u/pickle_p_fiddlestick

I'm in my 30s with every bit of evidence pointing to likelihood of children very low. It was unplanned but I'm excited about it. I'm ok with the judgment of having a kid with a decent guy even though it is out of wedlock and definitely no Catholic wedding on the horizon (the only real type of marriage /s).

My mother is in another state, and if I could guarantee that there is no way she would ever find out, I literally would never want to tell her. The boundary-setting is going to be brutal. There is such a negative energy around her. And maybe an infant would bring out the best in her and even help heal the mother-daughter relationship. I really don't want to deprive her of what will be her first grandchild. I don't hate her -- just think she is very emotionally immature and caught up the in cultier side of Catholicism. But the second that kid starts learning English... I don't want her to Catholic up my kid and don't look forward to those conversations. I literally would not even want her to spend one second unsupervised.

Has anyone been through similar?

TL;DR: I am so tired of the entire concept of discernment and want to vent about it below to you folks who, unlike the still evangelicals, are not currently having your brains turned to mush through thought-terminating clichés.

So anytime a conversation turns religious or political, I know it will end this way, that I just need to read the Bible, gain wisdom and discernment. They do not care or don't believe when I say I have read the Bible at length, commentary revealing original context, tons of sermons, and most importantly, inviting the Spirit in with every ounce of humility I am/was capable of -- all the things you're supposed to do.

I know disengaging more often would be better for my mental health, but if ex-vangelicals had never asked me some hard-hitting questions, I'd still be stuck.

Why do they do this? Do they just feel trapped? I guess I never personally pulled the "discernment" card as far as I can remember.

It's like there is one type of evangelical with some internal logic just wrong premises, and I can get along ok with those. But others that are a mash-up of thought-terminating clichés. The last type feels like trying to discuss Algrebra with a 3rd grader (what do you mean there are letters in Math? Stop with the woke nonsense and read your Bible. It says nothing about that.)

And it's the cliché-mashers who talk about discernment. As if they make sense of things based on reactions and emotions, and it feels Godly and rational because the programming is kicking in comfortably and predictably.

Ask... how do you square this with Muslims also feeling they have discerning spiritual experiences?

Or... I'm literally a classic/ancient literature teacher. I see how the flow of oral tradition, the structure of myths, and other ancient cultural influences affect belief to the modern day. If it's actually about faith, how about I have mine and you can have yours. But if it's about unpacking the words in a book -- The Book -- isn't there I chance I see something you don't?

They get big mad, no matter how polite I am or how many opportunities I give them to save face.

Soooo frustrating.

I'm looking for the Abeka Curriculums, ACE, etc. The more harmful, wacky, and non-academic the better. I've got a culty non-mainstream Catholic one myself from my own homeschool days (year two/gray book of Baltimore Catechism).

Or what about no curriculum and unreported abuse? How do we prove I'm not exaggerating, that since much homeschooling success is self-reported there is a darker side folks are not seeing? Got any photos, therapy notes -- anything at all you want to blur faces and personal details on? Honestly, your evidence may be most effective if you were of the stereotypically hippie variety (Iowa, very red area where folks are more reactive to that than stuff than the other side of awful that flies under the "Christian" label with less scrutiny. It will be easier for them to see bad patterns that don't seem attached to heritage or culture they value).

Please feel free to DM me screenshots, etc. to support the same proposals in the State of Iowa as CRHE (Center for Responsible Home Education) has supported in other states.