u/penguins-are-me

So… I was on the Starship Voyager for seven long freaking years. I think I’m suffering psychosis from it? I mean there are literally Borg everywhere and don’t get me started on the Kazon. I’ve been seeing the EPH (Emergency Psychology Hologram) for a while now about it but he tends to go all ECH on me from time to time and doesn’t finish our sessions. What a jerk.

I’ve been late to my duty shift since I’ve been working on a classic car from the 1960s on the Holodeck. Been late, didn’t change into my uniform. I’m a grease monkey, what can I say?

So I engineered the transporter to transport him in his sleep and wipe his memory of the incident. Is that wrong? This way he doesn’t remember wanting to talk to me and I’m off Scott free. He’ll be a vegetable in like six months tho. Soooo should I keep doing it?

In this special training video we will be moving to level three. It is titled who ate my gagh and stole my par’Mach. The last video regarding your spine was good but it didn’t get you ready for what is to come from your true Klingon heritage.

In this video series we will focus on how gagh is more than serpent worms. It truly is a delicacy. Next we will focus on ritual blood fights when choosing a mate.

Now don’t be a pe’tavh and let us choose honor!

Dear crew of the U.S.S. lollipop. This is your captain speaking. Be sure to have your escape pod buddy in sight when you are expected to leave the ship via escape pod.

If you don’t have an escape pod buddy. Get one asap. If we have to evacuate the ship and you don’t have an escape pod buddy you will be left behind. This is your only warning.

Captain out.

Now where the hell are my slippers. Shit is this thing still on?