move,and devotion a weakness.

I mourn the version of me that believed love would be safe.I mourn the boy who thought giving his whole heart would be enough to put smile on your face.

The thought of cheating on you should feel wrong.It should break something inside me. But after everything,it doesn’t feel bad to me.
I’m sorry.