u/prettymuchguilty

At first, he seemed like the perfect partner......polite, kind, and caring. Slowly, he made me depend on him for everything. He cut me off from my friends, controlled my finances, and manipulated me with threats of self‑harm whenever I tried to leave.

He became obsessive..... standing outside my home and office, accusing me of cheating, even showing jealousy when I spoke to my parents. If I didn’t answer his calls, he would force his way into my home, lock me inside, and demand apologies.

The situation escalated into public scenes dragging me into the street, shouting, throwing stones at strangers who tried to help. When the police were called, he turned the blame on me, falsely accusing me of taking money. Thankfully, I had proof to clear my name.

Even after promising to leave me alone, he still calls and text me as if nothing had happened. I live alone, and I am terrified he will show up again. He even quit his job months ago just to monitor me.

I’m sharing this because I don’t know what to do next. Blocking him feels dangerous, but continuing like this is unbearable. I’m scared for my safety.

What should I do? Has anyone faced something similar, and how did you protect yourself?

From my 10th standard I always wanted to become a lawyer. I don’t even know why, but the dream grew along with me. My parents were never okay with it, so after my plus two they forced me to take a degree in Arts. I completed a BA in Economics, and later when I cleared the KLEE entrance exam for law school, they still didn’t allow me to join. Instead, I pursued post‑graduation in Economics while working part‑time so I wouldn’t waste my academics. After that I got a backend job in Bangalore, but I was completely unsatisfied with my life. Finally, after one year, without asking for my parents’ permission, I joined LLB in Bangalore. I finished it in first class, passed the AIBE, and started searching for internships.

After a month of searching, I joined a non‑litigation firm almost an hour away from my place. I was shocked to see that most interns there were just second or third semester students. Since they were Kannadigas, they dominated the environment, and enrolled advocates like me were given zero value. They weren’t willing to teach us anything, and the firm kept adding more of their classmates who were ready to work 10 hours a day for ₹5k–₹6k. Seniors were fine with this because they got cheap labor, and even allowed them to rag us. The environment was toxic and racist. Staying there felt pointless...I was only serving those kids, not learning anything.

One day, I approached another advocate’s office. The senior seemed interested in hiring me, until I mentioned my current firm. He laughed, called one of his interns (a final‑year student who had worked at my firm for 1.5 years), and put the call on speaker. She immediately said, “Don’t hire non‑Kannadigas.” She also bad‑mouthed the firm where she herself had worked for so long. After hearing that, the senior handed back my documents and said, “Sorry, we’re not hiring.” That moment was a shock. Students who skip classes, work long hours for peanuts, and spread toxicity are taking away opportunities from people like me. Seniors just want slaves to get their work done.

I’ve been in Bangalore for 5 years. I can speak Kannada, and I expected some level of bias, but the racism and toxicity I’ve faced are beyond what I imagined. I feel like all my effort and my dream of becoming a lawyer were wasted. Right now, I’m questioning myself...did I choose the wrong career? Should I go back to my marketing profession? Or should I stick with law despite the toxic environment? My health is ruined. Sleep is gone. Happiness is gone. I feel like a robot. I wanted to share this here because I don’t know if others have faced similar struggles. Is it even possible for self‑respecting people to survive in this profession when the system seems to reward exploitation and discrimination?