u/paradise_dreamz24

I’m torn between the idea of sharing our culture vs preserving our culture. And I’m not talking about afakasi’s with Samoan in their blood.

I’ve seen an uptick of videos online of white women waiting until their wedding to put effort into learning our culture, specifically the taualuga. For the Samoan men who date white women specifically, do you set expectations of cultural responsibility? If not, does this question/idea come up?

I’m genuinely curious and I come in peace.

My first time flying out of Mexico City and my flight is at 7am. I’m not checking in a bag and from my hotel it says it’ll take ~15 minutes, approximately 4 miles: I was thinking of getting there at 5am since boarding is at 6:15am but my partner says I should leave earlier. Flying via Delta (AeroMexico)

What time should I leave? Help!

AITA My friend (31F) sent a link to her birthday dinner invite using a popular party invite apps. I (32F) have not seen this friend in person nor talk to in almost 3 years, yet we keep in contact via social media. You know the likes on your story, comment on posts, and the happy birthday shoutouts. The only time I know it’s their birthday is when I see on social media (and I’m pretty sure it’s the same from her end about me).

Randomly I get a text with the link to rsvp for her dinner party. When I clicked the link, there was no detail on it other than the date and the invitees. I’m looking through the list of invitees and I don’t recognize anyone on the list. In the detail space, it said, “restaurant tbd.” Now, a little context about me is, I personally do not do group dinner parties with a group of people I do not know, especially at fancy places. I’ve had my fair share of experiences that has deterred my future presence to not do that ever again. So that brings me to this story.

The invite was for a Thursday night dinner. I had no plans that day other than working and some errands, so I rsvp’d before she confirmed the restaurant (bad idea). Birthday girl sends a mass text via app to everyone 24 hrs before said birthday dinner confirming the restaurant. Of course it’s a fancy steakhouse. Mind you, I have not seen/talk to this friend in years and the first time we connect I’m expected to drop $150+ on dinner with a group of strangers.

Atp it was too late to retract my rsvp and now I’m contemplating still attending. On that Thursday, I had to stay late for work and couldn’t leave earlier than expected (started a new job training). The day got away from me and before I knew it, I was still at work when dinner was set to start. I did not make it.

Fast forward a few days and I get a text from birthday girl disappointed in my lack of presence and communication. The communication part, yes I could’ve done better to communicate my hesitancy upfront but part of me also feels like I’m guilting myself over a generic invite. Would you be comfortable spending that much $ on someone who you have a mediocre relationship with, whom you haven’t seen/talked to in years, and who invited you with a mass text?

AITA for not attending?