u/pamcamilled31

I’m 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and I honestly never imagined that one of the hardest parts of becoming a mum would be realising how little support I would have from my own parents.
My whole life, I have always been there for my family. We are a foreign family and English is our second language. I learned English very quickly as a child, and from such a young age I became the person my parents depended on. I helped them with everything — finding jobs, dealing with paperwork, understanding letters, helping them get a mortgage and so many other things in between.
I never really questioned it. I just did it because they were my parents and I loved them.
I also helped raise my younger siblings and looked after my cousins whenever my parents, aunties or uncles were working. I grew up being responsible, being needed and putting other people before myself.
And now, for the first time in my life, I am the one who needs someone.
I’m 29, settled, happy and pregnant with my first baby. I am so unbelievably excited to become a mum. This little boy is already my entire world, and I feel so incredibly blessed that I get to bring him into this world.
But since my mum found out I was pregnant, our relationship has completely changed. We don’t get along, and honestly, it breaks my heart more than I can explain.
I’m only around 10 weeks away from meeting my baby, and I have absolutely no support from my own parents. After spending my entire childhood and adult life being there for them, helping them and putting their needs before mine, I never thought I would reach the biggest and most emotional chapter of my life and feel so alone when it comes to my own family.
What hurts the most isn’t even the practical help. It’s the feeling that my mum doesn’t seem to care about me or her grandchild. I wish she was excited. I wish she asked how I was feeling. I wish she wanted to be involved. I wish I could call my mum when I’m overwhelmed and know that she would be there for me.
I think a part of me always believed that when I had my own baby, everything would change. That my mum would finally see me as her daughter who needed her too, rather than the person who was always strong enough to help everyone else.
And it hurts to realise that might never happen.
Thankfully, my partner’s parents have been incredible. They have supported us, helped us and made sure our baby has absolutely everything he needs. They have shown us so much love and kindness, and I genuinely feel so blessed to have them. I will never take that for granted.
But I would be lying if I said I don’t still feel heartbroken.
I’m trying to focus on my baby and the beautiful family we are creating. I want my son to grow up surrounded by love, security and people who genuinely want to be there for him.
Maybe becoming a mum is teaching me that family isn’t always about who you share blood with. Sometimes it’s about who shows up, who loves you, who supports you and who makes you feel like you matter.
I just never thought I would have to learn that lesson from my own mum.