u/pink_kyutie

So I went to a male gyno because I had been bleeding for more than a month. I actually ended up seeing a male gyno because that was the earliest appointment available. The appointments with the female gynos were much farther out, and since I had already been bleeding for so long, I wanted to be seen as soon as possible. So unfortunately, I ended up having to see a male gyno.

The bleeding was medium, but I was having clots, so I did feel like I was having abnormal uterine bleeding. I’ve had this happen previously too, and I had seen another practitioner before. Pretty much everyone I’ve seen has recommended birth control pills/hormonal pills.

But I’ve taken birth control before, and this time I actually wanted to understand the root cause of what was happening.
When I went to this gyno, one of the first things he said was, “Oh, it’s a classic case. It’s a classic case. You just have to take birth control pills.” He also kept telling me that I’m “not going to die because of it” and that it’s not a serious or urgent situation. According to him, it just affects my quality of life, so technically I could go without medication, but I could take birth control if I wanted to improve my quality of life.
I also asked him about PCOS possibly being renamed/reframed as PMOS because of the metabolic aspect of the condition. He basically said, “Oh, that’s just a fancy name to call it. It doesn’t make any difference.”
That honestly triggered me a lot.
I started asking questions about other aspects of PCOS because I genuinely wanted information. I brought up metformin because I’ve heard about it and wanted to know what its role is and whether it could be relevant. I wasn’t demanding that he prescribe it. I just wanted to know his thoughts and see if he was open to having a healthy conversation with me about different approaches.
His response was basically, “Metformin is just a waste of time. Birth control pills are good.”
Anything I asked about somehow ended with birth control pills. It was basically, “Just take it. Just take it.”
My boyfriend was with me too, and he was also trying to ask questions because I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS since I was 17. At this point, I already KNOW that birth control pills are an option. That wasn’t what I was trying to find out. We wanted to understand more about what could actually be causing my symptoms and the metabolic side of PCOS.
Eventually he said I could get a scan, so I did. The scan didn’t show any cysts.

The whole interaction just felt really dismissive to me. Especially repeatedly hearing, “You’re not going to die because of it,” “It’s not that serious,” and “It’s just quality of life.”
Like… just quality of life?
And calling PMOS a “fancy name” really bothered me too. I wasn’t expecting him to agree with everything I asked or prescribe whatever I mentioned. I just wanted a doctor who was willing to actually have a conversation with me about PCOS beyond “take birth control pills.”
This was honestly one of my worst experiences with a gyno.

Did anyone here got into a job after undergrad and masters in physics? Bcs I’m confused whether I really need this PhD to get a job? Am I passionate about research? I was, not anymore after realising the politics inside and outside research in academia. All I had is physicals and mental health issues and the stipend is not enough to cover. I’m thinking of switching to jobs by dropping PhD. But I’m unsure if there’s even a possibility for ppl like me who only have a undergrad and masters in my field physics to get a job other than teaching positions.

Ohh I’m in 2nd year and I have a PI who is toxic. She asks personal questions and she likes to advice me not to take antidepressants bcs they are scam and I just need to spend time with friends for it to all go away! She likes commenting about my life, comparing all her students with one another and if the exp doesn’t work puts all blame on us and belittle us. She then tends to be very sweet for another 2 days a week, we probably would think oh she is getting better, but there you go! She criticises you for something she told me to do and then says that I’m more like undergrad and she never saw me at a PhD level which is embarrassing. Can’t take holidays for break and in case we miss the group meeting due to health issues, she’d just ignore your messages. Oh yes, she also checks our office to see if we are in there whenever we have no TA works (she knows our timetable bcs we are forced to stick them in front of the office door so she could see them) and she would just slack in the group asking where we are why are we not there. Probably went for lunch or maybe living through a day full of chores? Ohh and likes to say this generation is so wrong and distracted with the gadgets and to put them locked in our drawer during work hours. At times she is good and I feel I like her and then boom I’d feel like I never want to see her!

I’m currently completing my 2nd year of PhD in physics and it’s in the US, so I have like 3 more years to complete it. I’m kind of questioning my choice here! I know usually grad students go through this phase but I’m genuinely concerned about the current situation of the job market and whether putting another effort for 3 years would benefit me. Joined PhD with the hope to contribute to science but figured it out that it’s not the case and I’m just a normal under paid worker who basically does research for my PI, when clearly she doesn’t acknowledge anything that I do. I’m on my F1 visa, an I’m stuck on this matter. I truly. Have no idea what will happen if I master out, whether there are actually some okayish jobs that would help me survive or should I keep doing PhD and again search for jobs! I’m so done mentally and physical with health issues too! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks:)