u/osddelerious

Joe says something like nabudan when he’s talking about Italians. What is the word and what does it mean?

One of the podcasts I listen to said that Dr. Richard Loewenstein read a paper of his a recent conference that anchored a lot of people with DID. I can’t find any information about what he said, and I like to read opinions, contrary to mine so I can learn. I’m aware his presentation probably comes with a trigger warning, but this is not the kind of thing that would hurt me in a dissociative way.

Does anyone know what he said? I don’t know if it was an ISSTD conference or not, but any help here would be appreciated.

TW - talk of sexual desires for one gender instead of another, subtle reference to past SA

It’s been a good week of alters returning from dormancy after two protectors fronted for about 7 months and the rest of us cocooned for safety as hard things were processed.

But now I feel kind of sickened by these (for me, as a part) unwanted homosexual desires. I don’t care about orientation and am happy for other men if they are gay, but I am both uninterested in gay sex and triggered bec of the past. So this is both unappealing and painful to the point it’s triggering dissociation/DP/DR.

I know it is good as this kind of problem is likely caused by increasing integration, but I’m not suddenly bisexual and I’m left with desires that belong to me as a system but not to me as an alter.

Any lesbians out there with sudden and unwanted desires for men? Any gay men out there with sudden desires to have sex with a woman?

What am I supposed to do? I feel sick to my stomach and both repulsed and aroused by the same thought.

Are there any good and safe gatherings or conferences for plural or dissociative people?

I have been in therapy for about 20 months and alternately feel like all this is new and then like I am starting to get it. I don't have parts take over for long periods of time without the rest knowing (is the people mean by blackout amnesia?), in case that is relevant. But I have one or two who are behind the scenes and definitely keep things from me and are almost totally unknown to the rest of us. They don't want to front, afaik.

I am a protector and I have been fronting for months and my therapist recommended I make a contract all parts will agree to about fronting and access to front and all that. That sounds so legal and cold, but I just see it as an agreement to share and try to get closer to one another. Some parts are quite close, but others are lone wolves. And I am very alone and would like that to change. I think.

What would I put in this kind of contract/agreement? My system isn't usually full of parts that want to switch all the time, but no parts being around but me for months isn't good. There are maybe two daily living parts/ANPs, but then I was a reactive protector at first and now I am a daily dude too.

Any suggestions welcome, thanks in advance.

I’m up to mid-2024 and suddenly she’s talking about someone named Jules who must be her girlfriend.

What happened to her husband? Then he was on the podcast an then she’s talking about Jules again?

I heard she deleted some podcasts, so maybe that is why is going on.

But who is Jules and did she delete one where she is now lesbian and no longer married?

I am married but my wife doesn't spend time with me or want to be around me because I am autistic and we are very different. She denies that, but we spend no time together and she is dismissive and always too busy to even talk. On top of that, she feels my alters/DID is overwhelming and so she doesn't know my alters and the only part she does know is now fused with another and so not present. She doesn't seem to get that the only chance we have as a couple is for her to get to know the new host/main fronters.

The problem is that being alone/unwanted at home is triggering due to childhood trauma and so I am constantly upset and on guard and triggered at home. I am a protector who has been fronting for months at a time since October 2025.

How are we supposed to heal if I am the only part out and home isn't safe? I mean, I am strong and can endure this, but I can't heal attachment trauma when it is ongoing and there is no downtime and acceptance. I can continue working and living, but not heal. Or at least I don't see how to heal in this situation.

Thanks for starting r/PDID! I have DID but I’m excited to learn more about this related condition.