u/pinkystinky144

i thought that's really funny and accurate. i can only imagine.

most tarot questions are women asking about men, and most answers are probably that these men are either players, selfish, cheaters, wanna use you, have sketchy intentions, there's third party, they are avoidant, they are non comittal. i don't blame the reader(idk their gender) for being irritated at this point LOL imagine doing your 1000 reading ab some man, and he's just the same shit like any other man you read on. I'm cracking up. doesn't it show how being into men, makes women mentally spiral into obsession? while these men r just chilling getting all the benefits, youre killing yourself mentally until you go psychotic.

Like they can be so vile, mean, disrespectful, manipulative, gaslighting, deceptive, lying, denying, unfair, narcisistic, egoistic, privileged, powerful, calling you crazy for valid perveptions, harassing... after any discourse with them i feel deeply shaken and crying. it's like they are "tyrants". anyone else feels this? i just keep calling them and the women who love them a tyrants in my mind. it's so unfair of women to love these tyrants, these tyrants would never let us have so much power and freedom that women let men have. men would never tolarate the bs women tolerate from men(while holding women to higher standards). they don't tolerate anything else but submission to male ego from women and that's why i don't believe in the misandrist cope that men are the true submissive gender, there's NOTHING submissive in men towards women. less than nothing. opossite is true unfortunately(women being submissive to men). you can't win over those tyrants. idk how any woman can date them. i don't fucking know.

Because i see no point in being friends with someone i see as a traitor,

because i am dysphoric about female sex role and a woman who isn't.. her brain works differently,

because i see no point in friendships with someone i can't share my real thoughts with,

beacause i don't wanna feel alinated and gaslight about things,

because sex triggers me bc of its violent, bdsm and dergading for women elements,

because i want someone i can relate to even if they are different we need to share core values or admit on truths ab reality of womanhood, men or sex for women,

because i am scared of "normal people" and how unpredictable they are,

because female sexuality triggers me and i feel unsafe being friends with a woman who can possibly leaveour friendship for a man, have submissive sex fanatsies, love men in a pickme way where she actually takes action towards that,

because i have dysphoria and prefer bonding with less mentally feminine women(not physical presentation i mean but rather mind), a dysphoric woman dysphoric ab female role in sex won't have gross sexual fantasies,

because those women who have sex with bring men into your life,

because i'm autisitc and weird,

because i dont wanna be tone policed - self expression is very important to me

beacause i wanna be accepted for my darkness

because i don't want a woman to value a man in her life more than me and cohabitate with him while im left in the cold forced to survive alone while shes spoiling him and bettering his life

because het sex acts give me symtoms of mental terror

because i wanna be free to be myself

because i wanna be silly and have whimsy

because i hate the patriarchy

because im disilussioned with romance

because i dont like debating facts

because i dont relate to libfeminism and sex postivity

because i dont wanna be persecuted for my thoughts

because i dont like pickmes and male misogyny

because i wanna feel understood ab my problem with the two thungs i mentioned above and not gaslight ab my perceptions etc

i found friends in the past, but only at 24 finally for the first time, first one likeminded ghosted me after almost a year without a word, second one im still friends with but she ghosts often, third one ghosted me after something and said she doesnt like the way i think, fourth one is too depressed to engage regularly. they all were celibate virgins and i felt connected and attached to them, frienships with likemided women fullfil me and make my life better and help express myself and have fun. so theres hope for connections but im tired of trying. im so fucking tired, i just wanna be settled and secure already with platonic likeminded connections with other women with whom i can be myself, i wont find them irl. most women want men and romance with men or sex. i feel so fucking alienated scared and suffocated. its so weird to be unconventional in that way, its so weird to rebel against pickmes and men and feel like a fucking villain for that, its hard to not internalize being the "weird mentally ill crazy feminist villain misogynistic misandristic woman". its so weird to keeop trying after clashing with people you trie to connect with bc u have different values or they turn out to have boyfies or something. it's so tiring to get constantly abandoned by ppl u felt attached to. but im trying to stay positive and put myself out there into places with likeminded women. i valued friendships with women over romance with men but that makes me an outcast.

but is it wrong to be so strict in a world which nature makes most ppl a male ass suckers or female sexual masochists or sex degenerates who act in predictable ways therefore if someone doesnt fit these standards who r seen as strict by others, they will probably act in a predictable way?

I just saw a part of an interview with Nessa Berret and she said she wrote the song Candy about she always feels used after sex with men and how it's something she gives up something for to have with men.

"Had me on my knees, I did my best work
Gave it up for free and still I get hurt
If I charged a fee, I might feel better
Silly little me thinking love was more than sex work"

i would like to clarify that i'm dysphoric and my brain works differently than other women, but it leaves me confused.

That's why I said on other sub that im virgin for life bc of female role in sex and deeply questioned how women don't get bored of having straight sex if all stimulation they can seek in It is just themselves pleasing men empathetically n psychologically doing mental gymnastics to get off on that. Even piv is female surender into selflessness and getting mentally pleased by seeing man being pleased and seeing man cum while u dont just like it is in reproduction where female orgasm is irrelevant. What's the point? It's like sex is only mutual if a woman wants to be selfless and give it to a man as a reward for expl for a commitment from him and that's how heteros bond. But it is not equal. And to be mutual woman has to identify with sexual femininity and sexual submission. If she don't, it's not mutual. That's why me, a dysphoric woman, always vents ab how het sex isn't mutual. Bc it wouldn't be for me bc I can't soften up mentally to fit the female role in it. But women keep fighting me when I say for expl blowjobs only serve men, they say dick in their throat gets them off but that's my point, you get off psychologically on a man getting of physically, you're being submissive. If you weren't selfless in this act, it would give you nothing. All of this explains my dysphoria and why I always felt like I wouldn't be able to preserve my personality while having sex or romantic relationships as a woman, bc I would have to soften up to submit. But my personality traits go against it pretty much. That's why I found womanhood suffocating. It's the receptive role, it only makes us slaves to men while giving them power, it's only a trap, but isn't it weird how it's our sexuality our body our sex drive but nature made it to please men and not us truly? You truly only can "own your sexuality" as a woman by staying celibate, it's much more fullfiling than training yourself mentally to get fullfiled by fullfiling a man. Even acts like bjs serve men 1000000x more than anything in sex serves women and they can't be reciprocated. Ykwim? it's also like the nature of straigh sex creates all these BRUTAL standards for women to be feminine, soft, male loving, polite, egoless, into degrading acts or else you're a feminist prude and will end up a cat lady, be sex positive even if sex is so unfair, like huhhh isn't it all crazy, it's like sex upholds patriarchal gender roles. But when i say to humans: het sex only serves men, het sex is not equal, het sex is male worship. then they all gaslight and sugar coat, but how u gonna sugar coat woman kneeling to a man and doing bj, mate???? they treat me like a crazy schizophrenic who's making up things, but i always was accurate ab the nature of sex! ik most women have no issue with that bc they arent dysphoric but uhhh

also does anyone else see how women only wanna act like pornstars for men to be seen as cool or out of pressure and they lie to themselves and others that they like it? some admit they lied some never do.

it's a bioessentialist take. i think we can't truly see from male point of view, we just project. i've never been the one to trust men, have sex with them or date them, but i still have to train myself to try to see their pov more fully bc my female mind keeps projecting onto them.

so i've always been unusual, what protected me from men at first is simply being shy, autistic and bad at social skills and the intituive awareness of what male human physiognomy is an embodiment of. it prevented me from getting close to them or letting them get close or even speaking to them face to face which i only done one in my life(like personal chatting outside of proffesional situations like denist or doctor) and it was when i chatted up a man at my gym this year at 26. i've been naive due to personality and autism but not pickme type of naive. then slowly i kept developing more consciousness about what men are, and as of now even if i project, i never believe the projection fully so even the goodest looking man is questioned by me to the core and i assucuse him of shit in my mind HOWEVER i still can't fully fanthom how truly vile they r n their true intentions, yeah i assume they all have bad intentions but at the same time i think i have to seriously extend my mind to try to figure out thier evilness, it can come naturally to me BUT NOT TRULY LIKE IM STILL STUPID ABOUT THEM even tho im the most blackpilled woman on earth and uhh why are our brains like this?? i think it comes from our female biology. like it made us to be a fucking prey. like its hard to rationalixe that they are THIS evil. ALL OF THEM. u have to repeat it to yourself over n over again. but at the same time their masculine physiognomy and them embodying penetrative sex role kinda says all of this bad shit ab them.

it also makes me think this random thought. image how uncomfortable a woman with a nigel must feel when she meets a woman like me who completely challanges her view of her man, it probably gives her internal conflict ab choosing to be male partered OR she thinks i have internal conflict ab being single which is never true.

"youre a prude"

"youre a puritam"

"no man will want you"

"youre no fun"

"youre shaming other women"

basically since our female biology put us into a compromising position in sex then if we don't like it we are seen as a freaks of nature. for expl the weirdest most controversial thing a woman can say even a lesbian is that she finds for expl bjs dergading and submissive, it makes human go rabid after hearing that. but what does it say?

society will say to women "u can be whatever u want, u dont have to be feminine or submissive" but when a woman doesnt like sex while in sex THIS IS OUR INHERENT POSITON. then SHES PATHOLOGIZED. it brings up the topic from my previous post: the gaslighting and sugar coating about the nature of sex. ab the natural power dynamics in sex. women arent allowed to not like the idea of being penetrated on all fours from behind or into the mouth, we are called prudes for that. do you know how insane is that? like sorry i dont want to be on all fours while someone makes violent movements into my body while penetrating me into my most intimate part physically and psychologcally and i have to submit aka abandon any human traits that dont fit submission such as bossiness, dominance, ego, self respect, pride, diginity, feminist beliefs, rebellion, fieriness... AND THOSE ARE MY NATURAL TRAITS I HAD SINCE I WAS A CHILD!!!!!! how am i supossed to go againt my brain!!!!!!!! HOW

i can give another expl. when people want to punish a woman who acts masculine, bossy, feminist, fiery, egoistic they always use her natural position in sex to do that bc the mental state she has to be in to engage in sex as a female body is the opossite of these more masculine traits. it realized it all bc of my gender dysohoria, i dont even want humans to stop having sex or whatever, i just want something i can never have- understanding and validation and not constant sugar coating. im not dumb. im perceptive, i see patterns and i understand the nature of sex, i can reflect on things and come to conclusions. my analysis is based on real raw human reality and human behaviors while their on just ridiculing me. i truly do not like womanhood but i think the gaslighting is even worse than the femake biology itsefl to me atp lol i only stop obsessing when i get ppl to admit the reality to me, its like a magic switch

but lol back to the title. theres things in sex that are less common but still common and they are more violent things i wont even name them all. but not wanting them as a woman... also gets u judged, ur told u wont get a man, ur told your useless, ur told ur a prude, ur told if u wont give it to ur man he will get a woman who will(and thats actually true and i saw it happen multiple times esp with rad feminist women who bragged ab having vanillia(i dont believe in vanillia sex tbh lmao) sex life but then they found out their man was engaging in violent sex acts with other women so.

its all not only in heterosexual sex, its also in lesbian and gay sex so no scenerio of sex as a woman body or in receptive position would be okay with me, i think what im truly trying yo get understanding for is the backlash a woman not comfortable with feminine receptive position in sex gets, it all gave me phobia of sex. the biggest ive seen in anyone so far. people treat me like a freak but if a man said he doesnt wanna gibe blowjobs or be on all fours then NO ONE would call him a prude, no one absolutely no one unless hes gay and other gay men would shame him. i would like it all to be psychoanalyzed lol like women r punished for not comforming/ i used to have depression since 12 till 24 but now im happy fulliled capable of joy despite being blackpilled, i have high mental and physical energy, i love myself, im self assured, confident irl, i take care of myselg, i go outside, i recover from sadness quickly, i belive in myself so there is hope BUT I STILL HATE SEX AND WOMAHOOD but these days i can write angry post while still feeling calm but yeah ppl will still tell me to go to therapy, for what?. me being all this also goes against stereotypes ab ppl like me, or stereotypes ab virgins, they think were all intriverted isolated "losers" who pee themselves at the thought of interacing with a person irl esp person of the sex were into. or they think we lack confidence, we sefl loath and were depressed and blah blah blah

i don't know how to structure this post or verbalize what i want to say. so basicically i'm a biological woman(autistic, highly sensitive, virgin, adult) and i have an extreme phobia fo sex and dysphoria about female role in sex. it started when i learned that women uh have to suck dick and get fucked on all fours in sex and it was when i experienced literal symptoms of terror about it and womanhood for the first time in my life and experience them till now at the thought of this submission. then for the next dacade i uncovered this hell to it's core and how bad and unsalvagable for a woman it truly is. i've came to the conclusion that sex naturally contains violent elements and female submission in sex is human and natural. i didn't like it nor accept it. i didn't grow out out of my phobia of female role, instead i grew into it and i've been an adult for long now. my problem is that humans esp other women constantly gaslight me about it all. like constantly and it ends up ditressing me severely and i start hyperventilating. i never got proper understading for it all(for being a girl who finds female role in sex shocking and psychologcially terrorizing like just even thinking ab women doing blowjobs or doggystyle brings me terror). i keep talking and talking about it but everyone acts like i'm a schizophrenic whos making up things. its very insulting bc im actually very perceptive ab the nature of sex and the human male/masculine-human female/feminine polarity. uhh also another thing: porn. porn reflects the reality of human biology, male female poalarity and authentic RAW human desires. men are penetrative and women receptive. men can be both technically and women only one. this makes womanhood feel limiting to me. so being penetrative creates sadistic fantasies and receptive masochistic. its reflected in male and female psychology and the patterns in their behaviors. men tend to be misogynistic and women tend to be pickmes. idk how to say all i wanna say to get understadning. but since i was a young teen i keep reading about human sex lives online and all i see women say is just them wanting to be degraded and dominated used etc. like they be saying "i love feeling dick in my throat it makes me feel USED!" and men be saying "i love my wife cause she deepthroats my dick like a champ" and then i get triggered and vent about and other women start screeeching at me and gaslighting me ab it all. rt say sex is all neutral, sucking dick isnt humiliating and these acts arent violent even they say face fucking isnt violent lmao? and then they tell me to see a therapist. as if a woman not being into submission and degradation is something to be fixed. my point is bascially that sex is naturally violent to women and people who say that i can be NOT harsh are sugarcoating the nature of sex and make me out to be a freak and not the sensitive perceptive girl i am. i just cant understand why women cant have love or love without their own degradation and why its impossible to like womahood sexually without identifying with sexual submission. my dysphoria is deblitating man...

why is it not seen as valid that a girl is shocked or psychologically terrorized for expl by the idea of women having dicks aka pentrative genitals put in their mouths? when i came online first to vent ab it i thought this would the the easiest thing to understand by other women and that feeling this way as a girl is the most valid feeling in existence but instead i got bullied and gaslighted by other women and ended up as a woman hating who's a woman. i remember when i saw a twitter acc that posted sex confessions, the host was a woman and she got an anon message from a woman saying she likes face fucking and then other anon criticizes said woman and the host said "stfu face fucking is COOL AS FUUUUUCK" so i had a breakdown and went somewhere online to vent but i got no understanding i just got terrorized by other women as usual making me grow even more resentful towards them and their female biology and sexuality. i can't accept the reality of sex for women and i feel terror on daily and humans refuse to give me my only relief- understanding and validation and truth. they just gaslight, like i go and say oh i hate how women wanna be degraded and some woman says it doesnt have to be this way(sugarcoating) but then it turns out that she likes being degraded too lol wow what a coincidence u say it doesnt have to be this way but u want i tto be this way too lmfao. besides it all i am completely dissilusioned with hetero romance for women and all women can do in het sex is serve men tbh. that's all bascially, i dont believe in sexual love, its just polarity and sexual chemistry but it has no longevity and it is shallow, sexuals cant be soulmates and women always get fucked over in those relations. and like woman who value is absed on how good she is in bed with men and how good and piglike her blowjobs are. when a man loves a woman he loves her bc she gives him piglike blowjobs. oh another last harsh thought or rather the reality is harsh: sex with men makes women act liek dogs and pickmes who throw away their diginity sefl respect and comfort. or maybe now second last.. in nature msot sex is jsut rape. monhts ago i saw male chicked rape a femake chicked, he just walked in put his claws on her back and started penetrating, its literally rape lol why wouldnt human sex contain the same harshness if were animals too. i alwasy felt alianated from womanhood and other women. i was always different and called a prude. but at the edn i uncovered that i have factual dysphoria about biology and not my social role...

my only like tangible proof of all my claims is simply a real video of human sex, in these visuals u can see everyhting even the psychology of sex, female and male role, the inherent female submission, how blowjobs are piglike and obscene and woman has to behave in a burdening and humiliating way in them and it makes her even look ugly and deformed and stupid as fuck under a male :(((( its like sex is jsut women treating men like men are gods they bow down to at their feet and worship i feel so fucking dysphoric about this role and NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME people jsut keep doing this mentally abusive gaslighting ab the reality i experience to me

Back when he had other yt channel specifically for livestreams which are now deleted. He basically blamed EMF for him not getting hard for women.