Hi! Right now our living room feels like it has no theme or aesthetic, and rather just a cluster of things we have collected. Thinking I could use a better rug? Or update the wall? Any advice appreciated. Thank you!
Hi all! I wrote up some takeaways earlier this week and then my sneak peeks came in, so thought I’d share! My photographer sent over more portraits for sneak peeks then detail shots, but here are some little things that our guests really loved:
- typewriter poet! I mentioned this on my last post but we hired a poet to write little poems, sonnets, and haikus for our guests. so whimsical and made for great favors.
- our theme! it was A Midsummer Night’s Disco and dress code was funky formal. People told me they had soooo much fun dressing up and it was so cool to see our guests dress to the nines.
- backdrop! We welcomed guests with champagne and a 2-3 minute walk through the redwoods to our ceremony location. Everyone was gasping and taking pictures
- the FOOD! we splurged here :) lots of canapés during cocktail hour and a four course meal with the last course (dessert) on a grazing table. Late night bites were served around 10:30.
- our flower arch! Our planner focuses on sustainability so we sourced our flowers locally and kept them to a minimum, but we splurged on the arch.
- “find the guest bingo” at our welcome party! Made everyone start taking. There were hardly any cliques at our wedding, so much intermingling.
- tarot inspired seating chart and table numbers!
I’m on the lower end of a BBB, as our guest count was 92 and we spent about 110k, but I wanted to share as this group was a major inspo to me for styling and vibe recommendations. Most of our budget went to the venue, food, guest transportation, planner, and photographer. Happy to share anything if folks have questions! We were really intimidated by a Big Sur wedding at first but in the end, our guests loved the location and I’m so glad we created an event that felt authentically us.
-
Just had my dream wedding in Big Sur, California! It was truly the best day of my life. About 110k for 92 guests. Between us and some help from our parents, we covered a welcome dinner with an open bar and obviously everything on the wedding day, including brunch for those we got ready with. Here are some takeaways, in case it’s helpful!
Best things:
We prioritized guest experience and I am soooo glad. So many of our guests told us it was the best wedding they’d ever been to / most beautiful. I think this was because of the location (it was gorgeous and Big Sur is a bucket list item for everyone) and the fact that we kept everyone cool, comfortable, and entertained. Upon arrival, guests were greeted with a glass of champagne and a three minute walk through the redwoods. We hired a typewriter poet who used guest prompts to write personalized poems as wedding favors. There were plenty of cocktail hour snacks, dinner with options for all dietary restrictions, a big dessert table, and late night snacks. We had pashminas for the evening when the temperature dropped and a smores fire pit. (Plus a giant barn we DIY’d with lots of decor the days before the wedding)
Photo guest book. We had a Polaroid camera near our guest book and encouraged guests to take two pictures 1 one for the book, one to keep. So many people did this and it was so fun to look back at the photos and our guest notes! It’s such a great keepsake. I was tempted by the phone guest book thing but I know I will look back on a physical book far more often than I’d listen to something.
Created space in the timeline for breaks. Our timeline included 30 minutes after photos and before the ceremony and this was my fiance and I’s time to chill before the ceremony. I touched up my makeup and watched arrivals from my room (looked out onto the ceremony space) this time was EVERYTHING and allowed me to touch up my makeup, drink water, triple check my purse was packed, and most importantly — absorb the moment. We also had breaks right after the ceremony where we ate our appetizers and drank our custom cocktails, and right after dinner for me to get into my second look.
I loved my planner. Seriously, loved. She has worked with our venue before and that definitely helped.
We did a mini moon nearby and have a bigger international honeymoon in November. I’m so glad we did this. I still have something look forward to and plan, and our mini moon was perfect for resting, eating, and basking in the joy of the everything post wedding!
Lessons:
I should not have been in charge of anything my wedding day, but I did agree to put out the fans and had all the materials for our details shots. I wish I had given the fans to someone else and prepped all my detail shot materials beforehand because the morning of was pretty chaotic and I forgot the fans and left my perfume out of the detail shots. It wasn’t super hot so no one missed the fans but I was kicking myself because I had a Byredo perfume picked out for months and just totally spaced.
Things will go wrong! Our DJ accidentally messed up our entrance song and put the mic in a weird place for speeches. Neither of these things ruined the wedding by any means, but it did make me really anxious for a few minutes. Luckily I got over it quickly because everything else was so perfect that it was easy to distract myself.
I feel like I could have done a better job with design but everyone said they loved the way it looked so I may just be being hard on myself :). But like… I didn’t even have official wedding colors. I gave our florist a wildflower color palette but my wedding had more of a theme than a set of colors. (Theme was midsummer night’s disco, like if a bunch of fairies threw a disco party.) honestly it kinda worked but maybe I’d have been a little more cohesion? I’m being nitpicky though.
I would have done sooo many things sooo much sooner in advance. I had decision fatigue which turned into procrastination, so we sent out invites late which meant I got lots of other things thing. It didn’t end up mattering that much but I was really stressed the month leading up to the wedding because I had so much to do.
Wedding comedown is real! I am giddy to be married but am sad to say goodbye to the one day all our family and friends are in the same room. Also I have to focus on real life and I was definitely using the wedding to distract from some work anxiety, so now I need to take a look in the mirror and figure my shit out :)
But overall, everything was perfect in my eyes :) 100k was already at the top of my budget so maybe if I had had more, I’d have splurged on content creation or videography, but my planner/guests got a lot of cute stuff on their iPhones, and one of my best friends filmed special moments with a super8 camera, and I’ll edit that myself.
Happy to answer any questions! Wedding planning and the wedding itself are so intense but also soooooo special and I’m so happy we threw such a memorable celebration.
Hi all, I accidentally missed a friend’s bridal shower today as I put the wrong time in my calendar about three months ago. I was on east coast time and got the time difference messed up and just kept moving as though the event was three hours later than it actually was. I feel TERRIBLE and texted her effusively apologizing (she texted me an hour into the party asking I was coming, I was walking my didn’t get text text until 30 minutes later), but haven’t heard back, though i’m not expecting her to as she is with family.
Also, I should note my own wedding is Saturday and I’m so stressed and that played into my carelessness. But this also makes it even worse because she came to my bachelorette and is coming to my wedding. I didn’t have a bridal shower, if that makes any difference at all, and I am attending her bachelorette party and wedding.
I really can’t believe my stupidity. My plan is to swing by her apartment with the gift and flowers sometime this week. Or send her flowers today. Is there anything else I can do?
This is amazing news! I am so happy for her! It was a surprise baby and a long time coming for her. I am also spiraling. I am getting married in a remote location and my florist and venue host have not gotten back to me. There is so much left to do. I’m trying to respect my planner’s maternity leave but also there is so much to do still and the person filling in for her is her business partner and very busy / slow to respond. I can tackle some of it myself but I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. All the big stuff is handled, but it’s logistics like timeline and the shuttle schedule and final menu and flower design that aren’t yet confirmed. I also am doing some DIY projects that I am behind on. I feel like a month out everyone else is so much more prepared me!
Basically, I’m overwhelmed. My fiance is emotionally so supportive and trying to help but he doesn’t know the logistics our wedding like I do as I’ve taken on the brunt of the planning.
Can someone help me figure out what I should be doing right and for the rest of the month? I feel such pressure to do a good job but like I’m going to fuck something up.
Want to cut out my best friend in the image behind me (love her, she’s just on her phone and I want a solo pic) thank you! Will pay :)