u/openallthewindows

The silence is deafening. I’m usually asleep hours ago but now just laying in bed. Last night with the cat. He’s picking him up later today along with the last of his stuff. This is going to be hard. I feel like failed us. So many what ifs going through my head

It sucks but I think it’s for the best. Ever since I got sober I’ve realized how incompatible we were and how it was always me trying. I stopped trying and of course since it was only a one way thing it fell apart quickly. Last month he told me he doesn’t want to be in the relationship, now he is starting to move stuff out of the house. I’m scared of being alone again and starting over at 32. I keep thinking if it’s the right choice. Lots of memories good and bad over the past 5 years. I’m just so tired

I quit vaping almost a year ago, quit drinking 195 days ago, and smoking weed 164 days ago. Just relapsed and hitting dispo vape again. Relationship of over 5 years is done, still in that horrible in between where they are still living at my house. The stress got to me. I know I’ll be able to stop again once this nightmare is over but I caved and did it. It feels good and I feel weak.