u/perth_aussie_battler

AITA for asking my ex’s partner not to bring her puppy to my daughter’s hockey games?

My ex and I separated a year ago and we now co-parent our 5-yo daughter. He has been in a new relationship for most of that time. I’ve always been polite and welcoming towards his partner because I want things to feel comfortable and stable for my daughter. For context, there was no love lost between us, and I’m genuinely glad he found someone my daughter likes.

Recently my daughter started hockey through a school program. The games are pretty casual and mainly attended by parents. At the first game, my ex’s partner came along with her puppy. I thought it was really lovely for her to come along and support my daughter at her first game, and I can see that bringing the puppy was done with good intentions.

The issue is that the puppy now comes to every single game, and my daughter is completely (and understandably) fixated on it. I’ve even noticed the partner getting a little frustrated at times because my daughter yanks the lead, picks up the puppy, sits on him, etc. On top of that, my daughter keeps running off the field during games to play with the dog instead of participating. The partner does continue encouraging her to go back onto the field, but in my head I’m thinking, “You can’t bring a cute puppy for a 5-year-old to play with and then expect her to focus on hockey.”

At the most recent game, my ex actually told our daughter to just sit off-field with his partner and the puppy for part of the match because she was so distracted by the puppy(he js one of the coaches). I could see the partner start to check out a bit and chat with one of the other mums while my daughter ran havoc with the poor puppy. I also didn’t want to look like I was stepping on anyone’s toes by telling my daughter to stop playing with the puppy.

At that point I started feeling like the whole purpose of enrolling her in hockey - learning teamwork, listening, participating, and building confidence - was getting lost.

I also feel seriously awkward because I’m constantly trying to navigate the social side of it all so my daughter doesn’t pick up on tension. Don’t get me wrong, although I think highly of the partner, I don’t really want to spend an hour making small talk during a kids’ hockey game every week. I find myself trying to keep things friendly while also redirecting a distracted 5yo back onto the field. It feels a bit like a minefield, and I’m very new to this dynamic. My daughter constantly calls me over from where I’m standing to come and play with the puppy too.

After the game one of the mum’s mentioned it might be worth mentioning to the dad and partner to leave the puppy at home or come at the very end of the game. I thought that was a good idea and when I mentioned it to the ex, he looked at me like I had two heads and told me to get over it.

AITA?

**EDIT** the partner usually arrives a bit after the start. So my daughter gets into the game, but once the puppy arrives, it’s game over for her.

I married a mauritian man some years ago. He proposed to me within months of being together. I was swept off my feet at the time. The marriage disintegrated within 12 months of the marriage.

I later found out (through my sister who chats to him from time to time and follows him on fb) he had a child with someone within months of knowing that woman. He got married and again it was a failed marriage.

Within months of that marriage falling apart, he had re-partnered and is now getting married to someone else (within a year of knowing her).

I know other members of his family were the same. Some even had children outside of their marriages and kept affair relationships going for years and years.