u/palmosea

Hello everyone.

Im 23 M

Rhuematoid has effected every aspect of my life. Theres not a single thing i do from texting to walking that I do in the same way. No im not talking about frequency but the actual way in which I move my hands, as little things like the distance between letters on the screen and how hard i press on a button while typing changes the severity of pain.

I experience little to nothing, when im mindful and reduce how much my hand types around the screen. When I type something out. And its not even accessible to me all the time. Sometimes I straight up just sleep not because im tired but because theres not a single activity I can do including texting that requires going through pain. Since its inconsistent and fluctuates throughout the day.

My parents are incredibly self focused people (not seeing how issues effect people outside of them). Not in every way, but this way specifically: they only notice when I cant do something if it inconveniences them. Not me or how it effects my life. They dont pay attention to what I cant do that inconveniences me or makes life more difficult, boring, would be tedious than when i was healthy. I cant do any fun activities. I cant journal like I want to. I cant use my laptop. I cant write or draw on paper. I cant take care of my plants. I cant make money from doing something and use it for myself. I cant work- which they dont care about or see the difference in because I struggled with working before. But I outright cant work. Which is a major difference. I cant trust ill be reliable on a laptop job. Even with accommodations such as voice control im scared that they'll be a technical issue or that Ill be too sickly feeling while sitting on the chair for hours and hours.

Im not in a stable zone. I dont have medicine that works for me yet. I was diagnosed 3 months ago and my life has changed very quickly, because they onset nearly overnight to an extremely bad point.

But essentially. Ive been asking and begging for help. And theyre telling me that its inconviencing them and that I have to be lying because they only noticed the things I struggled to find out I can do and dont make me completely miserable. Or things I have to do for myself (theyre not setting my appointments, messaging doctors, or applying me to disability). Im doing all on my phone.

They see me on my phone, and say that it makes no sense that I cant carry piles of clothes. Move boxes of stuff around. Bend. Etc. Organize well. As though not only that effects them more than it does me. But also that the other way its impacting my life dont matter. And the basis and argument is always, you can use a phone. It confuses me.

I understand rheumatoid can be an invisible illness very often. But even then I dont understand the logic. Are you guys able to use your phone but struggle with chores, especially without tools (like arthitis sticks, etc?). And using keyboards, buttons, bending to get stuff, etc?

There are certain movements with my wrist that hurt like crazy. While other ways I move my wrist dont at all. Its very specific in how and what causes me pain and it took a lot of time trying motions out to figure it out.

Is that normal?

It also doesnt a lot of sense to me when the pain is experience is full body but people hyperfixate on my hands. My hands arent even the most painful part of my body. And someone displays in front of me, "look just do this, its just your hands!" And they bend their neck, bend their knees, bend their ankles, move their neck around, and move their wrist in large motions up and down. While i avoid many wrist gestures, reduce the amount I bend, and try not to walk too much because of ankle pain.

Hello everyone, i was struggling with pretty bad psychosis and it went on for a year straight. I would have delusions and it would severely lapse my judgement/logic and reflection of my own thoughts.

I believed in absolutely insane things and I didnt have to see or hear it. It was discernably happening in my head but, I had believed other things were causing it to happen there. Which had gave room for pretty terrible delusions that worsened to a point of non functioning every quickly, even though I did go to work with it. Instead of eventually going away, it worsened overtime. And it did get to the point that I couldnt work with it, because i ended up believing that things were happening to me that weren't. Or things around me etc.

My family had intervened, removed me from all my stuff. Which removed me from the stuff that was causing me psychosis. And I lost money that i was pouring into nonsense due to not working. And overtime i realized how nonsensical and crazy it was.

I would say, that im out of delusions. But i still struggle with things like intrusive thoughts and overactive imaginative thoughts. Im also in constant fear that its going to get as bad as it did at that point again, because i was acting absolutely insane. Couldn't take care of myself due to mental reasons (I suppose that doesnt matter hugely now because its physical).

I guess thats to say, people do share their experiences with meds and mental health often.

Even though my experiences arent the same as everyone's (for instance: I love prozac. And prozac is conventionally hated). I still wanted to know what kind if anti psychotics people take for these kind of delusions. Cause it almost feels like theres imaginary characters in my head, that even though i dont believe in them anymore. It still bugs me and i feel gets in the way of self reflection very strongly. Which I need strongly at this time as I have to take care of myself through a scary health issue and need to have a head to navigate it

I also wanted to note that its very much voices in my head versus outside (like i can tell its not coming from the room or around me its just in my head like a thought from me but from a part of my brain that doesnt feel like the rest. If that makes sense.)

Like its like music being stuck in your head which goes on top of inner thought. Except its other thoughts.

Hey, so mental health meds are kinda a nightmare of side effects and this and that not working or stuff eventually not working.

I kinda have known people in many situations that were extremely distressing and they took meds and got illnesses while dealing with it. For many they just took so many meds that it kinda just boiled over into a breakdown and they stopped taking them and removed themselves from whatever situation it was cause they were medically (mental health) unable to continue it.

Now, im not in one of these positions. But I understand adult homes and shelters as being very traumatic. As it it, im dealing with a chronic illness thats already been causing me a lot of distress because of what i have to deal with in daily life and because of the future I worry I no longer have.

Its not something im likely to get a cure for immediately it will take time.

In that process, im not able to take care of myself. Likely have to go to an adult home. Im already in antidepressants but its way not enough to deal with a situation like this. And im not sure how im going to manage if being emotional gets in the way of survival. Or why I would even need emotions in the first place through it. I just need to get from a to b. Adult Home to disability benefits and medicine. And deal with a lot of stress and depression. And already lack closeness to folk and deal with the feelings of loneliness and purposelesness that comes with that

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Hey everyone,

So I have a question related to the scent of penises. Not like a smelly, bad scent but like the more pleasant one I vaguely remember in my experiences with it.

Its this sort of musky scent thats a bit hot and im asking this in relation to something person. Here it is:

Im a transman. I was planning to get bottom surgery, and tldr. Im not healthy enough for it. When youre on testosterone, it changes the scent of your hormones and body. I smell more masculine. And it creates a mass of erectile tissue in the hooha of afab people. Bottom surgery can take skin from another area of your body, as well as nerves, and elongate it. Hence it will create a new formation of the genital thats like a penis. Which would come with many things.

I was exploring options, and think I could try strap ons. Since i wont be able to get the surgery. There are many gaps i can fill. I can get a realistic one, it can become erect, and it can be heated. However, it will be missing some of the smells that would come from that area. And just smell like the material its made of. Any suggestions?

Hey, when ur family found out you has RA. How did they believe you about your issues?

I want to tell my dad. Bluntly. That at one point I couldnt even squeeze a tube of toothpaste. Wasnt able to put my pants on without a lot of pain. If I were to say it exactly like that. He wouldnt believe me.

What im going through is highly unlikely. Im experiencing my fingers going crooked, swelling that goes to my face, and debilitating pain at stage 1.

This is a pretty long post. So please read all before judging.

So when this started I was pretty healthy relatively (id be able to wear myself out at the gym or work and feel good. Even if i got normal muscle aches the next day). I was rather sedentary but id be able to go from being sedentary to active pretty quickly without much pain (ex: I had periods where I was unemployed and would start working laborious jobs and it didnt hurt). I was also able to push myself at the gym and it felt nice. Im 22 and for the first time had symptoms like this. I went my whole life without any autoimmune indications prior. It was abrupt from normal and healthy, able to go to the gym etc. To disabling. 

Progression of symptoms over a few months:

One day my joints started hurting more than usual despite being extremely sedentary those few weeks. I started getting worried when I noticed swelling and felt like I had fully worn my body out doing labor or something despite not doing anything. At first I thought maybe I just got a weird type of sick. I thought it could go away maybe. I set an appointment as soon as I could. My PCP was fast. She suggested a rheumatologist. That appointment was not for months. It got worse over a few months to the point that I couldn't squeeze toothpaste. 

I decided to go to the hospital cause it got very debilitating like. To the point it was disabling. 

They gave me steroids. My rhumeatologist did labs and it was pretty insane all around (like 10× the amount of rheumatoids I was supposed to have and a bunch of other things). The steroids made me feel healthy but the moment I was taken off. Its like my body speeded up that whole process where things became debilitating in the span of a few days. 

He put me on a new medicine. But I had to go to the hospital again. I told him about my issues. I was considering it might be fibromyalgia or something. He said to go back to the hospital, cause apparently he wasnt sure what was causing the pain anymore. 

Im still in a lot of pain with all of my joints and muscles. There is a bit of spasms/twitching. My hands are swelling again. I still am in pain from basic things like putting on clothes, brushing my teeth, cooking, and typing tbh (tho its not as bad as certain motions). 

What is going on? Where do I go from here? Im still in the process of getting opinions. Gonna ask my pcp over again. But im still stumped and feel like I might be missing something. Especially when my doctor said in response to my question about out of the blue symptoms essentially that: some people develop autoimmune later in life rather than being born with it. I dont know what to research. Ive never struggled with issues like this before. Its confusing