Does anyone else deal with this in a regular basis here? Most people are cool. I wanted to pepper spray this guy but didn’t want to spray his dog as well. He is starting to scare me. I am planning to ask his friends to speak with him and report him regardless.
What has worked for you?
I looked up workplace accommodations since my diagnosis. On asking around the community, I decided to not come out at work. And I thought, there are plenty of empty offices, I could camp in one, and not dial up the volume on headphones anymore. The bigger team in office is LOUD, and some are just obnoxious as well. They are good people and mean well and are nice to me. I would just rather have them be cordial while I am working. I am happy to mingle at parties.
I found an abandoned conference room away from the bustle and made it my own. I put a projector light, some air freshener, and charging cables. I still needed to inform my team, and admin where I was working out of and if I could just take it. Now, they use it too to hide away. They are NT. Our CEO mentioned that it is important that we are presentable and everyone should want to be around us, and that is our culture. I do not want to overfunction. I have my good days. But I like to hyper focus and not want people around me anyways. I still don’t want to come out at work. How do I avoid that?
Let’s meet! I’ll be there if there is interest from at least 2 people and give an hour’s notice if I cancel.
No need to DM. And no qualifications needed. I’ll be upstairs :)
I want a small quiet group to walk through Central Park or another right after sunset to watch fireflies with. I prefer to meet at a coffee shop in midtown first.
Edit:
Let’s meet at A-Frame SOHO at 5:00 pm first. We can view today or another evening as well. I’ll be there around 2. DM me to co-ordinate, please.
I am not a favorite amongst family, friends or co-workers. And it does not matter to me. My parents have been ghosting me for 2 weeks now. A lot of friends have rotated. I have good relations with some colleagues. But I haven’t been recognized as an asset, or celebrated for years of service.
Since my diagnosis a few months ago, I realized why so many people didn’t take an attachment to me, but still called me to get something out of me. I realized how I misunderstood my equations with people my whole life. I defined myself as ‘little crazy’ for a bit. I now realize how regardless of autism multiple people can share the same event in place and time and have completely different experiences. My reality is as valid. My perception, the way I read it, is absolutely valid, and real, and reasonable.
I love my hobbies and pursuits. Successful relationships are not necessary for me to be happy. A creative and thoughtful mind is my luxury. I am good. I am healthy. I don’t look great on paper compared to my classmates or family. But unlike a lot of them, I am fitter physically and mentally. I have a good time. I stay on top of things. I have fun. I feel happy and peaceful sometimes. It’s rough, but I am staying above the water.
I have an uncanny trait to spot a cat hiding anywhere in my proximity. I can spot them in homes I am walking by through tinted windows, in hipster carriers, running across when more important things are going on, just wherever they are hiding in the background. Does anyone else feel the same?
I am acknowledging my burnout after my recent, late diagnosis of ASD I at the age of 41, and rethinking my morality.
The accommodations that we get, are, in fact, isolations. When, in fact, if folks followed good etiquette and kept their outdoor voices outdoors, we wouldn’t even need, and come out. I don’t want to come out.
Some NT women, not all, are terribly inconsistent, passive aggressive, and stir up drama for no reason. I have observed this behavior mostly from ladies not popular or successful as I am. Add, me having little energy for small talk. I am inclined to not engage with them at all unless necessary. I am in a male dominated field. I don’t see the point being othered by the underdogs at the expense of my mental health. Why? If we mask, it causes depression and anxiety. If we don’t, being picked on, taunted, excluded and othered does. Why bother?
Then, the men. At least, I get them. But, with caveats. Before my diagnosis I ended up mistaking their sexual interest for friendship, interest in my side hustle, or alignment with common interests. They are simpler creatures. But navigating them is effort I don’t want to put, at all. I am honestly flabbergasted with the sexual interest I get at this age. I want a family, and peace. I hung out by myself Sunday. I got hit on by staff at all 3 venues I visited.
One of my colleagues of a couple, has messaged me 14 times on my personal number without receiving a response. Lays the told me when he’ll be back from paternity leave. He is a married father of 2. I am planning to take the day off that day. I need vacay anyway. One, put his hands on me at a talk we went to, together. One startles me while I am working. And, a bunch of them greet me in infantilizing ways.
I am also wondering, if I am gong to be perceived at aloof, uncaring, snotty, and selfish, why don’t I be just that? Being good, the high road, is work. And in my case, with little to no return. I am treated like a bad woman, an outcast. It doesn’t really come around. I barely have friends, and not a lot of family around. I am struggling emotionally under the hood.
How do I reconcile this? I have been in a mood for a bit now. I am resentful and disgruntled. This is one ‘disability’ that we don’t get grace for like being blind or missing a limb. But, we have to navigate. It’s not fair.