u/piggyhero

Blurb here:

Cassian Holt was an astronaut, but when his space station was annihilated, everything was taken from him. Now, he is given a chance at redemption.

The Kessler Cascade—a catastrophic chain reaction of satellite collisions—has transformed low Earth orbit into a vast debris field. A booming space industry collapses overnight, and Earth turns to its best and brightest for a solution.

Cassian, racked by survivor’s guilt after the destruction of his station, is contacted. Earth’s leaders want him to work on the most ambitious project in human history: Project Gossamer, their only chance to clear the debris and return to the stars.

But while Earth's focus is on the debris, a greater threat looms beyond. Can Cassian hold his team together, conquer his self-doubt, and reclaim the stars for mankind?

Excerpt (First 2 chapters) here: Excerpt

Not looking for critique swap.

Hi

I recently rewrote my blurb with feedback from another sub and wanted to see if I had made it any better. Could you let me know what you like and what you don't:

Cassian Holt was an astronaut, but when his space station was annihilated, everything was taken from him. Now, he is given a chance at redemption.

The Kessler Cascade—a catastrophic chain reaction of satellite collisions—has transformed low Earth orbit into a vast debris field. A booming space industry collapses overnight, and Earth turns to its best and brightest for a solution.

Earth's leaders contact Cassian. Still racked by survivor’s guilt after the destruction of his station, he agrees to help. They want him to spearhead the most ambitious project in human history: Project Gossamer, perhaps their only chance to clear the debris and return to the stars.

But while Earth is distracted, a greater threat looms beyond the debris. Can Cassian hold his team together, conquer his self-doubt, and reclaim the stars for mankind?

Let me know what you think. Most importantly let me know if you want to read it and if not why not. Thanks in advance!

Chapter 1

I hang weightless above the viewport. Below me, the Earth is a pale blue marble set against the inky void. I will forever cherish this view, the beauty and fragility of our home laid bare for all to see.

From here I see the grand summation of humanity. Every human who has ever lived started on this rock and I am part of the lucky few who, for now, don't call it home. 

Our influence can now be felt almost 400 million kilometers away on the barren red rock of Mars. Close to forty souls have nestled themselves into the martian surface for the past four years and more join them all the time.

Reaching up with my right hand, I grab the rail and pull backwards to send myself further down the corridor; Microgravity will never get old. The white walls that surround me are nested with wires and tubes, each equally important and innocuous. My target, the next viewing window, approaches to my right and I reach out a hand to grab the guard rail just before it. 

Bringing myself to a stop I stare out at the inky black of space looking to spot a new star. Well, not a star, but it sure does look like one. The light originates from the engine of the NASA Athena upper stage, currently burning hard on a Hohmann transfer to Mars. “One day…” I whisper under my breath as I watch the ship on its way to the red planet. 

“But not today.” Comes an unexpected reply from just over my shoulder. 

“Christ Danny, you need to stop doing that. How are you so silent? You're like a god damned cat.”

“Well, maybe Cassian, if you weren't daydreaming through the viewport, I wouldn't have been able to surprise you so easily.”

Danny Rodriguez was the most senior astronaut on the station. He spent over 900 days in space in various stints. He was nearing retirement which you could tell from the handful of grey hairs sneaking into the nest of messy hair on his olive-skinned head. He was a hard-ass but always fair, and someone I had always looked up to. I’d be lucky to have half the career he’s had when time catches up with me.

“I’m sorry, I’ll get back to it now. It's just that… well, it never gets old, does it?” 

“No,” he replied wistfully “It really doesn't." His eyes were fixated on the view of the departing craft from the window. 

“Who’s the daydreamer now?” I jest as I push off down the narrow corridor towards my station. The corridor opens to a square-shaped room with a central pillar housing a ladder. The walls here are free from wires and tubes but they retain the clean white colour. 

Scattered around the perimeter are various work areas designed for scientific experimentation. The station is equipped with some of the best equipment humanity has to offer. I pass Anya’s neat and tidy setup and admire the ribbon of green plants that snake their way across the growth pots. I spy a ribbon attached to one plant that reads ‘Promising candidate. Breed with specimen Alpha 4.’ 

Logan’s station, by contrast, is pure chaos and, to me, much more of an enigma. His work area is littered with materials samples and flasks of chemicals all carefully secured in seemingly no real order. Yet, were he in front of me right now, he’d identify every substance and lecture me on its purpose and potential to revolutionise the world. I’d have to take his word for it, though; materials science isn’t my area. 

Arriving at my station I grab the pipette and lower it into the growth flask, extracting a sample of ten micrometers of cell suspension precisely. With the sample transferred to the slide I place it under the microscope and peer through the lens. Blobs, simple undifferentiated blobs, fill my view. “Damn” I whisper to myself. These were supposed to be nerve cells by now. I double checked the quantity of growth factors, used the right number of seed cells and had made absolutely sure that the temperature had remained constant but still no luck. 

I'd been at this for two weeks. No amount of tweaking the drug concoction or modifying the external conditions could get them to obey my will. This has become personal now. These tiny unspecialised cells were not going to outsmart me. I needed a second opinion.

“Anya, are you there?” I enquire through my headset. 

“Not sure where else I’d be. We’re kinda stuck up here in case you hadn’t noticed.” Anya’s dry tone hung in the headset.

Anya is our other resident biologist, a few years my junior but, I don't mind admitting, infinitely wiser. “Thanks Anya but really I just wanted to know if your com was on and where you were on the station” 

“Yes and in the dorm. Next time just say what you mean.” 

“Noted.” I depart my station and grab the handrail above propelling myself across the lab area toward the junction with the sleeping area. As I reach the narrow opening and propel myself through into yet another claustrophobic, white tube Irina approaches from the other direction. Spotting her toolbag in hand I maneuver myself out of the way and allow her to pass by. “Another leak?” 

“No, something electrical I think. Comms with ground are patchy at best and I’ve been trying to figure out why.” Her usual calm voice was twinged by a slight hint of worry. “Nothing major though. I think I’ve isolated it to a small section of wiring in the storage area.” 

“If there’s anyone who can work it out it's you. Besides, who really needs to talk to ground control anyway?”

With a faint smile beneath her blue eyes Irina continues on her way, her blonde locks trailing behind her. In a crisis, not that this was one, there really is no one better; cool, calm, collected and one hell of an engineer. 

I continue my journey and round the corner to the sleeping area, one unlike anything you might see on earth. We really do take gravity for granted back home. You lay on your bed and you can be pretty damn sure you aren't going to float up and away from it. Up here beds are on the walls, though walls turn into floors and floors into walls depending on your orientation. They also come with straps and doors; it’s almost like tucking yourself into a coffin at night. 

Anya floats fiddling with a small electrical sensor, her brunette hair fans out around her head like a lion’s mane. She curses under her breath as the sensor refuses to obey her will. 

“Having some trouble?” I ask, rather unhelpfully. Her deep brown eyes flick away from the sensor to give me a look you could only describe as a death stare. Meant with kindness, I’m sure. 

“Can I help?” I offer. 

“You? Probably not. Irina might be able to. This sensor’s been spitting out nonsense lately and we’re not due a replacement until the ship docks next week. What did you need from me?” 

“Cells haven’t differentiated. Again” I grumble. “I’ve tweaked the levels of retinoic acid, adjusted the temperatures, even tried introducing some extra growth factors but, in the end, nothing happens.” 

“What are you growing them in?” Anya replies absently still hellbent on fixing her sensor.

“Just standard culture medium. Why do you ask?” 

She looks back over to me “Try making it more conductive. This should promote the growth of the nerve cells just don't add too much salt or-” 

“They’ll die. Got it! You’re a legend Anya, did I ever tell you that?” 

“You don’t need to I’m already aware” 

“Humble too!” I tease as I propel myself from the sleeping zone back towards the awaiting cells.

The next few hours consist of me setting up the next round of culture cells. I decide to run multiple cultures, each at different salt concentrations, so that I can quickly find the ideal conditions. If this works I’ll have to find a way to make it up to Anya when we’re both back on solid ground. I won’t know if it has worked for a few days yet, so I figure I might as well get some exercise in.

I strap myself into the treadmill thinking again about how much easier this is on earth. Bungee cords keep me on the running surface below, it wouldn't be much exercise if I was still floating. I cherish my time in the gym. Preventing my muscles from atrophying and my bones from turning to dust is a welcome bonus, but mostly, I appreciate the time to get lost in my own thoughts. 

I drift off to England: the soft purr of my cat Tilly, the feel of the cold winter air on a walk through the forest, the kind words of my parents when I’ve suffered disappointment. I’m reminded of why I made it up here in the first place. 

I’m barely lost in thought before Logan glides through the exercise capsule opening, snapping me back to reality. He puts two firm hands on my shoulder and shakes as he moves past me towards the weights machine. “Cass, working hard I see” he jokes. 

I’m suddenly aware that whilst I had been daydreaming I’d slowed to a kind of fast walk. I pick up my pace again, suddenly back in the room, and reply “I was somewhere completely different ‘till you arrived.”

“Home?” He replies.

“You know it. I don’t want to leave space, but I do want to be home.” 

“It’s a fucker isn't it? I felt the same when I was on deployment; I loved flying, loved being on base with everyone but, shit, I wished it was a day job and I could sleep in my own bed with my wife.” 

“I think the commute up here would be a dealbreaker for me though.” I respond with a dry tone.

“Not up for a rocket in the morning and a descent capsule in the evening?” 

“As tempting as that sounds, I think I’ll have to pass.”

Logan had strapped himself into the ARED: the station’s glorified, squeaky weight bench. He was pushing 105kg today, the flywheels hissing in rhythm with his breathing His previous military pilot experience has given him a well chiseled body that paired well with his light brown hair that sat messy on his head, and his piercing green eyes. 

“Still would be good to get used to re-entry” He says breathlessly between reps. “Mars Landings are rough” 

“Six minutes of hell is what they say” 

“The exact opposite of what I give my wife” Logan replies with a wry smile across his face.

I let out a huff of laughter, trying to keep my pace steady on the treadmill. “Come on now, we both know you aren't lasting six minutes” I joke, shooting a cheeky grin across at him.

He falters mid rep, trying to hold in a laugh. “Not going… to take that… from a guy who can barely… hit a nine minute mile” He says finishing his rep on the ARED. 

We continue to go back and forth as we spend the next 45 minutes cycling through our various mandated exercises. We stop just in time to head back to the central chamber for Danny’s daily check in. There wasn’t often much to talk about but Danny had his old school ways and wanted to make sure we all knew what was happening aboard the station. 

“Thanks for joining us, we've just been discussing the comms issues” Danny says as Logan and I float into the room. The three other members of the crew float in a rough semicircle in the station's cramped central room. The white walls of this area are covered in panels, wires snake across the walls like ivy on the frontage of a house. An occasional screen interrupts the flow of the wires displaying some piece of vital information about the health of the space station.

“I think I have isolated the problem and it should be fixed but, I need you to let me know if anything else goes wrong.” Irina says. “I thought I had it fixed last week but we still ran into gremlins”. 

“Thanks Irina we will keep an eye out” Danny responds. 

As I turn from Irina to Danny something behind him catches my eye; One of the screens behind Danny has a small red message blinking in the centre. I push forward past Danny, excusing myself on the way and take a closer look at the screen. The message reads:

“INCOMING DEBRIS FIELD. SHELTER IN CAPSULE.”

“Danny, I think we might have a problem here. Scanners are picking up a field of debris on the horizon. It must be significant because we're being told to shelter in the capsule.” I state, a tinge of concern creeping into my voice.

“How far out is it?” Danny responds calmly. 

I search the screen for the answer but can’t find it. Dismissing the warning with a swipe of my finger I switch the view on the screen. A sigh of relief escapes my mouth as I locate the information. “The system reckons it's about 20 minutes away” I respond. 

“Good, we have time then. Irina, time to hail ground control to see if those comms really are back up and running. Logan, get to thruster control and see if we can boost away from the debris cloud. Anya and Cassian make your way to the return capsule, we'll meet you onboard when we’re ready” Danny instructs. 

Before I can even argue with Danny about sending me to the capsule I am interrupted by a sudden sound. It’s almost like a faint hiss or whistle, the kind of sound you get when you first open a fizzy drink. It’s coming from behind me. No, it's in front of me. Oh shit, it's both and from either side. The sound makes my skin crawl and I begin to make a brief 

The automated systems know what is happening before we do, a wailing siren blares out, red lights begin to flash, and a screen in front of me flashes with a new message: 

“HULL BREACH DETECTED”

My stomach drops as I realise what is about to happen.