u/peachblossomtears

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i’m in my mind 20s. obviously, being called “auntie” doesn’t literally make me old. and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being an older woman

but when a guy my own age calls me “auntie”, it's to do it mockingly and that bothers me

because “auntie” in this context doesn’t just mean an older woman. it comes with all these associations of being old, unattractive, matronly, conservative, sexually irrelevant. basically, being outside the category of the “young, desirable woman"

and WHY is that supposed to be funny???

why is “you look old” one of the easiest ways to insult a woman???

because women are constantly taught that youth and attractiveness are forms of social value and that once you lose them, you lose something important

we’re told aging is natural, while simultaneously being taught to fucking dread it

so perhaps, i’m offended by the fact that “auntie” is being used as something a woman is supposed to be ashamed of becoming

inspired by this post

chinnappudu, maa amma naku barbies konaledu. cookingware tho aadukonivvaledu. emmana "girly" toys unte literally bayatapadesedi. evaraina ilanti bommalu gifts isthe aama cardboard boxes lo storage lo daachesindi. lekapothe showcase lo kunni pettedi. but I was not allowed to play

aa age lo ardhamkaledu Enduku ala chesindi, kunchum pedayyeka cheppindi(around 12-13 years age ki) that she didn't want me to get influenced by such toys. she was scared aa cooking set valla nenu pedayyaka kitchen ki ankitham aipothanu ani. she wanted me to be more daring and bold and thought that playing with cars and legos would make me more expressive and bold. she thought that I would be taken more seriously if I had less girly interests

aa time lo, she was trying to break gender stereotypes, but ippudu alochiste it was a very twisted way

why twisted? because problem dolls tho aadukodam kadu. the problem is the idea that these interests are inherently lesser, limiting or incompatible with ambition

and this is actually a larger problem, because we as a society have collectively decided that anything associated with women is somehow less valuable

it goes beyond toys

look at how we talk about romance novels, makeup, fashion, skincare, celebrity culture, pop music, weddings, domesticity, or even certain kinds of entertainment. things that are disproportionately enjoyed by women are often dismissed as frivolous, shallow, embarrassing or “less intellectual"

this is where we need to be careful with the language of “empowering women". we shouldn't have to prove that women are capable of enjoying serious things by distancing ourselves from everything associated with femininity.

aada pillalaki barbies and toys rendu nachachu, she can read romance books she can also read philosophy. she can enjoy cooking and also enjoy physics

my mother tried to break that hierarchy by pushing me away from traditionally feminine interests. but why did she have to believe those interests were lesser in the first place??

and I don't think the answer is to simply declare everything feminine “empowering". not every choice made by a woman is automatically feminist just because a woman made it. that can very easily become choice feminism

the more important work is to unlearn the hierarchy itself. and to teach the next generation to unlearn it too

girls shouldn't have to reject what is associated with them in order to earn respect, intelligence, ambition or a place at the table

because naku chiraku vestadi. okay yes there are bad apples in every profession. there are doctors who over investigate, overcharge, prescribe unnecessarily and put profit before patients. corporate healthcare deserves criticism for the ways in which profit can influence healthcare

ut then, corporate hospitals are milking money, healtcare is commercialised, ergo every doctor is a scammer, is literally every idiotic relative tells me, edo pedda gnan share chestunattu

but also naku anali anipistadi, who told you to go to a corporate hospital run by a slimy MBA and then blame doctors for it????

like you can go to a government hospital instead. but manam vellamu, because manaki 2 am ki specialist kavali, icu backup undali, ct/mri, ventilators robotic surgery, private rooms, infection control, rapid investigations, the list goes on anni kavali. and there is nothing wrong with wanting to prioritise healthcare and want the best. but then cue *shocked pikachu face* when they find out that maintaining all of that COSTS MONEY

2 lakhs bill avute, adi 2 lakhs doctor ki vellinattu kadu. infrastructure, nursing, diagnostics, pharmacy, ot, icu, equipment, administrative and staffing costs ki kuda pothadi. aithe aa corporate hospital ni thittuko. what gives you the right to make a blanket statement that "ALL DOCTORS LOOT PEOPLE"

medical expertise is not an infinitely cheap service!!!! idemanna amazon prime lantida?? and oka bad outcome vaste adi malpractice avvadu!!!! medicine has uncertainty. complications untay, treatment failure untadi, adverse outcomes undadhu even the appropriate care was given. kani one side effect and people are quick to label it as negligence and call the doctor a looter

im just so done

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hello guys! its been about 3 months since we started this sub and we’re really happy to see it being active and everyone contributing to the community❤️

we've had a few changes with the mod team along the way, but we’re trying our best to keep moderation consistent and make this a safe, welcoming and learning space for everyone(except misogynists and incels of course)

that being said, we’re always open to suggestions on how we can improve the sub. is there anything you’d like to see more of? any rules, flairs, events, discussion threads, AMAs, etc. that you think would make the sub better? drop your suggestions in the comments or send us a modmail!

also, if you ever face an issue on the sub, please send us a modmail instead of DMing individual moderators. it makes it much easier and faster for the mod team to keep track of and resolve issues

looking forward to hearing your suggestions ❤️

we need to talk about the weird attitude towards maternity leave

women are given maternity leave because pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum recovery are not optional little breaks from work. yet the moment a woman actually takes the leave she is entitled to, there is often resentment from employers, colleagues and sometimes society itself. shr is made to feel like she is inconveniencing the team, damaging her career or somehow taking advantage of the system

some people are crass enough to say she got pregnant so she could avail the leave

but nobody looks at the bigger problem. why is the workplace structured around the assumption that the ideal worker is someone who can work long, rigid hours continuously, without pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, childcare or other caregiving responsibilities ever disrupting their productivity??? oh because the systemwas designed for men!!!

maternity leave is absolutely necessary. but in some ways, it is also a bandaid. It compensates for a workplace structure that was never designed around the realities of women's lives

and the irony is that women are punished for both choices. If you take maternity leave, you're "less committed". If you don't, you're expected to somehow recover immediately and return to the same productivity as before

if the only way we've made workplaces compatible with motherhood is to temporarily remove mothers from them, then have we made the workplace inclusive?? we've simply created an exception for women who don't fit the default model of a worker

sons ni pedda koduku, chinna koduku, inti vaarusudu ani ilanti terms tho refer chesinappudu, daughters and sisters ni kuthuru anakunda inti aadapadachu ani Enduku antaru??

why is the male child identified straightforwardly by his relationship to the family (koduku) while the female child has this separate, gendered kinship category?

also idi oka patriarchal paradox, her family remains "her" family, her puttillu is "her" puttillu. but she herself is expected to leave it but within the traditional patriarchal/patrilocal structure, she is still the one expected to leave that household after marriage, while the son remains the one who carries forward the family, lineage and household

so why do we need this special category for the daughter?

and also aadapadachu is like benovelant sexism ani kuda anipistundi naku

calling someone inti aadapadachu can give her a lot of affection, respect and even a kind of special status, as a kuthuru or kodalu inta raadu. there is something reverential about the term. but isn't that precisely how benevolent sexism can work??

why did we develop this distinction between kuthuru and aadapadachu in the first place? was the terminology itself shaped by the traditional patrilocal family system??

guys please use the already pinned megapost to ask your queries for neet ug

https://www.reddit.com/r/telugumedschool/s/QxjbCUBvIb

we will be removing other posts. rather than cluttering the sub with 10-20 posts a day, it would be better to consolidate info into one megathread and easy to locate

seniors you can add your clg reviews in that SAME megathread

any other extra posts will be removed

no doubt in india, permanent contraception has historically fallen overwhelmingly on women.

and the numbers are honestly quite shocking

in 2014–15, there were approximately 39.5 lakh female sterilizations compared with only 78,362 male sterilizations across india hahahahaha

ante every one male ki 50 women got sterilised

so why???

let's first talk about the actual procedures.

tubectomy involves surgically blocking or removing portions of the fallopian tubes. depending on the technique, this involves abdominal/pelvic surgery. deeniki admit avvali, anaesthesia ivvali, surgery cheyyali. like it has the same risks as of any other abdomen surgery

vasectomy involves cutting or occluding the vas deferens so sperm cannot enter the ejaculate. idi actually chala easy procedure. just simple local anaesthesia icheyachu. same day admit ayyi discharge avvachu. just mild discomfort untadi. you dont even use a scalpel(surgical knife)! literally you poke a hole in the balls sack and cut parts of the vas deferes out and then tie the loose ends. fun fact naa internship in mbbs lo my HOD let me perform one. and he was telling me during that indira gandhi mass sterilisation era lo he used to do 50 a day and was so easy cause it hardly takes 15 -20 mins ( im not promoting these policies. bodily autonomy and informed consent are non negotiable. i'm just sharing the anecdote because it really drove home to me how technically straightforward a vasectomy can be.)

it is also highly effective compared to tubectomy

and yet, when a couple decides that their family is complete, it is very often the woman who undergoes the permanent procedure

there are plenty of reasons why men may avoid vasectomy, misconceptions about impotence and masculinity, fear of the procedure, lack of awareness, stigma, lack of access and cultural ideas about contraception being a woman's responsibility.

but that's exactly where the gender issue comes in.

women are already expected to deal with:

periods
pregnancy
childbirth
postpartum recovery
breastfeeding
contraceptive side effects
and often the majority of responsibility for preventing pregnancy.

and then, after having the number of children the family wants, the woman is often the one expected to undergo permanent sterilization. even in educated families

there is something deeply gendered about that

especially when the alternative procedure for the male partner is generally simpler and less invasive.

evari ishtam valadi kani why does **the default burden of permanent contraception falls so disproportionately on women in the first place??? why is this social expectation there in the first place??.**even though pregnancy is something that happens through two people's reproductive systems.

the government itself recognises male sterilization as a family planning option, including no-scalpel vasectomy. so why is this option so underused?????

okay, let's talk about weight and women's healthcare

first, let's talk about BMI because i think it's important to understand where this whole thing comes from

the formula behind bmi dates back to the 19th century, when a statistician(NOT EVEN A DOCTOR) wanted to find patterns in population in relation to height and weight. kani vadu sample size upper class white man nunchi teeskuni develop chesedu

then it just got popular because its simple easy to calculate and might give a rough idea of relative weight

but it is not neutral, universal or capable of telling us everything we need to know about a human body. but it has become a tool to classify people into obesity(tbh it has some historical significance with racism as well if you want to read up about it)

and this becomes particularly interesting when we talk about women and weight and obesity

a woman comes in with irregular periods:

“lose weight”

pcos:

“lose weight”

infertility:

“lose weight”

acne:

“lose weight”

joint pain:

“lose weight”

sometimes weight loss genuinely is an appropriate part of treatment but ala ani, "weight taggadam" is not the diagnosis kada. em avutundi elaga avutundi chudali

weight loss kuda is not a matter of "eat less move more" it doesn't work like that for women

women and men are physiologically different. on average, women have lower energy expenditure because women tend to have less lean mass and smaller body size. so an identical calorie deficit doesn't necessarily represent the same relative energy deficit for a man and a woman.

women also have hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy and postpartum period, menopause, and conditions such as pcos that can affect appetite, energy expenditure, body composition and weight regulation.

its not that women are biologically incapable of losing weight but its just more complicated then that, and its not recognised enough

and this is particularly relevant when we're talking about calorie deficits

a 500 kcal deficit isn't experienced in a vacuum

if one person has a maintenance requirement of 2500 kcal and another has a maintenance requirement of 1800 kcal, telling both people to “just cut 500 calories” is obviously not equivalent. and women have less calorie requirements(ide naku chiraku vachedi gym bros tho, they think calorie deficits solve everything)

and as body weight decreases, energy expenditure can decrease too. hunger can increase. the body adapts. adherence becomes harder

but there is another part of this conversation that i think is important

how weight is interpreted can also be gendered:

a woman presents with fatigue, joint pain, irregular periods or fertility problems and her weight can become the first thing discussed

a man with the same bmi may still have his symptoms investigated independently rather than having his weight become the explanation for them

obviously this isn't true in every case, and men can absolutely experience weight stigma too

but women have historically been much more heavily scrutinised for their bodies, appearance, fertility and reproductive health. so when weight becomes the default explanation for a woman's symptoms, it exists within a much larger social context

this is where weight becomes relevant to medical misogyny.

women are constantly told that their bodies need to be smaller, healthier, fitter, more fertile, more attractive, more controlled. when will we ever catch a break??

NOTE: WE WILL BE REMOVING INDIVIDUAL POSTS. ALL COUNSELING RELATED POSTS MUST BE REDIRECTED TO THIS THREAD

Seeing a lot of posts about NEET-UG ranks, counselling, college choices, state quota, category-wise cutoffs, etc., so we're consolidating them here.

If you're a NEET-UG aspirant, you can use this thread to ask about:

- What colleges you can expect with your rank

- Government vs private colleges

- Telangana/AP counselling

- College-wise cutoffs and previous-year trends

- Branch/college preferences

- State quota vs AIQ

- Counselling procedures and doubts

- “I have X rank/category, what should I choose?” type questions

- Experiences and reviews of Telugu medical colleges

When asking for college suggestions, please include:

Rank:

Category:

State:

Domicile:

Budget (if relevant):

Preferred state/college:

Any specific preferences:

This will make it much easier for people to give useful answers rather than asking for the same information repeatedly.

Please remember that cutoffs and counselling rules can change every year. Treat individual opinions and predictions accordingly and verify important counselling information with the official counselling authority.

Individual NEET-UG counselling/college-choice posts may be redirected to this megathread so that the main subreddit doesn't get flooded with repetitive questions.

if youve ever been to a gynaecologist in India, you have been probably asked this

sometimes this is a completely reasonable clinical question because a doctor may need to know whether a patient is sexually active because it can affect the differential diagnosis, pregnancy testing, contraception, std risk or the type of examination that is important

the problem begins when "are you married" becomes a proxy question for "are you sexually active?"

we all know, India is a conservative country. we live in a culturally conservative society. so asking marital status is a soft way of asking are you sexually active. even among urban, educated populations conversations about sexual activity can be deeply uncomfortable

so asking about marital status can feel like the easier, less confrontational question as a healthcare provider

but, an unmarried woman may be sexually active. an unmarried woman may be a virgin. a married woman may be sexually active or not. none of these statuses determine whether she can have a gynaecological disease

yet there is another layer to this in India.

once a woman is married, sex is no longer socially taboo. it is expected. and pregnancy and motherhood are often treated as the natural next step

suddenly, concerns about menstruation, fertility, pregnancy, pelvic pain and reproductive health can receive considerably more attention. not necessarily because the woman's symptoms have changed, but because her reproductive role has changed in the eyes of society

in a patriarchal society, a woman's sexuality is often understood through her relationship to men and marriage. premarital sex is taboo, while sex within marriage is socially legitimate and motherhood is heavily valued

as a result, an unmarried woman's reproductive concerns can be viewed differently from those of a married woman

for eg, regarding contraception, the unmarried woman is often asked, implicitly or explicitly:

“why do you need this?”

while the married woman may be asked:

“when are you having children?”

the underlying assumption is that a woman's reproductive system becomes medically important when it becomes relevant to marriage, pregnancy and motherhood

and this is where i think we need to distinguish between culturally sensitive healthcare and healthcare shaped by cultural judgement

there's another aspect to this: per vaginal examinations. in India, there is often an assumption that an internal pelvic examination is something that should only be performed in married or sexually active women, largely because of cultural beliefs surrounding premarital sex, virginity and the hymen. but medically, whether a pelvic examination is appropriate should depend on the clinical indication, the patient’s circumstances and informed consent, not her marital status. an unmarried woman can have a genuine indication for an examination, just as a married woman may not. and importantly, there is no scientifically valid examination that can determine whether someone has had sex. its not even practicing medicine atp, its enforcing patriarchal norms

there is nothing wrong with a clinician needing to know about sexual activity when it is medically relevant. but ideally, the patient's care should be based on relevant history, symptoms and clinical findings. not assumptions about what her marital status implies

the irony is that a women's uterus does not know if she has a husband, so why should medicine??

okay. first lets go over some medical terms we should all know

dysmenorrhea: painful menstruation

primary dyssmenorrhea: painful menstruation without any underlying pelvic pathology(cause)

secondary dysmenorrhea: menstrual pain caused by an underlying condition, such as endometriosis or adenomyosis

one of the most common things young girls are told when they complain about painful periods is:

"its normal"

"all women go through it"

"it will get better after marriage"

the last one especially is particularly disturbing. how can a medical complain turn into a something a young girl is simply expected to tolerate??

there is a kernel of medical truth behind this statement. primary dysmenorrhea can improve with age and some women experience improvement after pregnancy

but, somewhere along the way a physiological observation has turned into gold standard medical advice

lets look at the data,

a study of 183 adolescent girls aged 14-19 years in Kadapa, Andhra Pradesh found that 65% had dysmenorrhea reported sickness absenteeism and the researchers found a significant reduction in quality of life

a study involving 1100 adolescent girls from government schools in and around Sangareddy, Telangana found menstrual disorders to be common, with dysmenorrhea among the frequently reported problems. the authors also found that 65.6% of the girls had not known about menstruation before their first period and concluded that many menstrual problems go unreported because of inadequate reproductive health knowledge

a 2026 school based study of 5000 adolescent girls across 55 schools in India found primary dysmenorrhea in 68.82% of participants

in another Indian study of adolescent schoolgirls, 29.2% reported mussing school during menstruation, with dysmenorrhea being the most commonly reported reason for absence

so yes. period pain is extremely common

but common does not mean that every degree of pain should be accepted without evaluation

there is important distinction between having some menstrual discomfort and having pain that repeatedly interferes with your life

if a teenager is:

• missing school because of her periods

• unable to participate in normal activities

• vomiting or becoming incapacitated from pain

• requiring frequent analgesics just to function

• progressively worsening pain

• experiencing pain that doesn't respond adequately to treatment

that should be taken seriously and evaluated

severe or worsening dysmenorrhea can also be associated with conditions such as endometriosis and adenomyosis, and delayed recognition can have serious consequences

period pain is common. that doesn't mean we have to normalise suffering simply because it is associated with menstruation

in fact because its so common you would think it must be taken seriously, instead its very prevalence became the reason its dismissed

when you repeatedly tell a young, impressionable girl:

> "period pain is normal, all women suffer"

she learns that pain associated with being female is something she is expected to endure.

and when the alternative explanation is:

> "it'll get better after marriage"

her reproductive health is being framed through her future marital and reproductive role rather than through her health as an individual and that is extremely dehumanising

ill leave the post open for discussion, I wanted to include more stuff but I will be making more posts related to menstruation

sources:

-Rajipet, P., Vemula, A. K., Rathod, P., Valmeekam, K., & Rakuditti, S. R. (2021). The prospective study on prevalence of menstrual disorders in school going adolescents at Sangareddy district, Telangana. International Journal of Reproduction, Contraception, Obstetrics and Gynecology, 10(6), 2443–2447. https://doi.org/10.18203/2320-1770.ijrcog20212190

-Kumbhar SK, Reddy M, Sujana B, Reddy K R, Bhargavi K D, Balkrishna C. Prevalence Of Dysmenorrhea Among Adolescent Girls (14-19 Yrs) Of Kadapa District and Its Impact on Quality of Life: A Cross Sectional Study. Natl J Community Med [Internet]. 2011 Sep. 30 [cited 2026 Aug. 9];2(02):265-8. Available from: https://www.njcmindia.com/index.php/file/article/view/1895

-George A, George LS, Assariparambil AR, Annapoorna K, Bhat VR, Ravishankar N, Nayak SG. Prevalence and symptoms of primary dysmenorrhea among adolescent girls in India: a school-based cross-sectional study. Sci Rep. 2026 Jun 24. doi: 10.1038/s41598-026-59005-9. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 42337292.

-ACOG 2026 Clinical Practice Guideline on diagnosis of endometriosis, including adolescents.

ill be starting a series of posts exploring different aspects of medical misogyny and gender bias in healthcare

we will be covering a wide range of topics, from women’s pain being dismissed or undertreated, to gender bias in clinical research, differences in diagnosis and treatment, reproductive healthcare and the consequences these biases can have on women’s health

as a medical professional and as a woman, ill be approaching these discussions from both sides: the provider’s perspective and the patient’s perspective. ill discuss things ibe observed directly or indirectly, alongside available research and evidence

these posts are intended to be discussion based rather than one sided lectures. feel free to contribute your own thoughts, experiences, counterpoints or relevant research in the comments!

if you'd like any topic to be discussed, please let me know in the comments!

because patriarchy doesn't just decide who does the work

it decides whose work is considered valuable

women have always cooked. but cooking inside the home isdismissed as a duty, an expectation, a responsibility. the moment cooking becomes a profession with prestige, power and money, men disproportionately occupy the highest positions and are celebrated as culinary geniuses

the pattern repeats itself everywhere

women sewed for centuries. men built luxury fashion empires

women raised children. yet "guru" always refers to a male

women were excluded from art academies, denied patrons and prevented from exhibiting their work on equal terms. then history declared that the "great masters" were almost exclusively men

this is how patriarchy works

it feminizes labour while masculinising prestige

so perhaps the better question isn't

"why are the greatest chefs or painters men?"

its

"who was allowed to train? who owned the kitchens, studios, restaurants, galleries and schools? who's work was preserved? whose names were written into history??"

im curious how everyone manages tourniquet pain in cases performed under regional blocks for upper limb and lower limb

in our practice, we routinely give IV paracetamol and tramadol, but I don't feel they're always sufficient once tourniquet pain develops, especially during prolonged procedures

what's your approach??

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a recent post was made by a former moderator. we'd like to clarify that the views expressed in that post do not reflect the values or direction of this subreddit or the rest of the moderation team

this community is open to everyone but it will always be first and foremost a safe space for women and marginalized genders. discussions about how patriarchy harms men are absolutely welcome. however, we will not support narratives that shift responsibility onto women for those harms or reinforce the very gender roles that feminism seeks to dismantle

if the recent discussion made anyone feel unheard or unsafe we sincerely apologize🙏🏻

we'd also like to address one recurring point. when women speak about their experiences with gendered violence or discrimination or say things like "it's always a man" please avoid responding with "not all men". we know not every man is responsible, we have seen good men too, but these statements are usually expressions of frustration at a long standing pattern of systemic violence and discrimination. not literal accusations against every individual man🤦🏻‍♀️ derailing those conversations to seek reassurance often shifts the focus away from the issue being discussed and diminishing what they have experienced

at the same time, discussions mental health and su!cide are important and deserve empathy. we ask everyone to approach these conversations with compassion. blaming or mocking people for struggling with their mental health has no place here, all genders

feminism contains disagreements. topics such as choice feminism, liberal feminism, radical feminism and others are often debated and that's okay. this subreddit exists to encourage learning, unlearning and good faith discussion. not ideological purity or personal attacks

if you disagree with someone's argument, challenge the argument itself. don't resort to name calling, assumptions about character or insults. we're here to discuss ideas, learn from one another and have difficult conversations in good faith. not to tear each other down

we believe nuance is important. but nuance also means recognizing that we do not all begin from the same social position or experience the same realities. conversations here should be grounded in that context

this community is still growing and we're all learning as we go. you don't have to agree with every perspective shared here, but if you choose to participate, we ask that you engage respectfully and in good faith while keeping the purpose of this space in mind🙏🏻🌸

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a name is such a basic part of your identity. traditionally, changing your surname after marriage is rooted in patriarchal norms, so keeping your birth surname seems like the obvious "feminist" choice

but then... your birth surname is usually your father's surname. that's also a product of patriarchy haha

so then what if you take your mother's maiden surname instead? that surname usually came from your maternal grandfather. again a product of patriarchy

its interesting how something as fundamental as our names is so deeply tied to patriarchal family structures. there isn't really a perfect or "pure" answer here

some might argue there are much bigger issues feminism should be fighting for than surname. and I understand that perspective. a surname alone doesn't determine whether someone is oppressed or empowered. but I also think it's worth discussing because it reflects how deeply patriarchal systems are woven into everyday life, even in things we rarely question

personally, i don't think there's one correct choice. whether you keep your surname, change it, hyphenate it, create a new family name or do something else entirely depends on your own values and circumstances

my mom never legally changed her surname after marriage because my parents were too lazy to deal with all the paperwork lol

ill probably keep mine too. partly because I don't see the need, partly for aesthetic reasons(i like how my name sounds and like I said it's been my identity for all these years) and partly because updating every single document sounds like an administrative nightmare

curious to hear everyone's thoughts. what would you do and why??