u/orangegih

It has been five months since I lost my beloved son, Pedro.

I was 15 weeks pregnant when I felt intense pain in the middle of the night; I went to the bathroom, and he was born right into my hands. I had to hold his tiny body and come to terms with the fact that I had lost everything that day.

This is our story—Pedro’s and mine.

I’ve thought about taking my own life many times since that day; the only thing holding me back was a lack of courage, because I didn't want to die in pain—otherwise, I would have done it.

What I want to tell other mothers today is that when people say you learn to live with the pain and it becomes "easier" (though I don't think that's quite the right word), it is true.

Two weeks ago, I woke up without the urge to die. It all happened because of a thought or a memory—I think I had read somewhere that "your child would want you to move forward."

In my case, I was thinking about separating from my partner and living in seclusion until I had the chance to give up on everything and end my life. Then, I had this thought: "My son wouldn't want his mom and dad to separate."

That simple thought gave me the courage to keep living.

You might think that’s a silly thought, or that it doesn't matter because it doesn't heal your pain. What I can tell you is that nothing will heal your pain, but when people say you learn to cope with it—it’s an indescribable feeling; the wound is still there, but it is possible to move forward.

The wave of grief will still wash over you from time to time, but you will be able to breathe again, even while missing your baby.

Sending love to all the moms in the group ❤️

Pessoal eu tenho um apê que comprei em outubro de 2025 pelo MCMV e agora eu vou morar com meu noivo na casa dele, vi que no contrato tá dizendo que não posso alugar que é só pra minha moradia e acho muito difícil eu conseguir vender o imóvel, tem mais 5 apartamentos vendendo lá e ninguém comprou até agora.

Outra coisa, minha vó e minha mãe moram lá também e eu iria continuar pagando as parcelas com a ajuda da minha mãe e da minha avó.

Tem alguma solução?

Edit: Pesquisando aqui no grupo vi alguns comentários dizendo que faixa 3 (minha faixa) pode alugar, acho que vou fazer um contrato de aluguel!

Has anyone ever felt like this?

I lost my baby at 15 weeks due to chorioamnionitis, it's been a month. His name was Pedro because of the Bible.

When I think about moving on, I only think about giving up because I don't want to be a mother anymore, because I wanted to be the mother of that specific baby. I feel incomplete and I feel like I won't love my children like I loved this one.

It might be a bit of a whim of mine, but I always wanted a boy first, with that name, I would sing Bible songs to him and teach him the way of God.

Perhaps it's just a whim of mine, but I always wanted a boy first, with that name, so I could sing biblical hymns to him (a specific song) and teach him the way of God. He would be born in September and would be 3 months old at Christmas, when we would go to Christmas Mass and he would be taken by the priest to celebrate the baby Jesus, as they do every year with a younger baby, and it would be so divine, but my dream ended.

People say that nothing will replace my baby and that I'll have other children, and that comment sounds so absurd to me; I don't understand what they mean.

My religion doesn't say that unbaptized babies go to heaven, it only says that we should believe in God's mercy and that they are in heaven. I don't believe that, unfortunately I think my baby isn't anywhere. I no longer have faith, I'm not angry with God, I just gave up on faith and everything. All the good that was in me died.

I feel so lost about how to continue, should I continue my marriage? Try to have children? What's the point of trying for children if my baby, who was my biggest dream, isn't here with me? What's the point of getting married if we won't have a family?

I apologize if the text is not well written or easy to understand; English is not my native language.