u/pretywhenyoucry

I want to read something where the female lead is not so good at studies, like she tries but just can't score good marks or something like that. I for once, want to relate to a fl cause why does every femalelead excel in academics.
I'm really struggling in college and what to read something relatable..
Any genre is fine with me!! romance/no-romance/fanatsy/non-fiction

https://preview.redd.it/u9swmazailch1.png?width=1872&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe7c3413b95b5d667158dd131ec9f90eaeadfda5

https://preview.redd.it/2e4bx9d6ilch1.png?width=1857&format=png&auto=webp&s=32726fd3258a1585ef9acd00a0e3db1dcfdca54a

Hi! So, I've been thinking about this for months and as I've entered my final year of university, I feel like I can't go on living like this.

So for instance, I've noticed that i've become a very jealous/envious person, like those characters you read in books who is always jealous of the main character or the reels on insta of "friends who are jealous of you".... I'm not rude or bitchy or mean (i think what's stopping me is that i'm kind of a pushover, people pleaser and an introvert..). I'll give you a few examples of what I've been thinking:

1. Whenever marks are out, if in my friend group, someone scores more than me I get jealous... and I don't want to be like that, I want to be happy for my friends...
2. When I was looking at my semester end gpa I was relieved that atleast one of my friends has lower gpa than me..(again I feel awful for thinking like this)...
3. This one just makes me feel so bad, because I don't want to think like this; me and my friends were on a group call when my one of my closest friend told us that she was waiting for her ride bla bla bla and a cute gay guy said to her that she looks like a total baddie bla bla... normal stuff but the first thing I thought was I travel more than her in this city (cause I live here, she's here for an internship) and never has it happened to me...and mind you i've had m fair share of strangers tell me that I look pretty but still I felt jealous and the reaction I was giving her (being happy for her) sounded fake..
4. I feel jealous when someone compliments my friend (who's for example standing next to me) and not me...
5. (this is... please don't judge me too hard,I know it's difficult) I don't think like this now, i'm just really embarrassed that I even had a thought like this, there was a time when I thought I'm the best looking in my friend group... EWW absolutely not, all my friends are really really pretty, much prettier then me, everyone is really beautiful and lovely girls..(I only have female friends)

I saw videos saying this is scarcity mindset and how you should be away from such competitive friends...(I don't think I was their target audience..anways)... I hate being like this, I feel disgusted with myself, all my friends thinks I'm such a good friend but how can I be a good friend when I think like this :(

ADDITIONALLY, this is something that makes me feel sad, I always listen to the person speaking, always let them complete their sentence, if by mistake I interrupt someone because I was too excited or suddenly remembered something, I always apologize and ask them to continue what they were saying. So when someone interrupts me, like i'm telling a story and they just start talking about something else it really really hurts me. And this happends alot. And even my close friends do this :( What can I do about this too..?

Please don't be rude :)

Please help me find a manga, all I remember is the male lead had curly/wavy hair??? (i'm not sure) and glasses and the smut was really good. The communication was also nice. It was not a highschool romance.
(I know this is very vague but 😭😭😭)